Jazz
by adoranymph
Summary: Juvia Lockser, one of Phantom Lord's top assassins, was just trying to survive from one day to the next. Gray Fullbuster, who'd found a second family with everyone who hung out at the Fairy Tail Bar, still held out for revenge. Neither of them expected they'd get to find the kind of love they could live for. But if they weren't careful, they'd both wind up dead. Gruvia A/U.
1. Da Capo

**Chapter One**

 **Da Capo**

Juvia Lockser applied a shade of coral lipstick as she bent towards the mirror in the restaurant bathroom, touching up the color that had faded since she'd first put it on earlier that morning. If she was being honest with herself though, anything to steal a few moments away from Jose Porla was worth it. But she could only stand there, smacking her lips and fussing with her long blue hair that fell in waves about her shoulders for so long before Porla started to get suspicious and send someone from the restaurant in after her. And that was the last thing she wanted. Things would only get worse for her if there was a scene.

Anyway, this was only a brief respite from the dark world she lived in. Other such moments were few and far between, but she took what she could get, even if it was just to take a few moments to fix her makeup. When she was really desperate, she'd find a way to excuse herself even when something like her makeup didn't need fixing.

She took her time now nonetheless, before straightening and twisting the lipstick closed and capping it. She considered herself one last time in the mirror, and then threw her lipstick back in her handbag and took a deep breath, as one might do before taking the leap off a high dive.

Back out in the restaurant, Porla appeared to be flirting with the waitress as she refilled his wine glass. Juvia cringed inwardly but did her best to hold her chin high and act like she was still the hottest thing in the room. It had been one of a handful of survival techniques she'd lived by since she'd been barely thirteen years old, when Porla had dragged her down into his dark world.

Just as he was kissing the back of the waitress's hand and then giving her behind a smack to which she responded with a sickeningly coquettish giggle, Juvia reached the table. He looked up as she drew back her chair so she could sit. He leered at her in his usual way, and in her usual way, she pretended to find it charming and smiled back at him. She'd become so practiced at it that there were days she worried she'd accidentally slip into the skin of a woman who legitimately pined for his attention, as she had watched so many other women do, helpless to save them from themselves because she'd had enough to worry about trying to save her own skin.

Juvia laid her handbag beside her on the white tablecloth and shook her head a little, shaking back her thick blue tresses of hair.

"So, my lovely Siren," Porla said, using her codename as a pet name as he leaned back like a sultan in his chair. "Why don't we discuss your next hit?"

"Can't we at least have the main course first?" said Juvia, though she tried to sound playful about it. "One meal at a time, after all."

"Oh, this is just to whet your appetite, babe." Porla straightened up in his chair and then reached into the inside breast pocket of his suit jacket and produced a picture, which he turned over in his fingers like he were doing a card trick before he laid it flat on the table and slid it across to Juvia.

She was treated to a photograph of an old man who appeared to be having the time of his life at a bar. The picture didn't show it, as anyone else who might have been with him was cut out of frame, but she could tell that he wasn't drinking alone, the he was in fact drinking among the sort of friends who were so close you considered them family.

Juvia felt a pang at the idea before she put that aside and turned the photograph over to find the name scribbled on the back.

 _Makarov Dreyar._

"Former chief of police in the seventh precinct," said Porla, picking up his wine and swilling it before taking a quaff. After he swallowed he added, "He knows things. Too many things. He's a liability to the Phantom Lord syndicate and how we do business. Or rather, I should say, what our business _is_."

In this case, Juvia was completely on the retired police chief's side. She always had been. Phantom Lord dealt in drug trafficking. Made bank doing it too. Which meant that aside from the occasional time Porla would get drunk and take out his violent anger on Juvia, she lived a very high and sophisticated lifestyle. Save for the days she stayed in her room when she got something like a black eye and Porla didn't want anyone to see, she was treated like a well-to-do lady within the walls of Phantom Lord mansion. Provided she stayed confined within the compound.

Really, for her, it was nothing more than a glamorous prison.

Except when she was unleashed to take out the targets Porla ordered her to. After all, she was also trained in everything from basic gunplay to sniping.

That said though, there was nothing she could do but do as Porla asked of her if she wanted to stay alive. He'd made that very clear the first time he'd brought her to Phantom Lord mansion, weeping and broken.

So, unfortunately, Juvia couldn't afford to spare this perfectly decent old man's life, anymore than she could any of the other people she'd killed in the time Porla had used as one of his personal assassins.

At least while she was still Jose Porla's plaything.

"Where can I find him?" Juvia asked, already tucking the photo discreetly in her bag, right alongside her Kimber Sapphire Ultra II 9mm semi-automatic pistol.

"There's a bar, where he hangs out," Porla told her. "The Fairy Tail, they call it. A gal named Mirajane Strauss runs it. Tends bar there too. But be careful. She's got a Winchester shotgun under the bar, and she knows how to use it. And one of the other regulars there's not only one of the top cops in the city, she's Dreyar's protégée. She took over as chief of police for him. Chief Erza Scarlet. And from what I hear about her, her boyfriend's an ex-marine. In and out of the mental hospital for PTSD. Sargent Jellal Fernandes. Oh, and let's not forget the bar's other two notorious regulars—notorious in the sense that they're general rabble rousers, but the…Robin Hood sort, if you know what I mean. And someone with the sort of moral fiber that Chief Scarlet has would let them get away with certain things if they're in the name of a…brand of vigilantism."

"Should I expect people that distantly related to my target getting that involved?" Juvia asked with clinical focus.

"You should consider it a possibility," Porla warned, turning strangely serious as he set his wineglass back down while Juvia picked up her own. "Those two rabble-rouser sorts I told you about? They're troublemakers, sure, but they take care of their own. If they get even a whiff that you're after someone like Makarov Dreyar, who might as well be the godfather of the whole damn bar, they will beat you to within an inch of your life—doesn't matter if you're a man, a woman, or a child, which, I gotta admit, I admire that kinda hardball play. And don't forget, that's all before they even get their guns. From what Sol's told me, they're both just as skilled as Scarlet in handguns and firearms."

Juvia snorted. "I'm way more dangerous."

Porla raised his eyebrows at her. "Careful, sweetheart," he said, but rather than sounding concerned it sounded more like a threat, coming from him.

Juvia cleared her throat and sipped her wine, hiding her discomfort.

"Anyway," Porla went on, scratching at his mustache with one hand while he took the switchblade out of his pocket with his other. "They know how to mess you up."

"But they aren't ex-soldiers or cops? Like at all?"

"Not at all. They just believe in being prepared. Well, and they weren't always on the up and up. They both grew up on the streets. Actually, one of 'em had a pretty decent home as a kid before his folks got whacked by the Deliora family. Rumor is he's kept his ear to the ground ever since for any sign of those fucks, made a vow of revenge on the crosses carved into the gun grips of his father's silver desert eagle, or some bull like that. As for the other, well he's your typical parents-were-too-poor-so-they-abandoned-him shit. But anyway…well…you know how only the people who learn how to kill are the ones who survive…living on the streets."

Porla flicked open his switchblade and grinned.

Juvia bristled inwardly, but kept her disgust tamped down, along with the horrid memories of her childhood and how Porla had made it so hellish for her.

"He, he, he," Porla chuckled, flicking the blade closed again. "So, that's what these two did. They're pretty lethal when they wanna be. And even though their friend Scarlet has set them straight, they're still…you know…bad boys with hearts of gold and all that."

"All right, fine," said Juvia, trying to make herself sound submissive so Porla would quit trying to intimidate her into his arms and just tell her the names of these two "bad boys". "And their names would be?"

Porla grinned as he picked up his wine glass again. "Natsu Dragneel…and Gray Fullbuster. Or…the Dragon and the Iceman."

"Fine, I'll watch out," Juvia assured him, trying to insinuate with her tone that she wanted this conversation over with.

But Porla sensed her tension. However, instead of punishing her for it, he went with the "loosen up" approach. "Come on, Juvia, babe. Of my four top assassins, you're my best, baby." He tried to slide his hand over hers, his fingers crawling like a spider over her skin. "The Siren…she-demon of the sea…."

It took everything in Juvia not to snatch her hand away. She hadn't had to give herself up to him yet, and every day she prayed she could keep things that way until she could find her opening and cut and run from this life.

Just when she thought she could get away without him hurting her for a change, he suddenly increased the pressure of his hand on her arm, gripping her in a vise-like grasp, his hand now like a claw.

"Just remember," he growled, leaning in closer, "when I found you in that rat's nest, parents dead and you starving and not far behind, I got you out. You owe me your life."

Juvia picked up his hot breath on the air, he was that close. She cringed inwardly, but stood her ground and managed a smile that didn't feel as forced as she knew it really was.

"And I'd say, considering how you botched things with…Redfox…I was a paragon of forgiveness. Because to be honest, babe, I'm a little sweet on ya." Porla leered at her again.

 _Gajeel_ , Juvia thought forlornly, though she kept the emotion hidden, as easily as she did with everything else. Just the same, after she'd let Gajeel Redfox go even though Porla had ordered her to kill him, she'd sworn to herself that she'd never let her heart get in the way of her head again. Because next time she knew she wouldn't be so lucky. And as much as Porla liked to tell her he was "sweet on her", he'd have no qualms about killing her. He'd had no qualms about ordering a hit on Gajeel, after all.

 _Just look out for yourself. You can't afford to stick out your neck, if you want to live._

One day though…she prayed for it…that day when she could finally have a life where she could afford to live with more integrity of character.

When it got right down to it, she absolutely hated the person she'd become. She'd always told herself that she wouldn't let the bad things that had happened to her turn her into a bad person. But she'd been wrong about that.

Porla finally withdrew his grip on her, and Juvia relaxed, though not noticeably as the waitress returned with their dinners, and even with her lack of an appetite, Juvia swallowed her food with the same determination with which she swallowed her pride. And very slowly, she grew numb to her fears and her doubts and her self-loathing, and once again became the cold, passionless, unmerciful killer that Porla had bred her into.

The murderess who could kill with a smile before killing with a stab in the back.

* * *

Juvia set out the next day from the Phantom Lord's compound in one of the Lamborghinis. While it didn't make up for much, it was still pretty cool that she could have her choice of all of the fine cars that Porla and the Phantom Lord had in their lot, and take it out when she went in pursuit of a target for assassination.

She hot-rodded it down the serpentine road that cut through the forest before reaching the city, blue eyes hidden behind a pair of $500 sunglasses, her svelte blue dress hugging her curves as expertly as she hugged the curves of the road in the blue Lamborghini. And despite what most would say, she managed effortlessly to operate the foot pedals in her high stiletto pumps.

She revved the engine, reveling once more in another respite, a taste of the freedom she longed for, if a false freedom, an illusion, a dream.

But then reality set in, though not in the way it normally did.

Instead, her "check engine" light flashed at her, and not long after that, when she got to the outskirts of the city where the flats were, the once-purring engine now choked at her, gasping as it struggled to keep up with the gear Juvia had it in.

"Are you kidding me?!" Then Juvia yelped as the car suddenly slowed, staggering like someone with a limp. At that point, her best bet was to try to get as far as she could, and at the first service station she came across, she'd have to pull in, even if they didn't look like they'd know the first thing about how to deal with a Lamborghini engine. Because, truth be told, she actually did know a thing or two about engines. She wished she could learn more though.

It felt like forever though before she came across what looked even remotely like a service station, some place called _Happy's Car Service_. And by that time, she felt like she was dragging herself along the curb, her flashers going, muttering under her breath how Porla's mechanic could be such an idiot.

"Damn it."

Turning the wheel and managing to crawl her way to the curb, Juvia just barely pulled into the lot of the service station and parked.

The place was pretty run down, she noted, as she stepped out of her Lamborghini and lowered her shades. But there was something she liked about it. It wasn't sleek like any of the car dealers she'd been in before when Porla would drag her along on a whim, or for security, but the lack of glitz gave her this sense that this was a place Porla couldn't reach her, even if this was exactly the kind of place where Porla himself had actually started out. Not a service station, but a grease pit of another kind, one where he'd have fallen into the darkness with his brethren if he hadn't made the decisions that he did, ruthless as they were, to get him to the top of Phantom Lord.

In any case, she was desperate if she wanted to get anywhere with this car.

She shut the front door with her hip and sashayed over the gravel lot to the front door to the service garage.

* * *

It was a pretty quiet day in the shop for _Happy's Car Service_. But then, _Happy's_ was a pretty smalltime business. While the radio was on in the office, sitting on the desk covered in paperwork, Gray Fullbuster and Natsu Dragneel, the only two who worked the place, were in the middle of tinkering with the next car that was on their docket for fixing—a yellow '72 Chevy Vega—both of them in ratty jeans and muscle shirts that did in fact show off how impressively toned they both were in the abs, arms, and chest (something that Natsu's girlfriend Lucy Heartfilia had no problem expressing her appreciation for).

And then around his neck, Gray also had a silver sword cross set with a blue gem that hung by a silver chain. The only thing he'd gotten from his dad when he'd died, aside from his gun—Silver Fullbuster's silver desert eagle, the grip engraved with crosses on either side. He'd made a vow of vengeance on that gun, and now it sat quietly and unassumingly with Natsu's Beretta 92FS in the drawer of the desk in the office.

While Natsu was halfway in the hood fiddling with the engine, Gray was in the driver's seat in charge of trying to get the ignition started every time Natsu told him to try turning the key again.

But all it did was cough over and over, sputtering toward a start that would never be because the engine refused to turn over even after all they're work on it.

"Jeez!" Gray banged the steering wheel. "Come on, Natsu!"

Natsu emerged from the depths of the engine and poked his head around the uplifted hood, waving a wrench at his partner. "Hey, I'm doin' the best I can here!" he snapped. "There's something jammed in here!"

"Well you're doin' a crap job findin' whatever it is!" Gray snapped back, leaning out of the window and shaking his fist like he was a pissed off driver on the road.

The two of them glared at each other before they both sniggered and broke out into a burst of laughter.

"You S.O.B.!" Natsu jibed.

"You're one to talk!" Gray jibed back.

"Okay!" Natsu dove back into the engine with renewed vigor.

Gray was still laughing when the front door to the service station opened, and everything stopped at the sight of the person who walked in.

She was a knockout. There was no other word for it. His heart stopped, and then started pounding at the very curvaceous and buxom woman in the tight blue dress with the flouncy short skirt, striding over the threshold in blue stiletto pumps. She had a pair of very expensive-looking sunglasses perched atop of her head, and her hair was long, and thick, and a beautiful dark blue that fell gracefully like water about her shoulders and back. From one hand dangled a chic handbag with a chain strap, which she swung with an entrancing abandon.

"Gray?" Natsu called. "You wanna try that key again?" When Gray didn't answer, he emerged from the engine again. "Gray?"

"Hey guys," called the woman. "Would either of you be able to help me out with my car?" she asked. She wasn't acting sultry, but even so, something about her voice made played divinely on Gray's eardrums.

Natsu glanced between Gray and the woman, and then he waved a hand in front of Gray's face. At which point Gray just leaned over so he could see around his friend's hand. Which made Natsu laugh and stand up to turn to the woman, since Gray had apparently lost the power of human speech all of a sudden.

"Yeah, we can take a look," said Natsu, tossing aside the wrench on the nearby work table and then grabbing a rag and cleaning the grease off of his hands.

Realizing Natsu was about to shake the woman's very elegant-looking hand, Gray leapt out of the car, grabbed a rag of his own and cleaned up his own hands, before jogging around Natsu so he could beat him to the punch.

He held out his hand for the woman to take instead. "We'd be more than happy to take a look, ma'am," he said, trying not to sound too eager.

But then his and the woman's ocean-blue eyes met and something warm opened up in his chest. And he was suddenly made aware of how clammy his palms were as the woman took the hand he offered her and shook it.

Better still (or worse, maybe), she smiled at him, as though amused.

"Why thank you," she said pleasantly, and then she seemed to hesitate for a moment as she looked at him, and Gray felt he should say something back, but his mind was drawing a blank. All he could think about was how beautiful this young woman was.

Like he'd never seen a beautiful woman before.

Which he had.

"'S'it parked out front?" Natsu asked, breaking the silence. But his grin was mischievous, and Gray flashed him a slightly annoyed look.

But he still couldn't seem to find his voice again.

"Ah…yeah," said the woman, who actually seemed a little short on words herself, which Gray took rather sympathetic note of. "Here, I'll um, show you," she finally said, clearing her throat and letting go of Gray's hand, turning away.

It didn't help that now Gray had a good view of her from behind as she waltzed back over to the door.

Then Gray got shaken out of his trance by the feeling of Natsu reaching over and drawing his finger across the corner of his friend's mouth.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Gray hissed under his breath.

Natsu was clearly holding in his laughter. "Sorry, dude, you were droolin' a little there."

Gray watched him follow the blue-haired woman out the door, shaking his head, before he too followed. Now that he had a moment to actually think about it, he was being ridiculous. This was the way a wolf acted in a Tex Avery cartoon, not how a decent grown man should act. If his dad were alive and could see him now, he'd give him a well-deserved smack upside the head.

He sighed, running a hand through his dark hair, and then he smiled to himself. After all, he'd rather have problems like this, than the problems he used to have, where he'd have to answer everything from the end of a gun. Same for Natsu.

Though of course they still carried.

Because they were days where those problems still came up now and then.

Moreover, he was still waiting for the day he'd finally manage to track down those Deliora fucks and take them out. Kill them dead the way they'd done his parents.

Just the thought though made him shiver against his will.

And Gray Fullbuster was someone who rarely felt cold.

Outside in the hot summer sun, Gray was struck speechless a second time at the sight of the woman's car. Then again, he wasn't exactly surprised, given how refined a woman she seemed to be, which made him wonder for a moment what she was doing at a backwater service station like their operation here, but then he got his answer before he even had to ask.

"I'm guessing my guy didn't bother to get the engine on this bad boy checked," the woman explained, regarding the electric blue Lamborghini Diablo. "So I'm driving down the road thinking everything's fine until it starts dying on me and well…this was the first station I came across, so…." Then she shrugged.

Gray paid particular attention to the words "my guy", and found himself kind of hoping that that didn't mean she had a boyfriend. Not that he was thinking he could make this woman his girlfriend—the moment he saw her, he was well-aware that she was not only drop-dead beautiful, but waaaaaaaaaaaay out of his league. She was definitely the kind of woman who came from a world that concerned itself with the "breeding" of their fellow human beings, like they were thoroughbred horses instead of people.

And he knew he definitely wasn't no thoroughbred.

Natsu whistled meanwhile at the way the sunlight shined on the blue paint of the car in front them. "Well, it may take some digging, but I think we can get her fixed up for ya. What do you think?" he added to Gray.

Gray meanwhile felt his palms sweat again, this time at the idea of popping that hood open and taking a look at that engine. Engines like the ones found in cars like Lamborghinis and Ferraris and the like were supposed to not merely be engines, but works of technological art.

He grinned up at the other two. "Yeah, absolutely."

"You'll be appropriately compensated of course," the woman threw in. "Not just for the car, but for keeping this lowkey."

Gray's smile went slack, and he caught Natsu's eye. He too had suddenly gotten serious, knitting his brow. Then they looked at the woman.

"Lowkey?" they asked.

"Yeah. See I'd rather no one knew I was here," said the woman, looking quite serious herself.

Which gave Gray the impression of a woman who had something to hide. Or rather, was trying to hide _from_ something.

On the run, maybe? From the law?

She might've seemed like a refined and high-bred girl, but she seemed like a nice girl too. Maybe not _the_ nicest, but a nice girl. Certainly not the kind that'd be on the run from the law. From a bad guy, maybe? Maybe by "my guy" she _had_ meant a boyfriend, but one she was trying to get away from.

Well, whatever it was, it wasn't his business to know the details. Though that didn't mean that if someone found her that she didn't want finding her, that he wouldn't do something about it.

He glanced at Natsu again, and he could see in his friend's face that he was going through a similar thought process. They nodded and then turned back to the woman.

"Not a problem," Gray told her.

The woman visibly relaxed as she smiled again. "Good. Thank you."

"So, you said you were on your way into the city when this happened?" Natsu asked.

"That's right," said the woman.

"Well, if it turns out that this'll take more than a day to fix, would it be all right if we made sure you got a ride to somewhere where you could stay until we do get it fixed?" Gray asked.

The woman seemed to consider him again, like earlier, and then her expression softened. The effect was very lovely, Gray had to admit.

Which made him smile rather softly back as she said, "Of course. I'd appreciate that. Thank you."

"All right then," said Natsu clapping his hands together and rubbing his palms against each other. "Could we get a name then?"

"Juvia Lockser," said the woman.

"Great. Juvia Lockser, I'm Natsu Dragneel. And this blockhead here's Gray Fullbuster."

Something flickered in Juvia's eyes, as though she were actually taken aback, but it was so quick and her cool smile was back in a blink that Gray felt he might've just imagined it.

In fact, her smile was, if possible, a bit wider than before, and warmer too. And Gray felt that warmth reach into his chest again.

"Well thank you again, Gray, Natsu. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

She caught Gray's eye, and then seemed surprised again—this time pleasantly so—with the way he was regarding her.

Meanwhile, Natsu took a pencil and a notebook out of the back pocket of his acid-washed jeans and opened it up, asking, "Same here. So, let's talk about cost estimates up front, shall we?"


	2. Penseroso

**Chapter Two**

 **Penseroso**

 _Oh I'm in trouble._

Juvia knew it even before she got Gray Fullbuster's name, though when she did get it, the amount of trouble she was in significantly increased.

Because at first sight, when she saw him come around that klunker he and Natsu Dragneel were working on, something lit up inside her chest, and her heart skipped a beat. She'd always heard about that, the "heart skipping a beat" thing, but of the many men who were her targets whom she'd lure into a false sense of security, even going so far as to bed them, none of them had never made her feel that way. Not that they were ungodly ugly—in fact quite a lot of them were very handsome, and worse still, very nice (though she'd killed them as ordered just the same)—but when she saw Gray Fullbuster, there was just…something.

It was his face, his eyes, his expression that caught her first, swiftly followed by the look of his body underneath that muscle shirt and those jeans when she automatically sized him up. Then she caught the glimmer of the cross hanging around his neck with the blue stone set into it, and…she felt very warm inside. Actually…she'd felt that kind of leap of delight she'd feel when she was younger, and she'd go swimming with her parents when they were alive, the way the water would make her feel.

It had been _ages_ since she'd been able to go swimming, save for one or two times where she was able to grab a few minutes in a hotel pool if she was staying at said hotel while pursuing a target. And like the snatches of time she seized saying she needed to fix her makeup or whatnot, those moments she'd stolen swimming…she'd nearly cried for happiness, which was easily done without giving herself away since she'd already be dripping with water.

She liked the sound of Gray's voice too. It was slightly hoarse, yet it wasn't rough on the ears. And then she caught his rugged scent of leather and cigarettes, and something deep inside her was slowly awakened and aroused.

But then she got his and Natsu's names, and for a moment she faltered.

Just for a moment though.

After that moment, she mastered herself like she always did, and even made her smile warmer. The two of them were none the wiser that she was after the life of someone they knew, someone they would apparently be willing to either protect or avenge without hesitation.

 _Don't forget yourself_ , she told herself sternly.

Even so, if he ended up falling for her, maybe she could get away with killing Dreyar without either he or Dragneel even suspecting her for a moment. Then she'd disappear like she'd never come into their lives.

And she could protect them too.

She had no doubt of Porla's words that these two would kill her if they felt they needed to. She had to take those sorts of things seriously. Her life depended on that. And they both looked fit enough to do it besides. Still, she'd held her own against men who'd threatened her with more than justice. It was bad enough she was going to have to take out another ex-cop who had possession of too many of Jose Porla's secrets. She didn't want to have to take out any more innocent lives than she had to.

Gray was observant however, while she sat in the passenger seat of in his pickup truck and he drove her to the nearest motel where she could stay until the Lamborghini was fixed. Turned out it was indeed going to take another day or two to fix the engine.

He noted how quiet she was.

"Oh, sorry," Juvia said, without really thinking about it.

And then Gray said what she thought next: "What do you have to be sorry about? You don't have to apologize for being quiet." He shrugged and then added, a little more carefully, "I just…wanted to make sure there wasn't something wrong."

"Like I got something heavy on my mind?" Juvia asked, the corner of her mouth curving upward. Oh yes. He was very observant.

"Yeah, I guess," said Gray, sounding casual about it. But she still detected that he was a little concerned. And then, after he turned the steering wheel about so he could round the next corner onto a road lined with strip malls on the way closer to the city, he confessed: "Look, I _am_ sorry we can't get the car fixed faster, but—"

"Don't worry about it," Juvia reassured him gently. "This wouldn't be my first time in a motel on the road."

Which made Gray raise his eyebrows at her, as though surprised.

Suddenly Juvia realized what her words implied and she actually laughed.

 _Phrasing, Juvia, jeez._

"Oh ho! No…not that," she clarified aloud. "I'm not like that."

"Oh…." Gray laughed too, and while it was the light, almost meek laugh of someone who didn't laugh all that often, there was a heart to it that Juvia couldn't help warming to.

"I uh…travel sometimes, in my work," she explained. Not a lie, not really. She just omitted what _kind_ of work.

"What kinda work is that?" Gray asked, as if echoing her thoughts. He sounded keenly and genuinely interested however, which was nice, which made it all the more a shame that Juvia would have to lie to him about it.

She fished through her personal library of skills, and she decided to go with a story where she could utilize her capabilities as a jazz singer—she'd started learning some years back, since it'd be useful to learn the sorts of skills that could get her into convincible undercover roles working at places like bars and clubs aside from just your standard waitress.

Her thought was that it could work here, considering this Fairy Tail Bar was where Dreyar, Dragneel, and Fullbuster and all their buds seemed to hang out.

Actually, from a certain point of view, she was sort of telling the truth.

"I'm a jazz singer," she said, words delivered with flawless an convincing execution.

Gray appeared further intrigued by this. "Jazz singer, huh?" Then he seemed to think on that for a moment and asked, "Well, there's this bar that me and Natsu hang out at with the rest of our friends and…I dunno…maybe you could come by and sing a set or two? We could use another singing talent. I mean, there's Mirajane, but she _owns_ the bar so it's kind of a given that she's on the um…bill. And uh…there're her little brother and sister, they uh…do some stand up…or _try_ to…he, he…." Then he cleared his throat in a rather apologetic way. "Um…and I mean, you'd get paid, of course. I mean…it'd be a professional gig. Totally legit. And all that…. Least I could see about it…."

Juvia's mouth spread into a demure grin, unable to help being amused with the way the guy was suddenly fumbling with his words. So, she let herself feel a fleeting moment of pity for him and said, "Sure. Thank you. Yes. I'd like that."

Then Gray blinked at her, as if surprised that she'd actually said yes, or maybe it just hit him what he'd asked her. Then he laughed, this time more quietly.

"All right then," he said. "Feel free to come by any time. What's your number? I'll text you the address."

In not the brightest of moves, Gray entered in the number Juvia gave him into his phone with his thumb at the next red light. He was quick though, and shot off the text with the address to Fairy Tail Bar in it before the light changed to green.

Of course, Juvia didn't _need_ the address. But Gray didn't know that.

She took a moment after she thanked him for the address to breathe in and empty herself of feelings that were starting to get tangled up inside her.

"Here we are." Gray pulled into the lot of a small motel at the end of the strip, and it looked to be a decent one.

Not that Juvia had been expecting a dilapidated heap, but still, she appreciated how Gray and Natsu were doing their best as far as treating her as their customer went.

"Thank you again," she said, being sweet as could be. She opened up her door, grabbed her handbag and stepped out.

"It's not all that nice." Gray was massaging the back of his neck.

Juvia paused in shutting the door. "Hey, I'm not expecting the Ritz, you know. This looks perfectly lovely."

"I know but…um…anyway, um…hey, Juvia?"

"Yes, Gray?"

Gray quit massaging the back of his neck and looked up at her.

Juvia's heart skipped a beat again when their eyes met.

"Are you…?" Gray's voice tailed away and then he shook his head and restarted the ignition. "Never mind."

It was Juvia's turn to be taken aback, mostly at the sudden cold brusqueness of his tone, but she said she'd see him around, and he replied with the same, and then she shut the door. After she grabbed her travel bag from the back of the truck, taking note of the Remington slide-action shotgun in the back, she stood there and watched him turn around and drive away down the road.

* * *

Juvia stared at the case of weapons she'd taken out of her travel bag and placed on the bed in her hotel room. She had the TV turned on to a news channel, just for background noise.

The original plan had been to just find the Fairy Tail Bar, scope out for a good sniping perch, nest there, and then lie in wait until she had her target in sight on the street outside the bar and—

Take the shot.

Done.

Now she was rethinking things, what with the car breaking down on her unexpectedly. Steering toward insinuating herself as a traveling jazz singer had been about her best moment of thinking on her feet that she'd had in a long time.

Not that she'd been displaying a decline in her abilities, far from it, if anything Porla was more pleased with her work and her results now more than ever. And meanwhile with every kill she knew she was losing a little bit more of her own soul.

Bora had been her first hit.

She had played her part well. So well, that after she'd made her kill and executed her exit, she'd felt rather proud of herself, in a small way. Not of the fact that she'd had to take a person's life, the weight of that crushed her soon after…but at the time, in the moment, when she'd had him eating out of the palm of her hand on the disco dancefloor of the club she'd brought them to, she'd felt so free, so self-assured. Pouring him drink after drink after drink, and managing to have a few for herself and still keep her head clear. Turned out she could hold her liquor too.

And then out to the back alley on the pretense of letting him have his way with her, and right when he had her up against the brick wall, and he pressed close to her body so he could neck her, she'd lifted one leg and wrapped it around him, playing it as a gesture of sexual invitation when in fact she was reaching underneath her dress where the skirt was slit to slide her new Sapphire (a "gift" from Porla, as he called it) out of its thigh holster, and just when he realized she had a gun to his chest, pulled the trigger.

Bang.

Dead.

It was after such a well-played performance then that Porla had decided she should pick up some performance skills of varying sorts. And learning to sing jazz had been one of those sorts.

 _Okay, that's enough. Time to work._

She reached down and moved her fingers delicately over the edges of the case until they found the clasps. She undid them and popped the case open, revealing her small arsenal set in the foam lining.

The VSS Vintorez sniper rifle with its tripod next to it, a couple of different scopes, and a Steyr AUG assault rifle she sometimes used for a sidearm in the event of a no-holds-barred shootout (and she'd been in rather a few of those, real firefights those). Cases, cartridges, clips. Ammunition for days.

While the TV went blithering on and on, Juvia got started checking her weapons. She took out the sniper first and checked the mechanics, made sure there wasn't any possibility of the thing jamming on her, and then she checked the scopes, made sure the sight wasn't off. Then she looked over the assault rifle, and then looked over the ammo. She checked the clip in her Sapphire and reloaded it, snapped it back in, made sure the slide on it still drew back and sprang forward quick and easy. She drilled herself on reloading and aiming, always trying to reach for a faster time.

On a call she reported in to Porla about her current status, since she had, for the moment, set up a base of operations. She let him know about what happened to the car and how that led her to come in contact with Gray Fullbuster and Natsu Dragneel.

"Fullbuster invited me to come sing jazz at the Fairy Tail Bar, actually." Juvia set the phone to hands-free as she went about unzipping her dress at the back. "So, I accepted, though of course I didn't come off as too eager. I'm in. Smooth as silk."

"Well, done, sweetheart." Porla's voice had that pleasured growl to it that told her he was helping himself to his cut of the product after a long day of trafficking the stuff. Usually he'd have Sol, Totomaru, Aria, and Juvia, as well as Gajeel too (when he'd been there). Or whoever was there if anyone else was out on a hit. And they'd share a snifter of port or brandy or whiskey and pass around the very exquisite snuff box and take turns snorting lines of coke.

At least, that's how it used to be.

Then Gajeel had been like the first one at the party to sober up and see the state of everyone else who was still high in the sky. Honestly he wasn't all that fond of Totomaru, Sol, or Aria, but Juvia he'd always had a soft spot for—they'd both been dragged into Porla's operation on the same day. Porla had even introduced them like one would adopted siblings. And since then, Gajeel had developed a habit of looking out for Juvia when he could, and one night, when Juvia was suffering a really bad comedown, at which point Gajeel had taken her to his room in the mansion and taken care of her.

And when she'd come back to herself more, he'd told her, "No more, Rain Woman," using the nickname he'd given her on the first day they met—it had been raining that day, and the first time he had seen her she appeared out of a veil of that rain with Porla behind her, and something about her had given the young Gajeel the chilling sense that it was _she_ who had brought the rain. So the sobriquet stuck.

From then on, Juvia and Gajeel sat out the snort sessions. When questioned about it, Juvia made it seem like it was doing horrors to her complexion (which it was aside from everything else, but that was the only thing that Porla was going to care about), and Gajeel had just muttered something about being sick of getting nosebleeds so easy.

Anyway, it wasn't long after that that he'd turned full on Porla and had to make a run for it, after which Juvia had been sent to kill him. And after everything he had done for her, Juvia couldn't. Instead, she let him go.

But she told herself, _Never again_. Never again would she let her heart get so much ahead of her that she'd be ordered to do something like take the life of someone she'd managed to care about.

In the background, Juvia could hear Sol and Totomaru, guessing Aria was out on a hit of his own. But they were definitely at it, passing the snuff box and snorting that shit up their noses. In Porla's case in particular, at times it had made him so wired that it awakened a layer of mania that daylight managed to help him keep hidden. It was on one of those occasions that he'd gotten into one of his violent episodes and beat Juvia so bad that they'd actually had to call in the on-site doctor—a spineless but brilliant physician kept comfortable with money and quiet with fear.

Sometimes Juvia still felt a throb, a whisper of the pain of her dislocated right shoulder from that day. It was a wonder she could still aim a gun and shoot as well as she ever did.

Then there was another night like that, but that time…Gajeel had been there to step in.

Juvia rubbed that spot on her shoulder now as she let her dress slide off of her curvaceous body, while Porla went on about what a wonderful woman she was.

"I know, I _am_ oh-so wonderful," she said, but Porla didn't hear the sarcasm.

"Even when things get tough, you know how to turn a situation in your favor," Porla told her, a purr underneath his voice. "You are something else, my dear Siren."

On an impulse, Juvia clutched at her throat. That was the reason Porla called her the Siren, after all. When she'd started incorporating her skills with a singing voice into her work, he'd likened her to one of those she-demons of Greek myth, the ones who led sailors to their deaths with their angelic voices.

Then she put that aside and thanked her boss, told him he was too kind, while she hooked her thumbs in her underwear and slid that off next. As she did, she paused at the scar on the outside of her left-hand thigh—another job where she'd tried to pull the same thing that she'd done with Porla, but that one had been a little more prepared, and realized that something was up while he could still do something about it: as she'd lifted her leg he'd whipped out a knife and stabbed her with the blade…she got him in the end though after a little extra fight and struggle.

Juvia Lockser _always_ got her target.

* * *

Gray had been with women before. Women who were fun, women who showed him a good—sometimes even a great—time in bed.

What was that last gal's name, who'd drifted in from down south? _Daphne_ , that was her name. She'd had this cowgirl kink that had been kinda fun, though she couldn't get Gray to do anything like role play. Even so, they'd had fun. Like most women too, she'd been rather impressed at his silver Desert Eagle, as like most women he took to bed, they were strangers to the kind of world Gray had come come from.

And then she was gone and that was that, just like all the others.

He'd always made it a point to the women who wanted to sleep with him that that was all he was in for—just one night, and then one of them gone by morning depending on where they ended up, either his place or somewhere else. And he'd done a good job of making sure that women he either took home or he went home with were willing participants in such an arrangement.

Whenever he came across a woman who was signaling to him that they were hoping for something more, he'd stop it before it got too far, before he let it get to a point where he'd have to just break her heart later. Though he'd usually try to then steer her in the direction of a man who looked more willing to get with a woman who wanted a real relationship. And then he'd move on, and of course eventually he'd find a woman who was no more interested in anything more than a one-night-stand than he.

But those were empty nights, outmatched in emptiness only by the nights he spent alone, where he hungered for more.

Juvia made him remember that hunger. There had been something about her that had just spoken to some deep part inside of him. Like sunlight hitting ice.

At the same time though, he couldn't let himself take that step into something more. He had to treat this the same as any other woman who wanted something more—well, except this time, it was _he_ who was finding himself wanting more.

 _Everyone close to you just ends up dead._

And there he was, as she was getting out of his truck, about to ask her if she might be interested in…he didn't even know. But he'd been letting his feelings think for him rather than his head in that moment, clouded as they were.

He resolved then, next time, to be a little colder to her if she started to warm to him or something like that, as he slid on his shoulder holster supplied with mags, and then a shirt patterned in palm trees, but left it unbuttoned (as was his style).

"Yo, Gray, you comin'?" Natsu called as he locked up the one computer they had for running all the financial side of things for the shop.

"Yeah, yeah." Gray came into the office from the break room and went over to the desk and collected the folders full of different customers' paperwork. He was about to shove them all in the file drawer when he caught sight of the name printed on the tab of the top folder.

 _Lockser, Juvia._

And he smiled a little. She certainly was something. Even if there was no way they could ever be close like he had a feeling he might want to try, he still liked the idea that she could be friends with his friends. That she could come work at the Fairy Tail Bar as a jazz singer and fall in with the rest of the little family they'd formed there.

He just hoped he could hold himself together if his heart started getting ahead of him.

Then again, there was also a very tiny and devilish part of him deep down that wanted to point out that maybe she'd turn out to be just like all the other women who'd only want him for a night and that was it.

Problem was, if that happened, he wasn't sure how they could stay friends. None of the other one-night stands had been anyone who was someone he already knew, who was supposed to be a friend, whoever stuck around as a regular. They were always just drifting through town, on their way to bigger and better things.

With a sigh he snapped out of his thoughts before they turned morose (as they were wont to do when let himself grow too pensive) and shoved the folders in the file.

Natsu got up from the chair in front of the now-locked computer and stretched. "All right, let's get this party started!" He swiped his own shirt from the back of the chair and threw it on. He'd already strapped on his shoulder holster.

Gray pulled open the drawer with his and Natsu's respective pistols and took out his own. He checked the clip inside the silver Desert Eagle to make sure it was still full before he stuck it in his own shoulder holster underneath his open shirt. Natsu did the same with his gun.

"Been awful quiet, y'know," Natsu mused aloud.

"Eh?" Gray grabbed his pack of cigarettes and his lighter and stuffed them in the front pocket of his unbuttoned shirt.

"Just thinkin'," said Natsu, swiping his own smokes from the desk. "I mean…it's a good thing right? That there's been six months now without a shootout around here? No trouble?"

Gray raised his eyebrows at him. "You sayin' you _want_ a shootout? Cuz I'm happy to go, man."

"Shut up," said Natsu, aware that Gray was joking.

The two of them might've butt heads occasionally, but they'd never had cause to turn their guns on each other.

Gray hoped it would stay that way.

There had been another person in his life who he'd thought he'd never have to turn his gun on, and he'd been sorely wrong in the end.

"Natsu, it's fine," he said as the two of them headed out of the office, he reaching around Natsu's back to flip the light switch off. Then as Natsu went and shut and locked the door behind them, he added, "We got guns if things _do_ get bad again, but I'd rather things got to a point where we didn't have to use 'em at all anymore. 'Cept maybe for stress relief at the shooting range."

"Ha!" Natsu gave the locked door a good tug before the turned and clapped Gray on the shoulder. "Well, I guess as long as you and I are here, things'll be fine no matter what. We did a pretty good job, picking up Scarlet's slack. 'Specially those punks from Lullaby. Jeez, what the hell kinda gang name's Lullaby, anyway?"

"Oh come on now," said Gray, a little teasingly. "Don't call it slack. She was taking advantage of the fact that our hands aren't tied by fuckin' protocol like hers are. And don't get me wrong, she's the woman for the job, and she bends the rules where she can—"

"Right, but without us, she'd never get a moment's peace from work."

"Nah, I won't argue with that."

Out front Gray pulled down the garage door and locked it. That was the last thing on their close list. Well, actually, the last thing was that after that, there was their ritual of having a smoke in front of the shop before heading down to Fairy Tail.

"So…." Natsu raised his eyebrows in _that_ way of his.

"Don't even ask, Pink Head," said Gray, though Natsu actually managed to wear his pink hair with no small amount of manliness. Not that pink _couldn't_ be a man's color.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? It wasn't like I was gonna say, 'So, you ask that Juvia chick out, or what?' Oh, guess I just did."

"Okay, so I _did_ ask if she wanted to come to Fairy Tail and try for singing jazz during a couple slots, but that's _it_."

"Yeah, and you totally didn't have any hidden motives behind that…you sly S.O.B.." Natsu raised his eyebrows again, taking a drag on his cigarette.

Gray pointed at him with his cigarette between his fingers. "You…are an ass. Now let's get this straight: I'm not interested in any woman that way. Never have been, never will be."

Natsu huffed and flicked ash onto the gravelly ground. "Look, man, I know how you roll. You run into a girl who's passing through at the bar, she's only there for one night, she's interested in only one night with _you_ , and you give her that, feed her Poptarts in the morning or drink the coffee she makes you and then she goes on her merry fucking way and you act like nothing happened."

"Yeah, and I'd like to keep it that way." Gray took a really deep drag on his cigarette and then snorted out a thick stream of smoke. "Got that?"

"Yeah, I get it." Natsu finished his cigarette and then dropped it to the ground and crushed it underfoot. "I don't think it makes you happy though. I mean…if you were just a man-whore, I'd leave it alone, but…you work hard to make sure that the ladies you screw around with really and truly don't want anything more than one night with you. Like you are so damn careful that you're not breaking any hearts while you get off."

Gray laughed, but he knew it was hollow. "Why shouldn't I be happy though? I get to fuck without all the complicatedness of an actual relationship."

Natsu frowned at him, like he didn't buy it. Like he knew that there were times that Gray would glance at him and Lucy and how happy they were together and feel just an icy flash of envy.

Thankfully though, he knew how stubborn Gray could be and he backed off.

"Whatever man. We'd better jet."

"Yeah. Fine."

Gray finished his cigarette too then and ground it into the gravel with his boot.

Then they hopped into Gray's truck and headed down the road to Fairy Tail.

* * *

The bar was quiet when they got there. But then, they were the first to arrive for the night that was to come, and Mirajane Strauss was just opening shop now that twilight was imminent, the dying rays of the sun filtering through the red, green, blue, and clear class in the intricately patterned mullioned windows.

"Heya!" Mirajane called, waving from behind the bar.

This was a new bar, actually, high quality polished wood imported from Britain. She was very proud of it, and she made anyone who nicked it apologize to it. Now, in the orange glow of early evening, it blazed bright maple, the shelves full of colorful glass bottles of beer, wine, liquor, and spirits of all shapes and sizes winking, glistering.

Towards the back on the little stage, Mirajane's little sister Lisanna was checking the mike, while her little brother Elfman made short work of taking the chairs and stools off the tables. The pool table still hadn't had its plastic sheet taken off yet. But the lights were bathing the place in their warm, sleepy glow, their softness inviting people to relax, have a drink, and forget how harsh and cruel the world outside could be.

And over the bar, there was a little sign that said, "Fairy Tail," with a painted wood cutout of a green-haired fairy in a coquettish green dress.

 _"Her name's Absinthe," said Mirajane, grinning._

 _"Absinthe? What the hell kinda name is that?" Gray laughed without thinking._

 _He realized his mistake too late as Mirajane took it personally and sniffled like she were crying._

 _"I thought it'd be cute," she whimpered. "Because a nickname for absinthe's 'green fairy'…it was a Bohemian thing…or something like that…!"_

 _"Mira, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that!" Gray apologized hastily, holding up his hands with sincere contrition._

Of course Mirajane knew he didn't mean anything by it and she easily forgave him.

Gray found himself smiling as he remembered that.

"So, what's on tap tonight, Mira?" asked Natsu, taking a seat at the bar.

Mirajane snapped the dishcloth that was in her hand and put that hand on her hip, leaning against the bar. "I've got something new in…it's this new brand that's infusing fruit with beer. This one's Strawberry Amber."

Gray slid in next to Natsu and the two of them looked at each other.

"Strawberry Amber?" they both asked.

"I'll take some of that!"

Everyone looked round at the door to see who'd just come in and caught that last bit of their conversation.

"ERZA!" everyone cheered—all five of them so far, anyway.

"Hey guys!" Chief Erza Scarlet of the seventh precinct came up between Gray and Natsu and clapped them on the shoulders. "First round's on me tonight!" She was beaming, blushing like she was already three sheets to the wind. Then she went around and set her purse on the bar, took out the ties that were holding her red hair up in a bun out so that those gorgeous locks fell and caught the sun like fire (her boyfriend, Sargent Jellal Fernandes, discharged with honors, like to tell her it made him think of marmalade at sunrise), and then she slid off her suit jacket and laid it over a barstool.

"Oh? What's the occasion?" Natsu asked.

"Jellal! He's being released from the hospital tomorrow!"

"Seriously? Erza, that's fantastic!" And it was a sign of how close they all were really were that Gray was able to just throw an arm around Erza's shoulders in a one-armed hug. And then after he let go, Natsu gave her a full-on bear hug. From the first day they'd met, Erza had basically unofficially adopted the two of them as her little brothers, as well as her secret weapons when the rules needed breaking to get a job done.

"It's like we said, Erza, guy's gonna pull through," said Natsu when he pulled back, grinning.

But Gray could tell that Erza was putting so much effort in being cheerful about this because she needed to protect herself from her doubts. This wasn't the first time Jellal had gone in for intensive treatment for the PTSD he'd suffered after he came home from his tour of service with the marines. So this wasn't the first time he'd been released with the hope that he and Erza would both be able to make it work.

At the same time though, he admired Erza's tenacity. No matter what, even if in the end he was going to have go through this revolving door dance for the rest of his life, she would always be there on the other side, waiting for him. Her voice had cracked when she once admitted that Jellal had told her with moving sincerity that it was her visits to him when he was in the hospital that encouraged him to work hard on getting better. He was trying so hard for her, and in the end, that would be more than enough for the both of them, knowing that the other was still going to be there.

He felt that pang in his chest again, that desire for something more. Something like what Erza and Jellal had, and—

And then Lucy Heartfilia showed up, along with Levy McGarden, both of them wearing cute tank tops and mini-skirts and platform shoes. Levy had a new headscarf on in her periwinkle hair, and Lucy had her hair up in one of her high ponytails with a scrunchie and, dangling from her ears, glittering, hot-pink, heart-shaped earrings.

"Natsu!" she squealed, dashing over to the bar, Levy laughing after her.

Natsu caught Lucy to him and swung her around, both of them beaming. When they pulled back, Lucy leaned up on her tip-toes towards Natsu's waiting lips.

Gray averted his eyes, but he still caught sight of Lucy's feet, snug in those platforms, and the way one of them lifted into the air behind her.

"PDA Alert!" Levy teased.

And when Gray looked up, Natsu and Lucy were just breaking apart.

"Very funny, Levy," Natsu groused while Erza laughed out loud.

But then Natsu slid his arm around Lucy's waist and the two of them very casually enjoyed their closeness to each other as they chatted with Gray and Erza and Levy and all their other friends as they all trailed in one after another, ready for another night at the Fairy Tail Bar.

By six the place was packed.

Makarov Dreyar, ex-chief of police at the seventh precinct and Erza's mentor, was there of course, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and happily getting drunk on behalf of Erza and her good news about Jellal. And then naturally he meandered into old stories—some already told thousands of times and some not yet told until now—about the old days from when he'd started a young rookie beat cop.

His grandson Laxus was there too, a little more reined in, as he was more or less his grandfather's designated driver, then again that was basically based on two things, that he was blood, and that he'd be the less drunk of the two by the end of the night. Able to still see straight anyway while he half-carried a drunkily singing Makarov out to the car.

Levy's two buds from college, Jet and Droy, were putting on a sort of trivia match just to show off how smart they all were, and as usual, Levy showed them both up. Then again, she was the best defense attorney that had come around, and she was starting to turn the legal system around to curb the disadvantages the less fortunate had when it came to dealing with the law, and Gray and Natsu along with the rest of Fairy Tail couldn't be prouder of her for it.

Meanwhile, Macao and Enno, both buddies since they served in Vietnam, were smoking cigars and trying hard not to be creepy while they tried to flirt with a group of women who were their way to D.C. for a protest of some sort. Unfortunately neither of them were anything close to a Hugh Heffner.

Max and his crew were playing pool, Alzack and Bisca were gushing over their six-year old daughter Asuka's stellar grades in school, Evergreen was there with her friends Bickslow and Freed laughing it up before they'd crawl over to the local gay club later (at Freed's request of course), and then Lisanna and Elfman tried to do their standup, and somehow even though their jokes weren't conventionally funny, everyone laughed out of genuine amusement born of genuine affection.

Then Mirajane sang a set while Lisanna and Elfman took over pouring the drinks and ringing people out, opening and closing tabs. By now, things had mellowed out from the rowdiness of before, and all the while, Gray and Natsu had been at the bar, sharing laughs and stories with Erza and Lucy (both of whom at one point had gotten up on the bar and table-danced when "Shots" came on over the speakers), and then, now that it was quiet, and everyone was listening to Mirjane doing a beautiful cover of a Nora Jones' "Turn Me On", Gray, who had two beers, two scotches, that Strawberry Amber (which had been really good actually), and a few vodka shots in his system, was now nursing a glass of cheap brandy, and as he did, his mind fell back into thoughts of Juvia Lockser the way he might fall back into the world's most comfortable bed.

He sighed and tried to push them back, swirling his glass.

He noticed Natsu watching him, as if he could sense the melancholy that had fallen over him. And suddenly he felt smothered. He loved all the people in this room. Everyone here considered themselves a part of one large family, after all. But there were times when he considered breaking away and going back to going it alone, like he had for a while before stumbling into this town.

If someone who was gunning for him found him here, someone he knew here might get hurt because of it, and he had enough blood on his hands of all sorts to last him a thousand lifetimes.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of a dark-hair girl with a white ribbon in her hair wink at him flirtatiously, and Gray felt sick in his stomach instead of turned on.

 _Not tonight._

Decisively, he knocked back the rest of his drink and then got up from the bar. He caught Natsu's eye again and shook his head, knowing he was asking without words if he wanted company, well aware that the guy was heading out back for a smoke.

The night air was warm, but not too warm. It was perfect, and freeing for a guy who needed a quiet minute to himself. He lit up a cigarette and sipped on it, thinking about things he regretted, things that even alcohol couldn't make him forget. Dark things.

And then they turned back to Juvia, and he had to shake himself out of it. She was the kind of girl who didn't deserve to be dragged into his world of demonic shadows. She wasn't the first woman he'd been struck by like this, and she wouldn't be the last. But there would never be a woman he could love the way she deserved. The hearts he let in either ended up broken or they stopped beating altogether. He would see couples like Natsu and Lucy, and Erza and Jellal, and even Evergreen and Elfman, and knew he had to seal himself off from the kind of hope that having something like that brought.

 _You can't have that_ , Gray chided himself as he finished his cigarette and flung it to the pavement. _You just can't._

And he got a good reminder, as if the universe were trying to make for damn sure that he was going to listen to that advice to himself, right when he was finishing off his cigarette and twisting the smoldering end of it into the pavement underneath the toe of his boot, and immediately heard the click of the hammer on a gun as it was cocked behind him, followed by the nose of it pressed into the middle of his back.

Gray froze.

"There you are, you piece of shit."

The voice was one Gray hadn't heard in years, but he'd heard it floating around in his recollections since the last time he had and could hardly forget it.

The corner of his mouth curved upward.

"Hey there…Lyon."


	3. Con Dolore

**Chapter Three**

 **Con Dolore**

"So here's where you've been hiding."

Gray turned his head just enough so he could see the man behind him. "Didn't realize Lamia Scale had gotten ballsy enough to tango with Phantom Lord—pretty sure they're the ones who run the drugs around here."

Lyon Vastia, his hair still that same shock of white, with that almost rodential look of hunger in his watery eyes that Gray hadn't realized had always been there until it was too late, and wearing that black leather jacket of his, with a white shirt and a pair of jeans, pushed the barrel of his gun into Gray's back again. "Shut the hell up. And don't you give me that look either. This isn't Lamia Scale business, this is personal." He spat. "So this is where you've been hiding, you fuck."

"I've just been tryin' to move on with my life," said Gray, but he turned his face away. "I was hoping you'd learn to do the same, 'stead a fallin' in with drug pushers."

"That's rich coming from you," Lyon growled. "Wouldna had to if it wasn't for _you_."

"Hey, I was in the same boat as you…but I made a livin' doin' what I was _trained_ to do."

"Yeah? And now what're ya doin'? Rotting away in some bar fixin' people's cars? Bet that's exciting."

"You been workin' out? You look more built than I remember."

"I think you've forgotten who was the one who always beat you at hand-to-hand."

"Actually, I think _you've_ forgotten."

"You know, we didn't _have_ to scrape your sorry ass off the pavement when we found you half-dead, but Ur insisted. Then again, she was always a little too soft."

Gray grit his teeth, losing his play-nice smile. "Watch it, you wise-ass."

"I'm not the one who's got a gun to his back," Lyon pointed out, and Gray could sense him with his finger on the trigger, itching to squeeze.

 _Just keep him talking_ , Gray told himself, while his adrenaline ran high, trying to ready him for the right moment to disarm Lyon and then pull his own gun on the bastard.

"How'd you find me?" he asked, knowing that the key was to give Lyon's ego a little stroke.

"Easy."

There was a pause and then a photograph was tossed over from behind him, where it landed on the asphalt, the photo of himself staring back up at him from the ground, hanging out in front of Fairy Tail with Natsu and Lucy and a pack of cigarettes. Gray imagined Lyon yanking this thing out of his jacket pocket and flinging at him.

"Recognize that?" Lyon asked, a triumphant smirk in his voice.

Gray did. The picture was one taken of him by one of the many girls he'd slept with. He couldn't think of her name though, which prompted a moment of self-loathing.

"Young thing named Angel gave me that," Lyon told him.

 _Angel! That was her name._

"And—incidentally," Lyon added, "she said she liked my dick better than yours."

"Well, I dunno about that," said Gray, all casual, very slowly preparing to use his hand to grab Lyon's gun, twist around, and disarm him—any minute now. Just the same, the muscles in his stomach had all tensed up, his heartrate was picking up rapidly, and his breath was just a little shallower than before.

This wouldn't be the first time Death was staring him in the face—or staring him in the back in this case, he supposed—but it was never a feeling he enjoyed. Though there was something to be said of the feeling after, when the adrenaline wore off and he laughed off the shakes from having nearly died but coming out alive in the end. He had the bullet wounds and other scars left to prove it.

It was a dangerous play, but he knew that if he calculated the timing right, he'd come out of this alive in the end too. Barely. Maybe.

He just hoped everyone inside Fairy Tail would stay inside there. He had no doubt that Lyon would shoot anyone who came across them on sight.

"So, you gonna kill me or what?" he groused.

"Oh, you'd like that wouldn't you?" said Lyon, sounding a little too excited. "Just have it all end in a flash and a bang and then…you're free. Except for your soul burning in Hell, you sonofabitch."

"I ain't dyin'," Gray told him flatly. "Not for _you_ anyway."

Just a few more seconds—

Then Lyon lifted the gun higher and aimed it at the back of Gray's head instead, pressing it into his wild dark hair.

 _Shit_ , Gray suddenly thought, thinking he'd let his chance already slip away when he didn't realize he was about to lose it.

Even like this, there was something in his will that was determined not to let him give in. He wasn't going down, not like this.

He couldn't.

But then…maybe…maybe he deserved it.

After all, whatever Lyon was, he wasn't wrong in saying that Gray deserved to be put to death.

"Fuck," Gray breathed, closing his eyes.

Then there was another click of the hammer of another gun, and then Natsu's voice: "Put the gun down, you rat-bastard. If you pull that trigger, I swear to God I will fucking kill you."

There was a deathly pause, and Gray's heartrate slowed, just a hair.

"Well Gray, looks like your boyfriend's here to save your ass," Lyon sneered.

"I ain't messin' around!" Natsu roared. "Get away the fuck away from him!"

Even while Gray appreciated Natsu coming to give him some backup when he hadn't even dared to hope or desire for it, he knew he was never gonna live this down. But he'd take Natsu's ribbing that he saved his life a thousand times over getting shot dead by Lyon.

Just the same, his friend had given him back the chance he'd thought he'd lost. While Lyon was shouting something back at Natsu, Gray spun around and whipped out his Desert Eagle, aiming at Lyon's smug little face, right between the eyes.

"You heard the man." Gray's smile was sardonic. "Beat it."

Lyon glanced between the two of them, reevaluating his situation. Then he lowered his gun, ducked down, and hopped up onto a dumpster, and then up to a fire escape on the adjacent building, where he swung up to the roof and disappeared into the darkness. Another thing their foster moter, Ur Milkovich, had taught both him and Gray.

Gray and Natsu both let out a breath before holstering their weapons.

"He'll be back," said Gray, without a doubt in his mind, already contemplating getting out of town for a while. At least until he could lead that bastard away from the people he'd come to care about.

"You wanna tell me what that shit was all about?" Natsu demanded.

Gray looked up at him and smiled, but it was a sad smile. "Old friend. Foster brother, actually. But as far as he's concerned, we're just enemies."

Natsu, starting to puff up in anger, deflated as he softened up a bit. "Look, man, I know you were involved in a lotta heavy stuff before you came here—I did my share too, if you haven't forgotten, though being a bounty hunter is a little more noble than most things—but it would've been nice if you'd filled in the gaps in the details a little better."

"I was tryin' to keep you and everyone else out of it," Gray argued, and then he heaved a sigh and sank down on a nearby crate, pushing back his dark hair with one hand and then massaging his neck like he did when he started to get uncomfortable. "I don't wanna see anyone I care about get hurt 'cuz a me. Not again." His voice cracked against his will on the word, "again".

"Dude, that's real saintly of you an' all, but it was stupid," Natsu chastised him, actually sounding like an adult for once. "Man, you could've been _killed_ just now." And his eyes got oddly bright and he turned away, breathing out again, hands on his hips. "You're one of us, and we take care of our own. If we'd known about this guy, you know we'd have your back, right? Or did you forget?"

Gray glanced up at him and then down at the ground. "No. I didn't forget. I just…didn't wanna have this turn into a bloodbath. I'd've died happy if he'd just shot me dead now and left the rest of you alone."

"Yeah, well, A: you don't know that, and B: don't you ever say anything that sounds like you'd be 'happy to die' ever again. You got that?"

"Sure. Fine."

"And don't even think about skippin' town to draw him away either, 'cuz we'd all just come after you anyway."

"Yeah, all right, I got it."

"I _mean_ it, Gray!" Natsu whipped around and shook a finger at him. "I will beat you blind if that's what it takes, but I will not let you get killed. Any more than you would me."

Gray stared up at his friend and then smiled again, this time sincerely. "All right. You have my word." He hesitated and then asked, "How the hell did you know to come out here and save my ass anyhow? And thank you, by the way."

"Oh God, I think Hell's freezing over if you're thanking me." But Natsu grinned. "I dunno, I just…had a feeling. You were gone too long, even for a guy who needed a smoke alone."

"Fair enough," Gray conceded.

"All right…now no more of this…'I don't deserve to live' shit, got it?"

"Got it."

"Good." Natsu held out his fist. "Deal?"

"Deal." Gray touched his knuckles to Natsu's, and then Natsu pulled him to his feet and brought him back into the bar where the others were waiting.

* * *

Juvia was uncharacteristically nervous. This wasn't the first time she'd put on the guise of a single girl trying to make it on her own and going in for an interview to work as a waitress or a hostess…or a jazz singer. Yet when she stepped out of the motel after breakfast the next morning, dressed in a sensible blue and white, frilly polka-dotted dress with red heels and lips to match, handbag with her loaded Sapphire in hand, she had a rare case of butterflies in the stomach.

She glanced at Gray's text again, where he'd given her the address, and given her a good time to stop by the bar earlier in the day and informally audition for the gig.

 _Anytime between 9 and noon, she'll be around. Tell her Gray sent ya._

The corner of Juvia's mouth curved upward. She felt the flutters inside her again though as the Uber driver she'd called for arrived so she could take it to Fairy Tail.

The driver that stepped out to greet her though was a magenta-haired young woman sporting pigtails and wearing a dress patterned in hearts, a pattern which threatened to put Juvia into daydreams of romances she could never have.

The woman held out her hand with a smile bright as plastic. "Hi, I'm Sherry Blendy. Where're we goin' today?"

"Ah…."

Juvia gave the woman the address for Fairy Tail, and Sherry started chattering away about what a "hoot" Fairy Tail was.

"Do you hang around there much?" Juvia asked.

"Nah, not me, I'm not really a drinker and well, I've got a boyfriend already and he's not one for bars—more of a clubber, you know—so…no reason to go." Sherry shrugged as she drove them onto the road, Juvia sitting cross-legged in the back. "But I've heard people round Magnolia talk about it."

"Magnolia?"

"Yeah. That's where we are. Magnolia, just outside Crocus City. Well, the armpit o' Crocus. Armpit o' Fiore County, actually."

Then Sherry laughed, but it was kind of obnoxious, if Juvia was being honest.

 _Guess I should've already known that_ , said Juvia, though she forgave herself considering she had planned on making it further into the city, where they were headed now.

Fairy Tail Bar was nestled in the industrial section of the bar scene. It seemed that the closer a building was to an industrial outlier like Magnolia, the more industrial it was in clientele. Which made sense, obviously. Towards the more glittering city center were the ritzier establishments where Juvia normally went, or rather, where Porla took her when he wanted to go out on the town and needed a girl on his arm.

When Sherry dropped her off out in front of Fairy Tail, Juvia paid her the fare and then watched her drive off before she pulled open the rather nice polished wood door and went inside.

And inside, it was much nicer than out, which Juvia reflexively found to be a relief. More than that, she appreciated the authenticity of it. It wasn't some sleek metropolitan place like where she usually went with Porla and the others, it was much more…pubby.

She went over and ran her hand over the beautiful wood of the bar, and then found herself charmed by the glitter of the midmorning sunlight on the rows of bottles of liquor behind the bar, vaguely reminded of stained glass in a church, though that kind of beauty brought on its own more sorrowful recollections.

"Hi!"

Juvia looked up, surprisingly startled, as a beaming woman with beautiful white hair—the top of which she had tied up so that she had a sort of cute little pom on her head—drifted over to her from the back of the bar, weaving in and out of the tables, the chairs stacked on top of them. She had a lovely pink and purple sleeveless dress on with a low neckline, but she wore it well, and her fuchsia heels clacked on the hardwood floor.

The air of authority with which she carried herself told Juvia this was probably Mirajane Strauss.

She held out her hand. "Hi, I'm Juvia Lockser. Um…a little birdie told me you might be willing to look at fitting in a jazz singer on your bill."

Mirajane stopped in front of her and put her hands on her hips. "A little birdie, eh?" She raised a graceful white eyebrow.

"Yeah um…Gray Fullbuster."

"Oh?"

Juvia found herself genuinely curious at the way Mirajane now raised both eyebrows.

Then Mirajane considered her, tapping the side of her face with one fine polished index finger, the corner of her mouth tugged upward. "Alrightee then, I'm game. Why don't you sing me a couple tunes and we'll see what you've got." At last she accepted Juvia's hand. "Mirajane Strauss. Please to meet you."

"Likewise," Juvia said sincerely, though she did have to remind herself that this was the woman Porla said had a Winchester under the bar and knew how and when to use it.

* * *

"GRAY FULLBUSTER!"

Without thinking, Gray lifted his head up at the sound of a certain voice shouting his name to the rafters in the little car shop. Unfortunately, he'd somehow totally forgotten that he was underneath a car and banged his head on the transmission of the Chevy Aveo he was working on.

"OUCH! Fuck…."

He rolled out from underneath the car on the skateboard he was lying on and sat up, massaging his forehead.

"Hey dummy, hit your head on the transmission?" Natsu jibed, just stepping out of the office after taking a phone call.

"Shut up," Gray groused. "Thought I heard Erza callin' my name."

"She was."

And Gray and Natsu both looked round and saw the woman herself in a pressed suit, this one navy blue, red hair back up in a bun, and gun and badge strapped to her hip as she rocked a pair of aviators.

She lowered the shades down the bridge of her nose and eyed Gray still sat on the floor on the skateboard. "So how come you held out on us last night?" she asked, in that way of hers that meant that she'd learned something about him that Gray would rather she hadn't.

Wary, Gray pulled himself up and dusted off his jeans. "What do you mean?"

But then Natsu's eyes widened and he tried signaling to Erza that whatever she thought she knew, she didn't.

Erza wasn't playing fair though, though she hardly ever did.

She smirked.

"Mira told me about a certain bluenette customer who came in here yesterday with a broken down Lamborghini?"

Gray let out a sigh. "Yeah, but…why is that something I should've brought up?"

Erza took off her aviators with one hand. "Because that bluenette showed up this morning saying you were referring her as a jazz singer for Fairy Tail. And well, you know Mira, she just had to know how it was the two of you met between then and the last time she'd seen you."

"She's just a customer," Gray said, leaning his shins back against the front of the Aveo, folding his arms across his chest. "And someone on the road who said she could sing. So I thought I'd mention it. Seemed like she might be lookin' for work or something like that. I was bein' polite."

"I see. And…how about when you gave her a lift?"

"It was just 'cuz we gotta keep her car in the shop another day or two to fix her engine. Again, I was bein' polite and savin' her the trouble of callin' an Uber." (Behind him, Natsu sniggered—he'd always found the word, "Uber" too hilarious to take seriously.)

Erza lowered her eyelashes as she sucked on the end of her aviators. "Uh-huh. Well, according to what Mira's told me, she's very pretty." Then she added, "And she put this girl on the bill. Juvia Lockser, the jazz chanteuse. I like it."

Natsu blinked, going slightly cross-eyed for a moment. "The jazz shon-what now?"

"Use your dictionary app, Natsu." Then Erza turned to Gray, but Gray forestalled her, holding up a hand.

"I know what you're gonna say, and me and Natsu already talked about this," he said sternly.

Erza hesitated as she took in his words, and then her expression softened, which made Gray look slightly away again. Sometimes she knew him _too_ well. "All right well, Mira wasn't just basing her judgement on looks alone. Girl can sing, so Mira says. She starts tonight, actually."

"Oh, well…great." Gray tried to sound casual about it, shrugging. But he was also massaging the back of his neck again.

"Well I for one look forward to it," Erza went on, switching tact. "We could use a little culture, not that I don't love Lisanna and Elfman's jokes…or Mira's pop covers. So…where's this Lamborghini? Mind if I take a peek?"

Natsu glanced at Gray but Gray wouldn't look at either of them.

"Yeah, sure, it's on deck in the rear garage."

"Cool."

Erza slid her aviators back on, which Gray took note of as he watched her walk with a little more business-like clip in her step, like she did when she switched gears and went into police chief/investigative mode.

Natsu noticed it too. "You think she's working a case here?"

Gray shrugged. "What case'd that be?" Now that the idea was brought up though, he considered it, thought back to what he'd been wondering about whether Juvia was on the run from a guy or something. And he felt that twinge of concern in his chest again.

Natsu scratched the back of his head and then said, "Maybe it's somethin' to do with the Phantom Lord?"

Gray bristled. "Better not be," and he hunkered back down on the skateboard.

"I agree, the less we have to do with them the better." But Natsu wasn't done with him. "Anyway, you plannin' on at least telling Erza about your buddy?"

"He's not my _buddy_." Gray glared up at him, but then he relented and added, "Of course I'll tell Erza. Just to make sure everyone at Fairy Tail's safe."

Just when he ducked back under the car though, Natsu knelt down and grabbed a hold of the end of the skateboard, yanking Gray back out.

"Hey!"

"Be straight with me: would you've ever said _anything_ about this—what was his name?"

"Lyon Vastia."

"Yeah, him. Would you've ever said anything about this guy if he'd never turned up around here?"

"Does it matter?" Gray tried to slide back under the car. "Leave it alone."

"Gray—"

"I said _leave_ it."

The shaken silence told Gray though that Natsu was legit stunned at his attitude about this. But he didn't press the issue either, and after a minute, he stood up with a sigh of, "Okay," and went back to working on the truck behind the Aveo. Gray huffed and worked off the rest of his frustration wrestling with the transmission until he'd fixed it.

He'd always had this inkling fear in the back of his mind that Lyon would find him one day. But Lyon's role in the life he once lived reminded him of too many painful things, and Gray wasn't the sharing sort, especially when it came to personal stuff.

When he slid back out from underneath the car, he found Erza looking down at him again, aviators pushed back up on her head, arms folded underneath her breasts.

"It's a very nice car. Woman's got expensive taste."

"That and a sugar daddy. Maybe."

Erza laughed. "She doesn't seem like the gold-digger type, actually, which might seem odd given what she's driving. But if she's a traveling musician, as you suspect, perhaps it's the product of sweet revenge from a breakup with a boyfriend."

Gray stood and brushed his jeans off again, and then grabbed the rag hanging out of his back pocket and cleaned off his greasy hands with it. "Honestly, Erza, I couldn't care less what it's all about."

"Really?" Erza raised an eyebrow at him. Then she shook her head. "You can be so odd, you know that, Fullbuster?"

"Eh?"

"One minute you're all buddy-buddy, and the next you're shirking everyone off like you just wanna be alone. So which is it? Do you wanna be with people or be alone? Or be with people who _leave_ you alone?"

Gray tried to muster up the attitude he'd had with Natsu again, but with Erza it was harder. He gave up and sighed. "I dunno."

"Well, either way, we're all here for ya." Erza gave his shoulder a soft and friendly mock-punch. "You know that right?"

"Yeah, I do." A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Listen though, before you go…I gotta let you know about somethin'. Just…somethin' to keep an eye out for."

Erza folded her arms again, reverting back to police chief mode. "Okay. What is it?"

Gray outlined for her, in as little detail as possible, what had happened last night with him and Lyon, and then Natsu happening to come in just in time to save his ass.

When he finished, Erza considered him with a knit to her brow. She glanced once over his shoulder at the sounds of Natsu tinkering with the Ford truck before she glanced back at Gray.

"This is something you want kept on the DL, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well…I know a little something of wanting to keep things close to the chest." Erza let out a breath and slid her aviators back on. "Don't worry, kiddo, I'll keep an eye out without making it something the whole bar knows. White hair, right? Lyon?"

"Vastia."

"Got it. I'll let Mirajane know about it so she can be alert when I'm not around."

"That's a relief. Thanks."

"Sure thing."

Erza made her hand into a pistol shape and pretended to fire at Gray. Gray fired back with a hand-pistol of his own. They both grinned and saluted, and then she turned and headed for the door.

"Allrightee, gotta go pick up Jellal," she announced, loud enough so Natsu heard too.

"Yahoo!" Natsu poked his head out from under the Ford. "You guys gonna be at FT tonight then?"

Erza paused at the door, and the expression that settled across her face was one that Gray sincerely empathized with.

"Nah, think the guy'll just want some peace and quiet his first night back home. But we'll try to make tomorrow night." (Which made Gray all the more relieved that Erza was bringing Mirajane in on this keep-an-eye-out-for-Lyon thing.)

"Well, have _fuuuuuuuun_!" Natsu called with a sly look and Gray gave him the finger.

"Knock it off, Natsu! God, you have the sensitivity of a dead salmon sometimes."

"Ew. Why a _salmon_?"

Gray chose to ignore that as he headed into the office to do the write up on the Aveo now that that job was taken care of. After he drove it around to the back lot with the other cars ready to be picked up by their owners, he went back in and took the next folder on the stack.

 _Lockser, Juvia._

"Okay," he muttered under his breath, like he readying to take a plunge. Then he went to the rear garage and for a moment he just stood there, admiring the gleam of the blue Lamborghini. He knew it needed fixing, but it just seemed too beautiful for human hands to touch.

But his job was to fix the damn thing, not worship it like the statue of a goddess.

So he got to work, unlocked the vehicle with the keys and popped open the hood.

The afternoon lull washed over the shop, Natsu working away on the truck and then another car, Gray on the Lamborghini, music blasting from the radio in the office like always.

Yet all that faded away as Gray worked on the car. Not that that didn't usually happen given his level of focus when he worked, but this time a pleasant energy overtook him. He felt this inexplicable happiness that had nothing to do with the innocent contentment that earning an honest living fixing cars gave him. It was more than that. It bubbled inside him, like colorful soap in water, floated like a cloud.

He whistled while he worked, which wasn't something he normally did.

If Natsu noticed, he didn't say anything.

At some point the station on the radio was even changed to a smooth jazz station, but Gray's working mind flowed along with it like water, subconsciously digging the saxophone riffs.

And he _enjoyed_ working on Juvia's car. There was a pleasure to it that he hadn't expected. And he managed to make good headway on it too, though he'd have to let her know they'd need one more day to get it road-ready. He had a feeling though that given the way things were and the fact that she had a job with Fairy Tail now, she wouldn't be all that disappointed that her car was still in the shop.

After they closed up and had their smoke out front, he told Natsu to go on ahead to Fairy Tail, he needed to pick something up from his place. So Gray took his truck while Natsu darted over to his house across the street and hopped into his flame-orange GT Mustang.

But then at the duplex where he lived, he came across something he hadn't expected to, something that both annoyed and pleased him at the same time, if that were possible.

* * *

Seeing as how Juvia had managed to get the singing gig, her next step was to make it seem like she was prospectively seeking a residence more permanent than the motel in Magnolia. Of course, given that she had to be prepared to make a quick get away once her job was done, she did what she usually did in this situation. She gave Porla a call, and after half an hour, he called back with an address.

The place he'd arranged for her was the empty half of a duplex. The building was owned by a woman named Kaguya, who apparently owed Porla a favor.

It was a mark of how, in some ways, Porla was everywhere here. If you wanted to get away from him, you had to have the means to get very far indeed. Get out of Fiore County, anyway. And Juvia didn't have those means yet, otherwise she'd have been gone by now.

Plus, that was assuming that he wasn't willing to hunt you down beyond the bounds of Phantom Lord territory.

The place itself was sparse, so for now Juvia made do with an air mattress and some sheets and pillows she picked up in town in the afternoon. Then, back at the duplex, she sat on the mattress with a granola bar, wearing a t-shirt with a music note on it and jeans while she put together a song set for her first night at the Fair Tail Bar later that evening.

Oh the mundanity that came into the intrigue of assassination work.

As she worked on this with her laptop, her back against the wall of the otherwise bare sitting room, her eyes flicked now and then to her phone. Wondering if she'd get a call back from the shop, if it'd be Gray or Natsu who'd call her, to let her know her car was fixed.

She couldn't help her heart fluttering at the thought of it being Gray, unable to shake the handsome look of him, thinking again of the way his shirt had hugged his body to clearly suggest the muscles underneath. She felt that same stirring again too, that need that was purely biological, but at the same, still had the potential to drive her crazy.

She bit her lip and heaved a sigh, forcing herself back to her work.

Then at quarter after four, wearing a cute blue and frilly off-the-shoulder dress, she put on her makeup in front of the bathroom mirror, her thoughts listing on Gray again, what he would think if he saw her in this dress. She thought about adding some perfume, but then decided against it. She'd always been at her best when she worked with her natural scent, which one man who had been enamored of her (even if he'd been her target and she'd killed him later) had commented reminded him of sand and sea. It was flattering, to say the least.

If Gray were to tell her something like that though….

Juvia shivered and shook those pleasanter thoughts off as she lifted the fluffed pleats of her dress, reminiscent of seafoam, or perhaps a mermaid's tail, and strapped on her thigh holster. There wasn't a slit here, but the skirt itself was flowing and easily opened up like a flower. With a single yank, she could have the skirt up and be drawing the gun before anyone could blink. The fluff of it too would help to hide the bulge that would otherwise give away the gun's being strapped there.

On her way out, she tucked her Sapphire into her thigh holster and let the skirt drop just as she heard a vehicle door outside slam. The person who lived in the other half of the duplex must have come home or something. She tossed the flash drive with her chosen music on it into her handbag, which she tucked under her arm. After she stepped out on the front stoop and locked the front door behind her, she turned around only to find—

"Gray." The name fell out of her mouth like a snowflake drifting down from the sky, without her even thinking about it.

Gray stopped just before the front stoop, staring back at her, blinking stupidly for a moment before he shook his head. "So…movin' in, are we?"

Though he smiled, there was something…forced about it. Just a little. Like he was trying to hide disappointment or something at seeing her there.

Juvia wilted inwardly against her will. But she managed a smile too. "Well, I figured I stay a while since I've got the job at the bar. Thanks again, by the way."

"Don't mention it."

"Anyway, I honestly had no idea that you lived in the other half of this duplex. I was just able to get this place on such short notice."

"'S fine. Don't gotta apologize or nothin'. Speakin' a which, your car'll take just a little longer to get done. Just another day."

"Oh. Well great. Thank you."

"Not a problem."

But Gray's tone of voice oddly made Juvia feel like she had to apologize again. Which was admittedly a little irksome as well as a bit depressing.

Juvia took a step down, and Gray took a step up, heading for his own front door.

"So, I guess I'll see you at the bar then," Juvia attempted, still acting lighthearted and unruffled.

Gray's mouth crooked up again, but his smile still looked like he'd swallowed something bland. Or bitter even. "Yeah. Sure. See ya." And then he disappeared into his half of the house.

And Juiva meanwhile felt that stir of desire again, agitated by how frosty he was inexplicably acting with her. Which, strangely enough, added fuel to the fire that not even water could drown.

* * *

Gray grabbed what he'd swung by his place for: a mother-of-pearl stiletto pocketknife given to him by Ur, and stuck it in his jeans. If Lyon was going to make an appearance tonight, he wanted to have this on hand when he faced him again. He wanted Lyon to see it before he dealt with him, seeing as how Lyon had a knife identical to it.

How fitting.

When he stepped back outside and locked back up, he lit a cigarette and smoked it out on the front stoop, tapping off the ash into the grass below and thinking of Juvia, standing there in that dress, and the way that for a moment he couldn't breathe looking at her, even as his heart had pounded and he'd briefly undressed her with his eyes.

She really was beautiful. Not just beautiful, but _lovely_. Radiating warmth like the Mediterranean Sea, melting the ice crystalized in his chest at a trickling pace.

"Damn it," he muttered.

There was something drawing him to her, against his better judgment. And it was more than just a natural need—though that was certainly part of it, and it was strong, all things considered—he wanted to _know_ her. She seemed so strange, something underneath her eyes that suggested a personality that was troubled, stumbling, and feverish, but also graceful even so. If she fell…he wanted to be the one…to catch her. She was almost unearthly in some ways.

But there was everything that weighed him down. And worse still, Lyon had found him, and was prowling around.

 _I can't. I can't get her dragged into my shit._

He crushed the end of his cigarette in his fingers, letting the burning tip scorch his skin before he flicked it to the ground and stamped it out.

 _Get over it, you bastard_ , he told himself, as he stomped over to his truck and yanked the front door open.

At Fairy Tail, Natsu met him outside. It was well after six, and Elfman and Lisanna were just getting started with that night's comedy routine.

"Any sign of Lyon?" Gray asked.

"Nope." Natsu finished his cigarette and then ground it against the brick wall of the building before tossing it in the bin.

"Lucky Mirajane's on this too, from what Erza said, I don't wanna cause a panic." Gray peeked inside the bar, catching a glimpse of Elfman and Lisanna onstage, in the middle of a comedic exchange that was followed by a burst of laughter. He also caught Mirajane working behind the bar, and she noticed him and gave a wave, and he waved back.

The loudest laugh in the house meanwhile was that of Makarov, naturally.

"The old man's already drunk I see," Gray observed with a bittersweet chuckle.

"It's good we have this place for him," said Natsu. "He needs something to give retirement a kick. I mean…I guess the guy could go out for softball, but he said himself that he was sick of running around and chasing people down."

"Nah, he belongs here, not on some softball team," Gray affirmed. "He got enough exercise leggin' it after bad guys."

"You ever wonder though," Natsu went on, a little more darkly, "if the guy's got enemies? I mean…he was a damn good chief of police for the seventh precinct. Word has it he even got into it with Phantom Lord a few times. There's no way in hell he wouldn't have an enemy or two out there just waiting to take the guy out for whatever reason. I mean we got Erza on the beat now, but still…."

Gray lifted up one side of the unbuttoned, blue hibiscus shirt he'd put on over his muscle shirt, showing the silver Desert Eagle in its holster. "That's what we're here for, right?"

Natsu considered him and then lifted up the side of his own opened shirt, revealing his dragon-etched Beretta. He gave Gray a wicked grin, and Gray grinned wickedly back. "Right."

And then the two of them bumped fists like the night before, and then the two of them had another cigarette, keeping an eye out for a little longer to see if Lyon would bare his fangs that night before heading inside.

Inside, the bar was warm with it being so full of bodies, as usual. Gray pushed his way to the bar with Natsu and ordered a pint of the beer on tap, which Lisanna gave him as Mirajane was now taking her place on the stage.

"Thanks, Lis," Gray told her with a wink, and Lisanna beamed.

"Any time, Gray."

He had a scotch and a whiskey mixer after that, followed by a few shots of vodka, while Mirajane sang through her set of Nora Jones, Lana Del Rey, and even a little Florence and the Machine, which was a testament to how much they could do with just having Max on piano accompaniment.

Then, after she finished, she very happily announced the very brand new act of jazz singer Juvia Lockser, and Gray raised his ears and eyebrows at seeing Juvia emerge from the crowd on the other side of the room, where she'd been having drinks with Evergreen, Freed, and Bickslow. And Gray felt something in him relax, as it turned out all this time he'd been a little nervous for her—now it seemed though that she was already starting to fit in with some of the regulars at Fairy Tail. Even so, when she stepped up on the little stage and introduced herself, he could see how flustered she was, but not out of any kind of stage fright, but more just out of someone who was aware she was the newbie in what was very much a large, extended family.

Either way, it was rather adorable.

And then she launched into her set, and she started off strong with a rendition of "Fever". She had the whole bar snapping their fingers and tapping their feet, like the place had been turned into a beatnik joint. Gray included. Well, he wasn't snapping his fingers, but was tapping his foot. And okay, he tapped one index finger on the wood of the bar to the beat.

Juvia, along with having a rich and beautiful voice that was just the right amount of husky for a jazz singer, also had good energy. She went from "Fever" to "Papermoon", to "La Vie En Rose" to "Ain't Misbehavin'", and from there it went on until she slowed things down again with "Good Morning Heartache".

And Gray's heart stopped just hearing the first plaintively trilling notes.

Immediately his mind flooded with memories.

 _In the middle of the night he woke up, and found Ur downstairs, busy at her worktable, cleaning her guns._

 _Another afternoon while they were coming home from training in hand-in-hand, she noticed that both he and Lyon were shivering, and she gladly wrapped a scarf around the both of them to give them a little extra warmth. She couldn't have her boys cold, after all._

 _Gray woke up again in the middle of the night, and this time, instead of finding her cleaning her gun, he found Ur bent over her worktable, crying softly into her hands, shoulders shaking. Beside her was a tiny stuffed bear the size of a squirrel that she must've found by accident while looking for something else. He trembled at seeing her so broken, and for a moment he thought about going over to try and comfort her, but then she realized he was there and looked up, hastily wiping at her eyes and acting like nothing was wrong. So he played along for her sake._

 _It was Christmas morning, and while Ur sipped coffee, she watched with a serious yet soft smile as Gray and Lyon both opened gifts of very fine mother-of-pearl stiletto pocketknives for her little bounty-hunters-in-training._

 _On the shooting range she'd had set up outside her cabin, she reached from behind Gray and steadied his hand, and then tilted it up, just slightly, and then told him to pull the trigger on his father's silver Desert Eagle in his hand. She beamed and praised him when he hit a perfect bull's eye. Then she did the same with Lyon as Gray reloaded his clip, and he felt something warm at seeing the two of them. Foster mother, and foster brother._

 _Gray punched the wall, demanding why Ur wouldn't take him with her, while Lyon, wide-eyed, looked on, a little afraid of his foster brother's volatile temper. But Ur refused, giving him a serious, immovable stare, which made Gray scream again and then kick the wall instead. He yelled that the Delioras killed his mother and father, and he needed to avenge them. Even so, Ur would not budge, and told him and Lyon to stay put._

 _In the trunk of Ur's car, Gray waited, having stowed away there instead of staying at home with Lyon like she'd asked him. Only for one of the Deliora guys to pop open the trunk and find him there. They dragged him out, and he saw Ur stare at him in horror at what he had done, at how he'd gotten himself caught when she'd told him to stay home. He tried to tell her he was sorry with his eyes, but it was no use. Desperate, he reached for his father's Desert Eagle he had hidden on him, and even managed to get in a shot, but they disarmed him quick enough. If it hadn't been for Ur, they'd have snapped that gun in half, and his heart would've shattered for it._

 _And because it was him, Ur broke cover completely to save his ass. They had almost made it out of the Delioras' northern compound. They had reached the fence. But the Delioras were closing in fast. There wasn't time to climb over. So Ur hooked the back of Gray's collar and hoisted him into the air, tossing him all the way over the fence. Gray hit the ground hard on the other side of the fence, but Ur was trapped in the compound, and one of the Delioras' gunmen had her pinned. He staggered to his little feet and raised his dad's Desert Eagle again, hands shaking on the trigger for the first time in his life, but when he squeezed, nothing fired. He was empty: they'd managed to take the rest of the bullets out of the clip before Ur had gotten it back for him. He fell to his knees. He screamed Ur's name as he clutched his dad's cross around his neck in his other hand, praying like he hadn't done since the day he'd had to watch his parents get gunned down. Ur smiled at him over her shoulder, and told him to run, that everything would be all right, right before they shot her dead, just like his parents._

Cold drops rolled down Gray's cheeks, and with a silent gasp he realized that he had started to cry. His throat had closed up. He clapped a hand over his mouth, but his tear-filled eyes were fixed on beautiful Juvia, singing a song that echoed his heartache, a song that Ur used to listen to a lot whenever she was sad.

How did she know?

Of course, she couldn't, but his mind was deteriorating into irrationality with so many sad things pouring into his heart, things he'd kept sealed in ice for so long.

Unable to bear it, he awkwardly slid off of his stool and made a beeline for the men's room, weaving in and out of the crowd of people on the way there. He thought he heard Natsu call after him, but he couldn't be sure. He even ran into one person, that dark-haired girl with the white ribbon tied into it he actually remembered had given him a flirtatious glance the night before.

"Sorry," he muttered as he pushed past her, right as she opened her mouth to say something. And suffice to say, his insides were too much of a turmoil of grief and anxiety for him to give much thought to her, even one of guilt to basically blowing her off the second time in a row.

He was glad at least to find that he was the only one occupying the men's room when he stumbled into it. Desperate, he lurched over to one of the sinks and turned on the water, running it hot, splashing his face with it. But even as it did, the floodgates opened and he began crying openly like he hadn't in over a decade, shoulders shaking, sobs choked in his chest, his dad's cross around his neck dangling over the drain, swinging like a pendulum.

"Ur," he whispered when he managed to catch his breath, grabbing a hold of that cross in his shaking fist. "What can I do…I can never be sorry enough…it'll never be enough…."

* * *

Meanwhile, outside, across the street, Lyon, in his black leather jacket, leaned against the wall in between buildings, in the shadows just beside a streetlamp, flicking a mother-of-pearl stiletto pocketknife identical to Gray's open and closed, waiting.

"He out there?" called a soft voice.

Lyon's ears pricked up and he closed the knife and tucked it in his jacket. Then he held out a hand to the woman in the heart-patterned dress who approached him.

"Nah," he told her. "He was earlier, but that pink-haired bastard was with him, and they were too close to the bar anyway."

"Aw, shame. Well, we'll get him." And Sherry Blendy smiled as she leaned up to meet Lyon's lips in a secret kiss beneath the cover of night.


	4. Sostendo

**Chapter Four**

 **Sostendo**

Everyone was clamoring to have a chance to talk to Juvia after she gave her debut performance. She had nailed it, really. She blushed a bit at the attention. Mirajane threw an arm around her and gushed.

"Isn't she wonderful, though?" she praised. "Knew she'd give this place a kick."

"I know someone else who could use a kick!" crowed Natsu. "Eh, Laxus?!"

"Shut up!" snapped Laxus Dreyar, who could probably kick Natsu to the curb like a can just because of his sizable bulk. But he just laughed with everyone else at the bar.

"Can I just say," another loud voice cut in, "that that really took me back? So, thank you for that, my dear."

Juvia looked around and came face to face with…

…Makarov Dreyar.

Her target.

Her objective.

He was right there.

Theoretically, she could draw her Sapphire now, shoot the man in the head before he could blink, and she'd still be able to get away even if everyone here tried to tackle her to the ground and tear her apart as vengeance. She'd gotten herself out of tighter spots. She was a fast enough shot, she could easily carve a bloody path through these people and be done with them, dashing out of the bar and vanishing into the night. It would be to her advantage that at first everyone would be too shocked to even move.

But….

Makarov smiled at her, and that smile…it was so kind. It gave Juvia pause. What man had smiled at her like that, apart from her father, whom she scarcely remembered before he died? After that, there had only been Porla, with his hot breath on her neck and the sound of his flicking switchblade, pressing a gun into her hand and guiding her arms to shoot.

"I…you're welcome," she finally managed to say, sweetly.

 _Do it. Do it now, and you're done here._

"You wouldn't happen to be open to requests, would you? I'd love to hear you do a cover of a Coltrane song. Just to hear a woman sing him."

For a moment, she remembered that there had been a time when adult men treated her with respect, and spoke to her with paternal softness. Juvia had forgotten how much she had always ached for it.

Until this moment.

The corner of Juvia's mouth curved upward, and something soft settled in her chest. "I do happen to have some Coltrane on my drive. I'll see what I can dig up for my next set."

 _Next set? What're you talking about?! Take him out! NOW!_

Makarov beamed. "Excellent! I look forward to it. You're all right, kiddo." And he winked, and it wasn't even creepy the way it normally would be in Juvia's more unfortunate experience with older men. It was…grandfatherly. Truly grandfatherly.

 _Family. A family._

He wasn't the first old man to be her target, but he was the first one to speak to her like this. Like she was one of them.

Like…she was family.

It stalled her thoughts, her brain stuttering same as Lamborghini's engine. All she could do was smile in a moment of delirium.

Then he gave another laugh, his cheeks ruddy with drink. "All right! Now, where's that grandson o' mine?! I'm ordering another round!"

"Aw, come on, old man, you've had enough!" Laxus griped, massaging the back of his neck.

"I'll tell you when I've had enough! Ha ha! Mirajane!"

"Coming right up sir!"

"Mira, don't encourage him!"

And everyone in the bar laughed again, as Mirajane swept over, graceful as a swan, with a pitcher of beer, and she gave Laxus a flirtatious wink that Laxus colored a little at.

And Juvia was continually flooded with a warmth that had been long been sealed away…flooded with it like water….

Makarov disappeared into the crowd, into the shadows on the edge of the pool of lights on the little stage.

But then…perhaps she could get to him later. Yes, get him alone. Maybe when he went to take a piss or something. She'd also taken out targets in much less dignified places than that of a men's restroom. And there was nothing like bringing up those memories to do away with the pleasant, summery warmth that had just briefly overpowered her.

Even as she thought this however, the warmth that had flooded into her from all of the gathered camaraderie of the Fairy Tail Bar, rose up again, stronger, and grew comfortable in her chest, and trying to push it aside now simple depressed her, almost beyond her ability to function, like those rainy days suffering through withdrawal, Gajeel force-feeding her chicken noodle soup. Then, just as it occurred to her that Gray Fullbuster was nowhere to be found when Natsu and his perky blonde girlfriend Lucy Hearfilia came over to chat next, she spotted the man himself step out of the men's room, hands deep in his jeans pockets, chains dangling from the beltloops, and it was like a lance of sunlight through that vale of rain in her heart.

"Join us for a drink, Juvia?" Lucy invited cheerily, clutching Natsu's arm, underneath which Juvia spotted the grip of his pistol in its shoulder holster.

Juvia put on a smile. "Sure."

"Wonder if I should see if Gray's gonna come out any time soon," Natsu muttered as they shoved their way to the bar.

"It's all right, he's here." Juvia nodded in Natsu's direction, where Gray had just appeared next to them after ducking around the crowd at the other end of the bar.

"Yah! Don't sneak up on me like that man!" Natsu snapped when he realized Gray had been standing there.

Gray smiled and gripped his friend's shoulder. "Sorry. Didn't I tell ya, I'm part ninja?"

"If anyone's part-ninja, it's _me_ ," Natsu grumbled, and Lucy patted his arm pacifyingly.

"Actually, I think I'm gonna pack it in," said Gray, and then, for some reason, he glanced at Juvia.

Which, for some reason, prompted Juvia to respond, with a challenging raise of her eyebrow, "Oh? Not gonna stick around to see how well I handle my liquor?"

Gray blinked, struck a bit dumb, taking his hand off of Natsu. "Uh…well, I hadn't…ah…thought about that…." He averted his eyes then, assuming a morose and closed-off air.

"Ooooooh, are you challenging Gray to a drinking match?" Lucy asked, raising her eyebrows up and down, glancing between Juvia and Gray. "You should know that aside from Erza, Gray's the best man in Fairy Tail to hold his liquor."

"Hey, what about me?!" Natsu demanded, looking betrayed. "Am I really second to _Gray_?!"

"Sorry, hon, but it's true," Lucy teased, at which Natsu gave her a sort of noogie before planting a kiss on her cheek, which made her giggle.

Juvia found the exchange rather adorable, and part of her was starting to warm to Natsu's girlfriend, even as she knew she probably wasn't going to see her ever again. Because if she played her cards right with a drinking contest with Gray, perhaps she could get him drunk enough to keep him off his guard, while she kept an eye on Makarov, and seize her chance to get him when the opportunity presented itself.

In that case though—

"Natsu, Lucy, you want in?" Juvia offered.

"Hell, yeah!" Natsu crowed, launching a fist into the air.

"Yeah!" Lucy cheered, raising her hand and the two of them high-fived each other.

Gray though seemed indecisive, which was just as well. Juvia could take it or leave it if he stayed. If he stayed, she'd get him just as wasted as the other two, and if he left, well that was one less person to worry about. Actually, it'd be better if he was as far away from this place as possible when she carried out her mission here.

But then their eyes met again, and a thrill passed through her, that warmth, that sunshine.

And the corner of Gray's mouth crooked, no longer acting aloof with her like he'd been doing earlier.

"Yeah. Sure. All right. You're on." Then his eyes got steely. "If you think you can handle it."

The challenge in his dark gaze was something that set Juvia's heart aflutter, excited her, made her eager like a wolf baying for blood.

She grinned. "I don't plan to lose to you."

"Well, then, Juvia Lockser, bring it on."

* * *

Gray's head was spinning. Juvia wasn't kidding when she said she could hold her liquor.

They were shot for shot for shot, drink for drink now. Seven drinks, ranging from vodka to whiskey, to even the fancy-fancy stuff like cognac and brandy. Just to give it some variety. Natsu was down for the count after that, and Lucy seemed to fake being out too just so she'd still be sober enough to text for an Uber driver to come pick them up. That is until a responsibly sober Lisanna offered to drive them home instead. At which point the two of them waved to everyone who was left as they staggered out the door with Lisanna, who was hiding her mouth behind her hand, but judging by her cheeks it looked like she was smiling fondly.

Gray and Juvia pushed onward, with Mirajane keeping score on the corner of the chalkboard where the drink specials were listed, while at the same she'd gradually wave people one by one out of the bar, including that brunette with the white ribbon in her hair, who noticeably tried to catch Gray's eye again when he happened to glance that way, but then she got swept out of the door by her girl friends.

What was up with her? he wondered.

He shook it off. It wasn't exactly anything to get worried about.

Makarov was one of the last to leave, Laxus half-carrying him out while he was drunkenly caterwauling something that vaguely resembled a song, but not any song Gray had ever heard before. He chuckled under his breath before taking another swig of the drink he and Juvia were on now, scotch. When he checked to see if she could hear that abominable singing and what she must think of it, she was still caught up in a paroxysm of laughter from the joke he'd just told, and there was something very endearing about the way her laughter was unbridled, unfettered, occasionally punctuated by tickled shrieks. Even a snort snuck in there, which made Gray spit-laugh his drink, which just made them both laugh.

In that moment, they were like kids, giggling over juice boxes.

On top of that, from the next drink to the next, he and Juvia swapped stories about this and that. Juvia told him about the various other jobs she'd had, as a waitress, as a restaurant hostess, how she'd worked to hone her jazz-singing when she saw a jazz singer in a club some years back, and decided she wanted to do that too, something more than just wait tables. And he, very carefully, told her a few things about himself in turn. Just the tip of the iceberg, he liked to keep it that way, nothing serious. Like how he'd previously worked as a bounty hunter (there had been times where he'd ended up in some pretty hilarious predicaments, not least accidentally barging in on a naked woman in a dressing room while he'd been on the hunt, at which point she'd shrieked and come after him with a stiletto—shoe, that is), before he came here, discarding the fact that when he did come here, it was more like he'd crawled onto a beach after nearly drowning, broken down from the people he'd had to kill in his line of work: after all, not all of his bounty heads had been wanted alive by those who'd put out the bounty.

Things were starting to get starry though now, and Gray's judgment was fast slipping away. When he next glanced sidelong at Juvia, he got that feeling again that he had when he first saw her, how she was a knockout, and knocked him off his feet—or his metaphorical spirit, anyway. His heart started to pick up speed, revving like an engine, like that sleek Lamborghini, and he had a sudden, feverish fantasy about taking her in the backseat of that car, their arms wrapped around each other, legs entwined, all breath and flesh and pulse, and they'd writhe there together underneath the stars and he'd just _indulge_ in his _lust_ for her and the touch of her skin on his, purely, yet raw and undiluted.

His chest got hot, and he very subtly slid a little closer to Juvia's seat at the bar.

She, meanwhile, was downing her scotch like it was water. She'd even taken it straight, rather than neat. "Good stuff, Mirajane!" she complimented, perhaps a little too vivaciously. Seemed that she too was getting starry in the head. "Whew! How're you holding up Gray?" she asked, turning to him, cheeks red as a siren light.

God, she was gorgeous. She radiated so much warmth that Gray felt his very soul was lapping it up like milk and honey. Or something like that. He wasn't exactly thinking with a clear head right then.

"No' t'bad," he slurred, though not terribly. He leaned a little closer to her, raising his eyebrows. "I cud yuza smoke, though."

"Yeah?" Juvia lifted an eyebrow. "You good to stand?"

"Mmmmm…."

Gray put one foot out and tried pushing himself up, and instead he slid a little and nearly fell to the floor off of his seat. Lucky Juvia caught him by his arm, and they looked at each other…and then laughed. Again.

"I d'nt thinkso," he admitted, getting back up into his seat with Juvia helping some to pull him up. He experienced a whisper of wistfulness when her hand left his arm where she'd gripped it. It had been so soft, and strong for a hand that was so small.

Resting beside his on the bar, her hand was so much smaller than his, and paler too.

It stirred in him the sort of feeling that got stirred in people when they came upon a box full of sweet little kittens that all looked up hopefully and adorably at the same time.

He glanced at the other end of the bar at Max smoking a cigarette while chatting with Warren about baseball while Mirajane closed out thier tabs at the register. Then he pulled out his own cigarettes from the pocket his unbuttoned shirt blue hibiscus shirt and shook two out. It looked like Juvia didn't carry her own—the sort of smoker who did it sparingly, usually bumming smokes off of other people, which was fine.

He held the two cigarettes out to her.

She took one of them from him in her fine and polished fingers, the nails painted a metallic blue. He lit up, and then leaned over and touched the tip of his burning cigarette to hers. At first she hesitated, clearly having expected him to just hand her his lighter and let her light it herself. But then she leaned in too, and their lit cigarette tips met. The end of hers caught, and started to burn, real slow.

They drew back and each took a puff, blowing smoke up into the air, cool as could be, the two of them. Then she gave him a critical look.

"So, one minute you're acting like I'm a chip on your shoulder, and the next you're being a gentleman and lighting my cigarette?" she asked, rather accusingly.

She might not've been slurring like Gray, but she too was losing her inhibitions. Gray was both intrigued and afraid of this. Well, more afraid of himself.

And she was right. Earlier he'd acted stiffly around her, annoyed more with the universe than her that events were bringing them in close proximity to each other, just when he'd made up his mind to listen to the universe trying to warn him that it was dangerous to get in too deep with someone like him.

But then, here he was, and she'd sweetly serenaded a song that had painfully reminded him of his foster mother, and the way he'd lost her, the split that had wedged in between him and Lyon, making him cry like a child, and when he'd come back, and she'd challenged him to a drinking contest of sorts, he'd just…accepted. Like the "fuck it" part of his brain had taken over, and the more rational side was powerless to stop him.

She rendered him that way. She was a presence that was hard for him to ignore, hard for him to steer clear of. He was the stupid cold moth, drawn to flames, even if most of those flames were deadly zappers.

Damn, he was _drunk_.

"Aw, fuck," he growled and took another draw on his cigarette, blew out smoke, tapped some ash off into a nearby ashtray with the Fairy Tail logo stamped on. "Just bein' polite. Like everything else I've been doin' for ya. Thought I told you that." He made sure there was frost to his tone.

Juvia knitted her brow and studied him. He could see that he had stung something inside there, deep down inside there, in those ocean-deep depths of her eyes. Then she said, "What if I told you that right now I'm fighting the urge to throw myself into your arms and go _alllllllllll_ the way with you?"

Gray snorted on a laugh. "Seriously? I'd say you were an idiot, then." Then he glanced at her as he drew on his cigarette again. After he blew out the smoke, he asked, "But…maybe you're just looking for one beautiful night? Been a while since you had a good screw, kitty needs a little petting?"

"You don't have to put it so crudely," Juvia groused, and sidled a little away from him.

Gray was simultaneously relieved and bereft at the withdrawal. He sort of hunched over the bar and his drink apologetically. "I'm bad medicine, that's all. I won't cure your ills. I'll just make you sick." _Or worse._

"Oh, I highly doubt that," said Juvia, a little more sympathetic.

 _Shit._

But he did want her. He _really_ wanted her. The way her song had affected him still echoed inside him, and bit by bit she was prying open his vulnerability. He could only imagine how blissful it would be to escape into her arms, bury himself into her and hold her close, the rainfall scent that fell off of her surrounding him, filling him, filling that hole in his chest.

"Listen, I'm no angel either," Juvia admitted quietly, drawing Gray back out of himself.

"What? You?"

"I mean it. I'm a bad girl."

It was Gray's turn to frown sympathetically. Of course, it was possible this woman had done things in her past she wasn't proud of, or suffered losses that made her do terrible things in turn, same as him, which damn it, just increased his need to _feel_ this woman.

"You can't be," Gray told her, also going quiet.

"Don't let the way I look fool you," she pressed, almost like a warning.

But that way she was talking, almost like he was, with a defensive wall put up, triggered something: Gray leaned closer, and before he knew it, he was brushing his lips against hers. He heard her sharp intake of breath, felt it against his lips. They were so soft, even in that brief moment of touch.

Kiss her. He wanted to kiss her and kiss her and kiss her so fucking badly.

And after her moment of shock, she brushed her lips against his in return, accepting, willing.

They opened their eyes and looked at each other, and suddenly Gray wanted to cry.

"Fuck," he whispered and pulled away.

"Gray," Juvia murmured, a little plaintively.

But Gray was starting to shake off some of the drunkenness, even as he downed the rest of his scotch and got to his feet with improved coordination. He slammed the empty glass on the wood top. "You win. Sound good?" He marked the point by twisting out his cigarette in the ashtray.

And without waiting for an answer, he went over to the register and called in his tab. As he was leaving, he glanced back once and sadly saw Juvia order another scotch, just for herself. Just for her own little lonesome.

* * *

After a few more drinks and hastily finishing off her cigarette, she used the Uber app and hitched a ride home alone. To her dismay, she'd let herself forget about keeping an eye on Makarov and he was gone by the time she'd thought about it again. She needed the extra few drinks just to take the edge off of her magnificent failure as an expert assassin. That and…how that drinking contest had ended.

Moreover, Gray's half of the duplex was depressingly dark. Juvia sighed and stepped passed where her Lamborghini was parked safe in the drive and into her own side of the building, and curled up on the air mattress, thousands of regrets swirling in her head.

She'd chickened out taking out her target, so now she was still stuck here, working the mission. And on top of that, even though there was definitely a primal part of her that just wanted Gray for one night of satisfaction, there was a better part of her, nestled in her heart, that was very much falling in love with him, hard and fast. She couldn't explain why, it was just…there. She wanted to know more about him, about his life as a bounty hunter, sensing a darkness there that he was keeping from her, a darkness that echoed her own. A fellow shadow that told her, "You're not alone anymore."

She was on the edge of tears as she thought about this, and outside, it started to rain.

By morning, the leaves in the trees were dripping, but the skies had since cleared. Instead of being pleasantly awoken by the twitter of the birds, Juvia was jarred awake by the jangle of her cell.

It was Porla.

"Good morning, starshine," Porla crooned into her ear. "The earth says, 'Hello'." He laughed. "You like that? Didn't think I was into musicals, did ya?"

Juvia shoved a hand through her mussed up blue hair. "Good…morning?" She tried not to sound whimpery, as one does when they're woken up and really just want to go back to sleep. Especially with a pounding headache from a night a heavy drinking thrown on top of that.

"Think you can give me a little status report?"

"Oh…um…."

"Need some time to wake up, sweetie?"

"Oh. Uh-huh."

Juvia sat up slowly, but her mind was starting to race as she tried to think of something to say. The truth was that she'd screwed up last night and missed an opportunity. Porla wasn't exactly the sort of person who liked to hear things like that. So what was she going to fill that space of time with instead?

 _Think. Think. THINK! What do I tell him?_

Why was she even having difficulty with this? She was always so good at thinking on her feet. What the actual fuck was wrong with her?

"Ah, well…okay so…I had a chance to chat with the old man…."

"Yeah, Makarov Dreyar?—Yes!"

 _He must be playing darts before breakfast. Because why not?_ Juvia bit her lip, still trying to think quick, taking advantage of Porla celebrating what was clearly a bullseye. She pressed her palm to her forehead.

"Yeah…so…anyway, uh…well, I had a chance to chat with him, but well…the timing wasn't ideal to take him out so…my angle at the moment is just to get him to trust me enough to be alone with me."

"Ah, well, you could always seduce the old fucker. You've handled wrinklier bastards."

"I have indeed." Juvia tried to laugh like it was nothing.

It did look like she was in the clear though at least.

Until Porla suddenly added:

"And you know, Juvia babe, you always do such a good job of remembering who you really belong to. I can tell things like that."

This gave Juvia pause. And then she looked down, lowered her free hand and laid it a little sadly over her lower stomach. "You've laid your claim on me, I know," she murmured, part of her mind fallen into a kind of trance. She'd repeated this a thousand times to him, though it had been a while since the last time she had. "I'm all yours."

"Very good. You know how much I enjoy that, don't you Juvia? That you're mine? All mine?"

"Yes. I do."

"Because you owe me your life, you know."

"Yes. I know."

"You'd be dead without me."

"Yes. I know that…Jose."

"Good. Very good. That's what I like to hear."

Oh yes, he'd made it very clear from the very first that she belonged to him, that he was the cage she couldn't break free from. Every kiss that had made her squrim, every smack and bruise and scar he'd marked her with, especially the one on her stomach.

"Happy hunting, Siren." Porla blew her a kiss over the line.

When she heard the click of Porla hanging up, Juvia threw her head back and stared up at the ceiling. As tears filled her eyes again, she covered them with one hand and just let herself weep again like last night.

Then her phone rang again, and it was Natsu calling about her car being all ready to go.

On Saturdays, _Happy's_ kept half-day hours and was closed Sundays. So Natsu and Gray were able to switch off having Saturdays off, since on a half-day, the place could afford to lose one of its two employees. Seemed as though today was Gray's day off then.

Juvia did her best to keep the sadness out of her voice as she thanked Natsu.

She wasn't sure it worked.

* * *

"I saw, you know," said Mirajane, rather passively-aggressively actually.

"What?" Gray asked, though he had a feeling he knew, and it sank like a stone in his stomach.

"You and Juvia…that little…'moment of intimacy'. You guys kissed, right?"

Gray snorted, dismissive. "Fuck no, she was telling me some silly secret. We were _drunk_."

Mirajane made a, "Hm," sound as she folded up a clean dishtowel and tucked the end of it in the sash she wore at her waist with her dress that evening.

"What's that 'hm' for?" Gray demanded, nettled, swilling the ice in the scotch he'd ordered for his first drink of the night. Fuck, it was only five and he was already drinking. The bar wasn't even open, but Mirajane was happy to give him an early start on the evening. It was a Saturday, after all, and tonight was special. Tonight, Jellal was supposed to join them with Erza.

In the meantime, Gray had spent the better part of his day lying out on his sofa, staring up at the ceiling or trying and failing to get himself lost in one of the paperbacks on his little bookshelf, while smoking cigarette after cigarette, until he'd blown through the entire pack, anxious for it to get late enough that it wouldn't be unclassy for him to start drinking. Which was saying a lot, since he'd woken up that morning, dead with a hangover, and nearly started washing out the bad taste in his mouth out with Southern Comfort instead of Listerine. Lucky he did hold off though, or he might be at home right now, passed out. Maybe even worse.

That and it had been a long time since he'd killed an entire pack of cigarettes in one day. Actually, it used to be that two packs a day was the norm. He'd worked to tone it down since then.

In answer to his query, Mirajane gave a shrug. "Nothing, just…it seemed like the two of you were…hitting it off? Clicking? You know. The way you talked to each other…it was so relaxed. Then again, maybe that was the booze."

"Yep, you're right. It was the booze." Gray knocked back a swig from his glass, relishing in the burn that flowed like liquid fire down his throat and sank into his stomach.

"Still, alcohol can only do so much," Mirajane pointed out. "It isn't that it _makes_ people attractive or anything like that, it's more that it tears down all the reasons you gave yourself not to have a little bit of fun. That's my opinion, anyway." And she grinned.

Gray growled under his breath but couldn't think of anything to say to that.

And the door opened and Erza walked in…alone.

"Erza," said Mirajane, frowning in concern.

But Gray had a feeling about what had happened.

Erza looked tired when she took her aviators off and set her bag on the bar. She managed to give Gray and Mirajane a smile, if a beleaguered one.

"Sorry guys," she said before she could be asked the obvious question, "Jellal's not gonna make it in tonight. He just…wasn't as ready as he thought he'd be. Not yet anyway. So, his therapist came over to keep an eye on him. They have a good relationship though so it feels like he's having a pal over rather than a doctor."

It was obvious she would have rather stayed with him, but he had probably insisted that she go out and have fun, that she shouldn't let him hold her back—which, given he'd just gotten out of the hospital, wasn't a very good sign.

Gray lowered his eyes to his drink. He remembered what had happened to put Jellal in the hospital this last time. He'd had a breakdown when a car backfired in the street, but what made it different this time was that it had been here in the bar. Gray could still hear the poor bastard's screams, unable to stop even when Erza'd had him by both wrists and was trying to reach him with her words.

"Shit," Gray muttered. "I'm sorry about that, Erza," he said, sincerely sympathetic.

Erza caught his eye, and she was able to tell him without words that she was glad guys like him had her back.

Naturally, everyone else was disappointed about Jellal, those who knew him better especially. Natsu reacted with a, "Fuck," growled through his teeth and Lucy and Levy offered their heartfelt sympathies and reassurances that the guy would come around, he just needed time, something with which Erza honestly agreed. By that point, Gray was on his second drink and about to order his third, when the door opened again, the bar packed but a little more funereal for a Saturday, given Erza's news, and in walked Juvia.

Gray just stared at her. She was wearing another beautiful dress, one of sparkling aqua like crystal clear seawater. He knew it wasn't the drinks—or rather, it wasn't _just_ the drinks—but she just got lovelier every time he saw her.

Then Natsu elbowed him in the ribs. "You know, she sounded kinda off today," he said. "You guys have a fight or something?"

Gray blinked at him. "A fight? What? No? Why would that even be a thing?"

Natsu rolled his eyes. "Come on man, you guys were left to drink alone last night. Seemed like you were having a good time. You seemed happy. Awake even."

"Awake?"

"You know what I mean."

"You must be Juvia!"

Gray and Natsu looked up and saw that Erza had pushed her way over to Juvia on the spot: apparently her blue hair and the fact that she wasn't Levy was enough for Erza to figure out who she was. But then, she wasn't the chief of the seventh precinct—and one of the best cops around—for nothing.

Juvia couldn't even get a word out as Erza grasped her hand in hers.

"Mirajane told me about you," Erza said brightly. "I'm Erza Scarlet."

"Oh." Then Juvia smiled. "I've heard something about you too…. Chief of Police, Seventh Precinct?"

"Guilty. Well, not really, otherwise I wouldn't be a cop, ha ha. Can't wait to hear you sing for myself," Erza added, as the two ladies weaved in and out of people on their way back to the bar. "Two Strawberry Ambers, Mira," she added to Mirajane. "My treat."

"Oh, no, that's all right."

"Please, I insist…."

Mirajane slapped two beer bottles on the bar and popped the caps off of both, then passed them to Erza and Juvia on coasters with a grin. "Two Strawberry Ambers. On the house. My jazz singer gets her drinks free, remember?" She did however graciously accept the tip Erza passed her between her two index fingers and drop it into the tip jar. They'd call it even and say it was going toward Lisanna's community college classes.

"Cheers," said Erza, and she and Juvia clinked bottles.

They both took a long quaff from their beers, and there was something that passed between them that was almost like kindred spirits. Juvia's meeker smile widened. Gray found himself wondering, as he nursed his own beer, if Juvia had ever had a girl friend before. Something about her just told him that she hadn't.

Still, he stayed quiet and morose in his own seat at the bar, occasionally glancing at Juvia and Erza chatting, admiring the way Juvia's blue locks fell like water, thick about her shoulders, and caught the warm light.

Then Lisanna and Elfman went up and did their standup schtick, followed by Mirajane and her smoldering pop covers.

After that, Juvia started things up with "I Put a Spell On You", which Gray took personally—but then again, he found it hard to argue with what she was singing. Because she had put a spell on him, whether he liked it or not.

His heart pounded in his chest like before, and all he could do was stare. For one moment, he thought that she was looking at him, and it occurred to him that she might've been trying to catch his eye all evening.

He was such an idiot.

He knew that.

But what could he really give her, other than his body for a night? He was too screwed up. Too many dangerous people were gunning for him, and those were just the ones he knew about.

He was….

"All I Could Do Was Cry" was followed by this, and this turned around and wrenched at his heart. Yet it didn't do so because it reminded him of the past. He was fully in the present, and he didn't know if he was the only one who saw, but to his eyes, Juvia was pouring a pain out onto the stage. He knew something about that, and his throat grew tight. He was on the edge of crying for her and the raw look of anguish on her face.

" _I'm losing_

 _the man that I love_

 _And all_

 _I could do_

 _was cry_ "

Next came a jazzy rendition of "Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)" where she appreciably made a pistol with her hands and fired into the crowd every time she sang "Bang Bang" in the chorus. At one point, he could have sworn she shot at him, and for some reason that gave him a weird thrill.

Then it went on until she finished out with "A Sunday Kind of Love", another song where Gray could tell her plaintive tones came from a place of sincerity.

" _I want a_

 _Sunday_

 _Kind of love_

 _A love to last_

 _Past_

 _Saturday night_

 _And I'd like to know_

 _It's more than love at first sight_

 _And I wanna Sunday kind of love_

…

 _Can't seem to find somebody_

 _Someone to care_

 _And I'm on a lonely road_

 _That leads to nowhere_

 _I need a Sunday kind of love_ "

Lots of people stood, clapped, and whistled when she finished, giving them all a curtsy and drifting off stage as the lights came up.

"Damn it." Gray threw back the rest of his drink. This was his seventh now.

Strangely though, instead of mingling with the others like she'd apparently been doing the night before after her debut, Juvia seemed to excuse herself after Mirajane complimented her off the stage, and darted out of a back door that led out to the alley between this building and the one next door. The one where Lyon cornered him the night before last night.

Not that it meant anything necessarily, it still gave him a bad feeling, seeing her step out alone. Not that this neighborhood was bad, regardless of Lyon creeping around, but still, they were in that part of the city that walked on just the edge of being "sketchville", and he wasn't sure what experience Juvia might've had in handling herself.

"Gray?" Natsu looked round as Gray slid away from the bar.

But Gray barely heard him. He went out the front door, that was closer.

He knew it was there, could feel the weight of it, his father's Silver Desert Eagle in his shoulder holster. As usual, he felt better that it was there. Just in case.

* * *

Juvia was gasping for a cigarette. It had been years since she'd habitually smoked. The cigarette she'd had with Gray the night before had been the first in a while. When Gajeel had gotten her to get clean, she'd thrown smoking in there too as a precaution. And drinking only somewhat.

But there she was, raw, vulnerable, nerves ragged, and she desperately wanted the intoxicating and relaxing escape of a cigarette and another good stiff drink.

"Shit," she muttered, hugging herself—hugging herself the way she used to when she was having those bad comedowns, rocking back and forth in a corner, Gajeel's voice coming to her ears as if through water.

 _"Rain Woman…come on…hey…I'm right here…."_

Crap, she was gonna start crying again. No. More than that, she was gonna start bawling.

Gray had been there, in the crowd. She'd caught his eye more than once, and there had been something in his eyes, even as it had been hard to see him with the bar so dark and the lights on the little stage so bright.

She'd felt it though. Like a spark traveling between them, reaching across the room to draw them both together.

Her head was clouded with liquor and sadness and remorse and the need for someone to just hold her like they actually fucking cared about her. Gray was being so cold with her when she tried, just because, to get a little closer to him, and yet…and yet…there was something in his eyes…like he too howled at night, in his soul, for someone to keep him warm, if only for a little while.

Juvia gave a sob, but she didn't cry. Not just yet.

"Fuck." She tipped her head back, pushing back her thick blue hair, staring up at the dark sky, the stars buried within clouds and beams of light pollution from the city.

She tried to turn her swirling, whirlpool thoughts to something else.

Something else that niggled at her brain.

She had spotted that Sherry Blendy chick poking around the motel she'd stayed at for a night as she'd been passing by the place in the Uber driver car she'd texted for, on the way to the bar that night. And something about it…Juvia had observed it with suspicion.

What the hell was up with her? Sneaking around like that?

In her line of work, she'd learned to take seemingly trivial things into as much account as ones of more import.

Juvia lowered her gaze to the ground, her blue hair thick curtains around her face. She chewed pensively on a thumbnail, her thoughts branching out on a pathway of possibilities as to what a woman like Sherry Blendy would want with sneaking around cheap motels.

A footstep.

Someone was there.

Juvia's head snapped up, and there stood a man who'd appeared like a ghost. He even had a shock of white hair. He was wearing a leather jacket and jeans, and he was smoking a cigarette, moseying around like he regularly took evening strolls in back alleys.

"Hello there," he greeted. "Well, aren't you a beauty?" He gave her a lopsided grin and ground the burning tip of his cigarette into the brick wall of the building where Fairy Tail Bar kept shop. Then he threw it to the ground, where it rolled into a puddle of water.

Juvia got a shiver. But she kept it cool, while at the same time she made sure her hand could easily snatch her Sapphire out from the thigh holster under her dress. Just in case.

"Why thank you," she said, playing coquettish, lifting one shoulder, angling it so that the leg where she had her gun was out of sight, so he wouldn't see her reach for it right away. "And what's a handsome devil like you doing out here, all alone on a Saturday night?"

"Eh, I was hopin' I'd run into a friend of mine. Guy by the name o' Gray Fullbuster." Lyon scratched at the wall he'd just crushed his cigarette out on and then looked at her. "Know him?"

Fear. And not for herself. It had been a while she'd felt that kind of paralyzing sensation. Not since Porla said to her, _"I want you to kill Gajeel."_

Even so, she kept on keeping her cool. "Maybe." She played like she had no idea what he was talking about, making to sashay over to him like all she was interested in was dragging him into a dark corner and letting him have her way with him.

Meanwhile that fear rippled through her, over and over.

She didn't know who this guy was, but something about the way he asked about Gray was sending up more red flags. Nobody who said they were "looking for someone" while materializing out of the shadows like this guy did was up to anything good.

Her suspicions were confirmed when the guy took out a beautiful mother-of-pearl stiletto pocketknife from inside his jacket and flicked it open. At the same time, that Sherry Blendy came out of the shadows from behind him, snaking a hand over his shoulder and cuddling up to him.

"Now, now, Lyon, that's enough playing nice. You're making me jealous." She grinned wickedly at Juvia. "Hey there. Small world, eh?"

"Yeah, small world," said Juvia bluntly, dropping the seductress act. Which for a moment seemed to catch Lyon off-guard. She took this opportunity to slide her hand down the length of her thigh, feeling for the slit in her dress, the handle of her Sapphire just beneath the delicate fabric—

The click of a gun hammer behind her.

Juvia went stiff.

And then Gray's voice behind her, cold and threatening:

"Lyon. Drop the knife…and get away from her."


	5. Cavalleresco

**Chapter Five**

 **Cavalleresco**

Juvia stared at Gray, and Gray stared right back at her. She seemed surprised, shocked, her blue, almond-shaped eyes wide and confused. Gray's heart started to pound again at the sight of her, his mouth going dry. It evoked something not only warm in his chest, but primal too, that urge to protect another life.

"Gray…" Juvia breathed, unable to say anything else.

"Well, well, Gray," cut in Lyon's voice. "So nice of you to join us." His eye flicked at Juvia and then snapped back onto Gray. "She your woman?"

Juvia went slightly red, in spite of the circumstances, and Gray himself flushed against his will. That just made him even more pissed off at Lyon, if that were possible.

He leveled the Desert Eagle again.

"You deaf? I said put the knife away and get away from her, shithead."

But instead, Lyon simply used the point of the knife to clean his fingernails. Which was an outright insult to Ur's memory in Gray's opinion.

"LYON!"

"Sherry," said Lyon, sounding bored.

The woman Sherry had become a flash of pink as she whipped a small pistol out from under her dress.

 _Shit!_

But before either Sherry or Gray could fire, Juvia reached under her own skirt and whipped out her own gun, a blue beauty of metal and death.

She aimed—

And fired.

Sherry screamed and fell back, falling back against the dumpster behind her and clutching her shoulder that now bled thick, deep red. But Gray was more stunned at the expression on Juvia's face.

Stone cold. She hadn't even flinched.

He never would have pegged her for one experienced in firearms. But it was plain as day that here stood before him a woman who clearly was. Her entire demeanor had shifted, as though she had slid into the skin of another person, bright eyes now cold as an arctic ocean, and just as dark and fathomless. Almost dead. Not a flicker of remorse for the woman writhing in pain at her feet.

And very coolly, Juvia did the smart thing and kicked Sherry's pistol to the side.

"SHERRY!" Lyon lurched forward, raising the beautiful knife that was a twin to Gray's, about to slice Juvia's throat with it.

He stopped short with the barrel of Juvia's gun now pointed squarely between his eyes.

"Don't think I won't do it," she told him.

But Lyon's mouth curled, challenging, rodential. "Oh, I dunno. You could've killed Sherry the same way, and yet…."

Juvia clicked back the hammer on her gun, her mouth curling ever so slightly as well, but on her it stirred something in Gray, reminded him how deceptively still water could be when so much roiled beneath its surface. "I don't see her as great of a threat as you."

Meanwhile, Sherry slowly edged along the dumpster, trying to inconspicuously grab her pistol from where Juvia had kicked it out of her reach, but Gray aimed his Desert Eagle at her.

She froze.

"I don't think so," he told her flatly.

Lyon's eyes flickered between Sherry on the ground, bleeding badly with Gray's gun trained on her, and then to Juvia, and then back to Gray. His eyes seared with ire, but he backed down.

For Sherry's sake.

"Lyon, wait!" Sherry moaned, as Lyon put the knife away and scooped Sherry up in his arms. "I can still…."

"That's enough," he admonished, and for a moment Gray saw more of the foster brother he had grown up with. He had always been the sort of person who preferred to show how much he cared with blunt and direct expressions.

Before he disappeared down the alley, he paused and said, lividly, "This still isn't over. I'll be back. And I'll keep coming back until this thing is settled."

"That a promise or a threat?" Gray asked sarcastically.

"What do you think?" And with that, Lyon disappeared with Sherry into the shadows. Shortly thereafter, they heard the screech of a car, and guessed that Lyon's getaway car had somehow known to sweep in and pick them up.

Only when they heard a second screech of tires did Juvia sigh and then tuck her gun back in the holster strapped to her thigh under her dress. Gray however was a little slower in putting his own gun away. He slowly pulled it back, and then, still watching Juvia warily, he holstered it back under his shirt.

Juvia didn't turn to face him though, not immediately. And there was suddenly an air of vulnerability about her that made Gray less wary of her, even with what he'd just witnessed.

He sighed and reached for his smokes and lighter instead. "You don't have to say anything," he told her, and realized his instincts were right, that she didn't want to talk about how she actually knew how to shoot a gun, when she finally faced him at those words.

She stared at him as he lit up and took a draw. When he exhaled the smoke, he made an offer to join him, and she hesitated at first, but then, after a moment, reached out and took a cigarette out of his pack with a rather adorable kind of timidity that seemed out of place from the woman she had been a moment earlier, shooting that Sherry woman like it was nothing. And yet at the same time, it was very much in character for her, just the same.

In kind, Juvia didn't say anything about how Gray and Lyon knew each other, and Gray had a feeling that she was offering him the same courtesy he was offering her.

He let her light her cigarette with his, like the night before, and the two of them leaned back against the brick wall outside Fairy Tail Bar, smoking and tilting their heads up at the cloudy dark sky above.

There was a companionable silence between them that Gray appreciated. Not every moment needed to be filled with words, which was a relief for someone like him, who wasn't all that great all the time with words. They smoked, flicked ash on the ground, sighed smoke into the air and watched it spiral up into the night and disappear.

"Gray," Juvia finally said, and she was looking down at her feet now, at her lovely blue pumps.

"Yeah?" said Gray, taking another drag.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

Gray frowned. "For what? You seemed pretty capable of handling the situation without my help."

"I know but…I'm just…touched…that you were looking out for me like that." Then her head snapped up and she gave him a lopsided grin. "Actually, were you stalking me?"

Gray snorted a laugh and flicked another bit of hot ash onto the ground. "Dunno if I'd call it that. Think I'd rather you'd have left it at me lookin' out for ya."

This made Juvia laugh with him. "Well, thanks for looking out for me, then." Her expression sobered again, like a fall of rain, and she looked sidelong at a nearby trashcan. "People don't…usually do that. At least, not many of the people I know."

Gray considered her as he held his cigarette up but didn't put it to his mouth. His theory that she was on the run from some miserable situation was given more credence here, and with that, came a stronger desire himself to…what? Protect her? Make sure she was kept safe? After all, the woman definitely _could_ look out for herself, but still….

"You know you have a place here, right?" he finally told her, quiet and gentle. "And here, we look after our own. You're one of us now."

Juvia's head snapped up again, and this time her eyes sparkled, a far cry from the coldness of before when she'd had her gun out. Those were…tears.

A moment later she appeared to realize that her eyes had filled and made a small sound and turned away again, hastily wiping at her eyes with the heel of her free hand.

Gray did her the courtesy of making no comment on it. If he was being honest though, he wasn't all that great at comforting other people in their moments of sadness. It killed him to see people cry, but just the same, it made him awkward. Maybe it was his being not very good with expressing himself with words, combined with the fact that there had been people in his life who had tried to comfort him, and used the same words anyone would use, and were therefore empty, and provided no comfort whatsoever. Made him sadder, even, and feel lonelier.

Then Juvia hastily finished her cigarette.

"Well, think I'm gonna go back in," she said, sounding a bit like she had a head cold. And she wouldn't meet Gray's eyes as she drifted past him to head back into the bar. "Thanks again," she added, and then she was gone.

Gray looked after her, as he slowly finished his own cigarette, his insides brimming with a gnawing need, a growing desire. Then he tipped his head back and threw the back of his hand holding his cigarette over his eyes, chest heaving as he found it difficult to breathe.

"Fuck…I dunno if I can take this," his whispered to the night. "Please…just…don't let anything bad happen to her…please…."

He thought of Ur, and of his father and mother, the way he'd watched them die, and how much it broke his heart just thinking about it. He remembered the way Lyon had punched him over and over when he found out what had happened to Ur, how he'd come close to killing him, and Gray hadn't even cared, he'd just let him do what he wanted.

Apparently, that hadn't been enough, and Lyon had continued to nurse his anger for what Gray had done until it had festered into the need to kill him outright.

He let out a beleaguered sigh and took one last puff on his cigarette before tossing it to the ground and grinding it out with his boot.

"Gray?"

Gray looked up, hands tucked in his jeans pockets, and then realized he shouldn't have been surprised, considering the commotion out here.

"Oh. Hey, Erza."

And Erza gave a sigh of relief, putting her gun away. "Glad to see there doesn't appear to be a problem out here," she said. "Thought I heard a gunshot."

Gray massaged the back of his neck. "Yeah well…there _was_."

"Oh? Do explain." Erza raised an eyebrow as she approached him, and Gray wished he'd had it in him to go back inside with Juvia, or maybe find the courage to kiss her, if for no other reason then to get out of getting grilled by Chief Erza Scarlet of the Seventh Precinct—like he was now.

"Was it that Lyon?" she pressed.

"Something like that," Gray reluctantly admitted, and for the sake of at least maintaining public order and preventing any collateral damage Lyon might cause, he recounted what happened as he handed Erza a cigarette.

* * *

Juvia slid back onto a seat at the bar and then Makarov Dreyar slid right in next to her, quite unexpectedly.

"Shot o' bourbon, Mira." Makarov winked at Juvia. "Make that two."

"They're on the house, old man," Mira said cheerily, pouring the drinks. "Juvia's my employee, so she drinks free. And well, you're you." She grinned as she slid the glasses across the polished wood.

"Ooooooh, nice." Makarov laughed as he knocked back the dark, fiery liquid.

Juvia had to laugh at how the old man was impressed by her license to free drinks, and she took a grinning sip in spite of herself.

"You seem to be fitting in pretty swell," Makarov observed, swilling his drink.

"Do I?" Juvia raised her eyebrows in genuine surprise.

"Indeed you do, my dear. And I for one am glad to see it." He drew his white brows together as he considered her more seriously. "We seem to have a habit of picking up strays here, you see."

"Oh? Am I a stray?"

"You have the look of one. But that's nothing to be ashamed of. It's hardly your fault. And besides, blood ties don't necessarily make a family. Though there _is_ my grandson." Makarov chuckled, and they both glanced over at where Mira had gone to get a drink for Laxus, and the two of them were clearly flirting.

Then Juvia's eyes danced about the bar, at the camaraderie that warmed the room. It lit a fire in her heart, one that water couldn't dampen.

Then she looked at Makarov and saw him toast her. She toasted him back.

But she wasn't a stray lamb. A stray tiger, perhaps, but not a lamb.

Even so….

It was getting harder and harder for her to find that cold killer that lived within her, at least where this man was concerned.

She hated it. She had always hated it. Killing for Jose. Pulling the trigger in his name. Regardless if it saved her own skin.

That Sherry Blendy though had been another matter, and it caught of her off-guard to consider the idea of her getting her hands on Gray. Or that Lyon—clearly he and Gray shared a past. She wondered briefly what that could be, and then she found herself wishing she could have another smoke. It had been ages since she'd itched so much for a cigarette. But instead of bad memories of cocaine withdrawal, it encouraged sweeter thoughts…thoughts of Gray looking at her through that haze of smoke.

Juvia took another sip, begging for that buzz.

Then she felt Makarov pat her arm.

"I hope you'll be here a while," Makarov told her kindly before he slid off the stool to go harass Macao and Enno.

Juvia watched him go, feeling the thread of her focus unravelling, and then Lucy hopped up to the seat on the opposite side of her, balancing a cosmo in her hand.

"Hey, Juvia!" she said with the zealousness of someone who was teetering on tipsiness, her pink heels and heart-shaped earrings glittering. "What's shakin'?"

"Hm, not too much, actually." But Juvia smiled as it occurred to her to ask, "Hey, Lucy…how long have you and Natsu been together?"

She nodded to where Natsu was now arm-wrestling with Laxus, the guys around them shouting and taking bets. And even though their brows were set, they were grinning at each other fiercely. Juvia had a feeling Laxus was a shoe-in to win, but Natsu showed the kind of guts you only saw in underdogs.

"A few years, actually," said Lucy, and there was starlight in her eyes as she watched Natsu over her drink.

Juvia realized she didn't have to ask what drew Lucy to him. Nor would she ever have to ask what drew Natsu to her, as he glanced her away after Laxus wiped the floor with him and the both were wiping sweat off their faces. That smile he wore for her wasn't one he'd wear for anyone else, Juvia could tell that.

Someone like Juvia, who was starved for love, could tell that.

She was jerked out of her reverie by Lucy nudging her arm.

"So, tell me…you think you might be into Gray?"

Juvia blinked at her, thrown by the question. "I-Into Gray?"

"Sure. Don't think no one's noticed. I mean, like just a little while ago: you go outside after your set, Gray follows." Lucy put her drink down and leaned toward Juvia conspiratorially. "It's okay. I'm pretty sure he's into _you_."

This surprised Juvia even more. "Really?"

"Yeah. I've never seen him look at a woman the way he does at you. When he thinks no one's lookin' o' course. Gray has a way of…trying to hide how he really feels from people."

"He _is_ very guarded."

"From the little that Gray's told at least me and Natsu, and Erza too, he's had a pretty rough past, done a lotta things he's not too proud of. It's not my place to give you the details…but he _is_ lonely. And since you came here…I've never seen him…I mean…you guys, you always seem to look for each other when the other walks into the room. Maybe not on purpose, or intentionally but…." Lucy gave Juvia a soft smile.

For a moment, Juvia couldn't speak. She had had similar moment with Erza earlier when the two of them had shared a drink.

 _I don't want to do this_ , she heard herself in her head.

"Makarov was telling me…you guys tend to pick up strays here," Juvia said quietly.

"I guess you could say that." Lucy traced a circle on the wood of the bar with her index finger.

"That your story too?"

"More or less. I'm a runaway debutante myself."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. You heard of the Heartfilia family?"

Now that Lucy mentioned it, Juvia realized she had thought Lucy's surname familiar.

"Big banker, my father. Jude Heartfilia. But I couldn't stand it, what he wanted of me. He had this idea that I was gonna marry some rich oil baron and spend the rest of my life devoted to producing male heirs to the Heartfilia family as well as to whatever family I married into. Ha! As if I'd just marry without love. As if I'd marry anyone he'd _picked out_ for me. And be hostess to cotillions and charity balls and croquet matches and tea parties and garden parties and parade around in heavy, frilly dresses and carry on vapid conversations, hanging on the arm of some well-to-do. I wanted to be like my mother and write books! But when she died…Father told me to put that silly nonsense out of my mind. Like he was asking me not to breathe anymore…."

Lucy seemed unable to speak for a moment, retreating to a dark place. Juvia knew that look well enough. It came up on her own face quite a lot when she caught sight of it in a mirror.

"I know what you must be thinking…poor little rich girl…."

"No. I wasn't thinking that. Money doesn't buy happiness, after all. Isn't that what they say?"

This time it was Lucy who looked surprised. And then she laughed and Juvia laughed with her, and for her, part of it was genuine joy at having found a friend in someone like Lucy Heartfilia, and another part was a desperate need to hold back her tears.

 _No. I'm not going to do this._

 _No more heartbreak._

 _I won't be a part of it, not this time._

 _Fuck Jose._

Still, she needed quite a few more drinks to quell that rising panic simmering at the bottom of her stomach. She would think about the consequences of her actions and figure out something to do later. For now, she was going to numb her thoughts until all that fear was washed away.

* * *

"So, you and Juvia, huh?" Erza asked, exhaling a stream of smoke.

"I have _no_ clue what you're talkin' about," Gray said at once, taking a drag on that second cigarette, but not looking at Erza.

He felt her eyes on him though, and that was just as bad.

"She's a very lovely woman," Erza candidly opined. "From what I've gleaned just chatting with her for a little bit. And I think she might fancy you a little." Her tone turned more serious. "She's worth more than a one-night stand. You know that too."

"Yeah, I know," Gray sighed.

"You're allowed to be happy you know, Gray," Erza told him. "It took me a while to realize that too, and I try to tell Jellal that every day."

Her voice cracked, and Gray looked at her. Now her face was turned away, but he could tell she was blinking away tears, thinking about Jellal back at home with his therapist, and not with her.

Gray felt for her. "Hey. It's gonna be okay."

Erza chuckled and shook her head, took one last drag on her cigarette and then flicked it into the bin. "Remember what I told you, okay?"

"What did you say, exactly?"

"Just be clear with her, okay. I know how evasive you can be. And I'll have another word with Mira about this Lyon Vastia. More than that, I'll peg him as a person of interest in investigations back at the office."

And before he could say anything, she went back into the bar same as Juvia. Gray raked his eyes up the brick wall of the building, knowing Juvia was in there, and he felt his heart beat in there with her.

 _If I could just get this shit with Lyon over and done with._

He tossed the cigarette butt aside and left the alley too. Only instead of going back into the bar, he headed for home.

Or he was going to, until Lucy stepped out, a slightly pleading look in her eyes.

"Gray! Hey, are you good to drive?" she asked, taking his hand in both of hers.

"Um…." Gray assessed, and since his last drink he'd smoked with two different people. Yeah, he was definitely sober, at least to drive (of course Erza would argue the adage that if you drive buzzed, you're still driving drunk, but screw that). "Yeah." He ran a hand through his dark, mussed up hair. "Why?"

* * *

Everything was a bit of a haze.

Shit, she hadn't been this in deep down the spiral of an altered consciousness since her last comedown. She had no idea she could still get this drunk. She was only barely aware of it, as otherwise she felt herself crawl through the air as in a dream. She felt sleepy enough.

Voices spoke to her as if through water, but she was at least coherent enough to make out what they said, and she responded with some effort at working her jaw that she'd be fine.

But then…another voice.

His voice.

And his hands, taking her gently by the shoulders, and she did her best to find his face swimming in front of her, to meet his dark eyes, so soft and so kind.

"Juvia? Hey, Juvia? I'm gonna get you home, okay?"

"I…okay."

Juvia acquiesced. Gray was taking her home. _Gray_. That was enough.

She even blushed and beamed, sighing as she swooned forward and Gray caught her against his chest.

"Oh Gray, darling!" she gushed, having no sense of herself. It seemed that in times of heavy drink, another person she might've been more often awakened, one who wasn't afraid to hide how she felt because she didn't have the cage Jose had kept her in crushing her.

And right now, she was so very much in love with Gray Fullbuster.

"Mmmmmm, I like your chest, it's warm," she purred like a cat.

And she heard his laugh, though it was shaky and uncertain.

"Hey now…come on." Gray tugged her toward his truck.

Juvia peeked up at him. "Are you _blushing_ , Gray?" she teased.

"No. Come on, get in."

"Okay, okay…."

Even though he was more or less shoving her into the passenger's seat, she felt him try to be gentle about it. Once she was situated in the seat though, she rested her head against the cool glass of the door window and was half-conked out after that, aware only of the jostling of the truck on the road and the murmur of the radio.

Then the glass fell away and she jumped a little as she tipped forward.

But again, Gray caught her.

"Hey, you're okay," she heard him tell her, draping her arm over his shoulders so he could help her into what felt like a house, but Juvia wasn't really sure of anything anymore.

Lights came on and stabbed her eyes and she gave a little cry.

"Too bright," she muttered.

"Hang on…."

"Mmmm…I love you, Gray…."

"Aw shit, you're drunker than I thought…."

She was dropped onto the soft cushions. As soon as Gray let go of her, she tipped again and literally crashed on his couch. She stretched out her limbs, as her nose filled with the scent of cigarettes and _Gray_ in the couch's fuzzy fabric. And then a warm blanket, soft as a cloud, laid over her. She mmmmmmm'ed and tugged the blanket up to her chin, and barely after that…she really couldn't remember much else, except that sense of being suspended in the velvet darkness that preceded true dreaming.

* * *

This was hardly the first drunk person he'd taken care of, though after the way she'd more or less beaten him the night before at drinking, Gray was a bit stunned to see Juvia the very next night passing out from having had one too many.

Just the same, she couldn't very well be left alone in the state she was in.

After settling her on his couch and watching her as she drifted off, snoring softly, he dropped in the adjacent armchair and lit a cigarette. He nabbed the paperback laid on the nearby side table and found where he'd bookmarked it and sank back into the narrative—one following a man fighting his way out of a jungle—occasionally resurfacing to glance over at Juvia.

Her mouth was slightly hanging open, and there was something actually kind of soothing about her little snores. He found he couldn't get back into his book though as easily every time he tried to, and worse still was when he heard her mutter, " _No…Gajeel…._ "

He glanced over at her, noting the plaintive note in her voice. She was frowning, and even twitching a little, as though she wrestled with some demons in her dreams. He wondered who Gajeel might be, if he was someone important to her…if he was someone she'd lost.

Unconsciously his hand went up to the cross around his neck. Then he stuck the cigarette in his mouth and laid the book aside, swapping it out for the old guitar he had leaning next to his TV. He was terrible at it, but he liked strumming it now and then. He did his best to pluck softly, in some ramshackle semblance of a lullaby, the cigarette smoldering between his teeth. And after playing a little bit, Juvia's muttering subsided, and her body and her brow relaxed out of its restlessness, and she went back to snoring softly, peacefully.

He played on a little longer before he stopped. He smiled to himself as he watched her sleep then, his heart humming and yet at the same time aching. Noiselessly, he reached over to where a strand of her blue hair fell into her face and tucked it back, gentle as a breath. She didn't even stir. But she did make another "mmmmm" of contentment at the touch of his finger to her skin.

"Mmmmm…Gray…Gray, I love you…" she mumbled.

Gray withdrew his hand and looked away, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and tapping the ash of it off into the nearby empty can of beer.

She'd said that earlier too, when he'd been half-carrying her inside. At first, he'd thought it was just her drunken mind, but hearing it again, while she was sleeping, he reconsidered. It didn't scare him any less, but at the same time it drew him to her. It hurt, trying to pull away when everything inside him wanted to be closer to her.

"Fuck," he muttered, and took one last drag on his cigarette before grinding it out on the beer can and jamming it inside its mouth.

Maybe he _was_ falling for her.

And maybe that Gajeel was an ex-lover of hers. Maybe living, maybe dead. But clearly gone.

The man she was running from?

Probably not. She'd said his name like a prayer for salvation, not like a plea for mercy.

He heaved a sigh and got up to put the guitar away before making himself some coffee.

It was gonna be a long night.

* * *

When Juvia emerged from her cloudy visions in sleep, the first thing she noticed was she was curled up under a blanket that wasn't hers, on a couch she didn't recognize, in a room that she didn't recognize either, lit by gray morning light. However, like in the aftermath of a glass vase shattering on the floor, she began to recollect the shards of memory from the night before, sharp as they were in her pounding head. In some ways, emerging from this kind of sleep was reminiscent of when she'd emerged from the haze of her last comedown, when Gajeel had been looking after her.

It'd been like…she'd been clawing her way out of the darkest depths of the cold ocean before finally reaching sunlight and breaching the surface at last, breathing in the morning.

 _That's right…I really hit the bottle hard last night…and then…someone…brought me…here…._

"Mornin', Sleepin' Beauty."

Juvia twisted around and saw…Gray.

"How ya feelin'?" he grunted around the cigarette in his mouth.

"Um…okay…." Meanwhile, inside her chest her heart thumped faster and faster. She was in Gray's half of the duplex. _Gray's_.

Unbidden, a blush crept up and warmed her cheeks.

Gray gave her a lazy smile that didn't help matters where keeping her feelings under wraps were concerned. He held out a plastic bottle of some kind of juice colored electric blue.

Juvia raised an eyebrow. "Gatorade?"

"Rehydration."

"Oh. Right. Of course."

Yes, she'd need something to rehydrate herself quickly after all the drinking she did. She took the bottle he offered her and after a bit of effort managed to sit up on the couch. She was still in her dress from last night, but now it was all crumpled, like her hair, like she felt all over.

"I must look a mess," she muttered, voice hoarse. She twisted open the Gatorade and knocked back a few gulps.

"No worse than anyone else who drank that much, and I've _seen_ worse," Gray told her, still with that lazy smile, like her very existence mildly amused him.

Juvia glanced about the room as she sipped her drink, Gray having stepped back out of the sitting room into what sounded like the kitchen. It was pretty sparse—just the armchair, the side table, the little bookshelf, the TV, and the guitar next to it—the eggshell walls washed out, but her place was even emptier. There was an attempt at warmth here, but in the end, this was a place where someone who was indeed lonely lived.

And she had an idea that if anyone did come over here for intimate activities, it was only for a night. But rather than be turned off by that, Juvia completely understood it. After all, like she and Lucy had been talking about last night, Gray was very guarded, kept things very close to the chest. Of course he never spent the night with anyone for keeps.

"Doin' better?"

Juvia looked round at the door that had just swung open, briefly revealing a kitchen behind him before it shut again. Gray took a sip from the steaming mug in his hand, the cigarette finished and gone.

"A little," Juvia reported truthfully. She sloshed back the rest of the Gatorade and then wiped her mouth off with the back of her hand.

"Think you might wanna eat something?"

"Um…yeah, I'm a bit hungry."

Gray fed her a bowl of oatmeal—something soft that'd go down easy—and watched her from where he lounged in the armchair and lit another cigarette. Presumably he wanted to make sure she could keep food down at this point. Juvia warmed all the more to being looked after like this.

And she admitted as much. Why try to fight it anymore?

Even if she'd been buzzing, she was still committed to the decision she'd made for herself. That she wasn't going to go through with killing Makarov. But then that left the fact that in not too long a time, Jose would start to wonder and check in on her again, by which point she'd be either ignoring his calls or just doing away with her phone altogether. Just drop that thing in a river somewhere. But her silence would concern him further, and he'd send out either Aria, or Sol, or Totomaru, or a combination of two or all three of them after her, whoever was available, to see what the hell was going on.

She should probably be gone by then, but she hated leaving for the very same reason that she wanted to stay and didn't want to kill anyone anymore.

In the meantime, she supposed she at least wanted Gray to know that in the short time she had come to know him, he had made her feel very happy. Much more so than she had in a long time. And that went for the rest of the little family who all hung out at the Fairy Tail Bar…Natsu, and Lucy, and Erza.

She _really_ wanted to stay.

Maybe just one more day.

"Thank you," she said, softly.

"Hey, don't worry about it," said Gray, sounding evasive. Man, he really _was_ guarded. Even a show of gratitude discomfited him a little.

But then again, in the case of her expressing said gratitude, maybe it was something else.

She pushed that aside.

"I mean it." She did her best to keep the break out of her voice as she looked up at him and their eyes met. God, she loved his eyes. They were dark, but so very soulful. "It's been ages since anyone's just…you know…looked after me. Not that I'm like…helpless or anything," she added hastily, digging back into her oatmeal and taking another bite. "I'm just…you know…i's been a while…" she tried to explain in between chewing.

Then Gray said, "Did you mean it?"

Juvia's head snapped up, eyed him watching her while he took another drag on his cigarette. "Mean what?"

Gray exhaled a stream of smoke. "That you love me." His voice was so quiet and so hoarse she hardly heard him.

"Um…." _Shit, did I say that out loud when I was drunk?_

Then Gray chuckled. "'S okay. I know you were hammered."

Some of the tension in Juvia's stomach relaxed. At the same time though, she felt a bit wilty.

So she polished off the rest of the oatmeal and then, clutching the empty bowl tightly in her hands, heart pounding, she whispered, "Gray, I…." The words rose to her lips. "I know…I've only known you for a few days…a weekend at best but…they've been…very happy days." She pursed her lips, bracing herself for what would undoubtedly be his awkward reaction.

And she was right.

"Oh…um…well…."

Then his tone changed to one of concern.

"Hey…you're not thinkin' o' leavin', are ya? You just got here."

"No, no, it's…n-nothing like that," Juvia lied. _Damn it._ "Um…." Her eyes listed on the guitar by the TV. "Do you play much?" she nodded toward the instrument.

"Oh…eh, a little." Gray got shy again, but his smile was still there this time too. "I'm not all that good. Or I used to be better, I should say."

Now that she thought of it, she'd thought she'd heard guitar strings playing in her sleep….

Juvia chanced a glance and saw him ruffling the hair at the back of his head. She felt herself flush and quickly looked away.

"Anyway, I'm glad," Gray finally managed to say. "I like…seeing you…happy."

Excitement swooped in Juvia's stomach.

Oh, she had it bad.

Gray took a hasty last puff on his cigarette and ground the burning tip in a can of beer, where he already had a bouquet going of other used cigarettes. Juvia looked up again when he stood and stretched a little.

"Well, I'm gonna sleep for a bit. It's Sunday, shop's closed, and I didn't get a wink last night."

"Oh…because you were looking after me?" Juvia experienced a lance of guilt.

Gray seemed to sense this as he furrowed his brow. "Uh…well yeah but…don't feel bad about it. I had to make sure you were okay, right?" He gave her his lazy smile again, and Juvia meekly returned it.

So Juvia collected her keys and her thigh holster, and Gray graciously bid her goodbye with a thermos of coffee after she told him she didn't have a coffee maker.

"I know it's a _de_ hydrater, but now you've had some Gatorade, you deserve a perk up."

"Why thank you, Gray."

When Juvia got into her own place, her insides sunk with depression at being back here, alone. But she didn't have time to brood on that. After showering and sliding on a loose t-shirt and yoga pants from her bag, she sat cross-legged on the floor with the thermos of coffee from Gray, trying to think what she was going to do next, now that she was planning to go AWOL on Jose.

* * *

Gray woke up sometime in the midafternoon, blinking in the sunlight pouring through his bedroom window, feeling as rumpled as his clothes (which he hadn't bothered taking off before crashing). He checked his watch—a little after three—and then pushed himself up and swung his legs over the bed and laced up his boots.

Then he stepped outside to the weedy backyard bordered by trees. From the limb of a wide oak, he had an old, worn-out punching bag hung. After he wrapped white cloth around his knuckles he laid into the old bag, pummeling it with the same ferocity that he imagined doing to Lyon if the two of them crossed paths again. There was still a place for Lyon, deep in his heart, he still felt guilty, after all, for the role he'd played in getting Ur killed, and Lyon had never made him forget that, but even so…he wanted so badly to move past this.

With every punch, the life he'd had with Ur and Lyon flickered in his mind's eye…and it was all he could do not to break—which just made him punch harder.

By the time he quit, the sun was starting to set. Sweat poured down his face, made his muscle tank cling to his toned body, made his dark hair damp. He wiped some of it off with the back of his arm as he stood there, catching his breath. The punching bag looked like it was nearly on its last leg.

Then he went in, grabbed his cigarettes and pulled one out with his teeth, pausing as he acknowledged that after this one he'd only have one cigarette left.

"Shit," he muttered.

After he lit up, he cooked up a beefsteak in the frypan for dinner. He ate it from a plate standing in front of the TV where he had the news on. Outside it got dark as he washed off his plate and then grabbed his gun and strapped the shoulder holster on, then threw on a shirt and pocketed his beautiful, nacreous pocketknife from Ur. Nabbing his keys from the hook, he stepped out, pausing on the stoop to look back at Juvia's door next to his.

The lights were off in her place. He wondered if she was out, or if she'd gone to bed early. And even though he couldn't have possibly been able to think of an excuse, he still wanted to see if she _was_ there.

Actually, he just wanted to see her.

He shook his head and walked away, taking the shortcut through the backstreets to the corner store to pick up another pack of cigarettes. Maybe some more beer.

He decided against that though in the end and just grabbed the smokes. He was a little short on cash at the moment until the till at _Happy's_ filled up enough for Natsu and him to split for another payday. Which actually shouldn't be too far off since, as Natsu put it, Juvia had paid for the repairs on her Lamborghini "handsomely". Tip included.

However, now that he thought if it, if that girl was on the run, she'd better think more carefully about throwing around money like that. Actually, if he were her, he'd get rid of the Lamborghini altogether. Living in the neighborhood like this with a luxury sports car parked in the drive of your less-than-kempt duplex raised a few eyebrows, and words like "stolen" and "drug money" and the like got thrown around. Juvia was the last person who deserved to get involved in shit like that.

In fact, she was the last person who deserved to get involved in shit period.

Back out in the dark backstreet and on his way home, everything went oddly quiet for a moment. Gray stopped. The wind whipped through the sort of funnel made by the two brick buildings he was walking between, but other than that, he didn't hear anything.

He went on, but stuck his hand in his jeans pocket and felt for the handle of Ur's knife.

A few more steps, and then the rapid stamp of feet at his back.

Gray whipped around, knife out, dodging the blade that came down towards his face just in time. Instead the blade struck the brick wall behind him, sending sparks flying. In the ringing silence, Gray was met with Lyon's murderous glare, and the two of them stood there, livid eyes locked, both of them catching their breath.

"Lyon…." Gray managed a sardonic, perhaps even eager smile. "'Bout time, you sonofabitch."


	6. Tenerezza

**Chapter Six**

 **Tenerezza**

"Lose the gun," Lyon ordered. "This is a knife fight, got it?"

Gray, never breaking his gaze from Lyon's, reached into his holster and took out his gun, throwing it aside. The silver Desert Eagle clattered on the pavement. "I agree. This is how it outta be."

Lyon's cold eyes flashed like the blade of the knife, a growl underneath his breath. "Sherry nearly died, y'know."

Gray didn't miss the pain burning just underneath his foster brother's icy voice, underneath those frosty eyes. He felt a flicker of sympathy for him. Whatever he was now, pushing drugs and the like for Lamia Scale, the two of them had still grown up together. Even if they'd constantly been competing, even if Lyon blamed him ruthlessly and mercilessly for Ur's death, he was still his foster brother. And it was clear that whatever he was doing with that Sherry Blendy, he genuinely cared about her…had probably waited anxiously while whoever had worked on her tried to keep her from bleeding out. It was almost comforting to know the man could still care about people.

But then Lyon sneered, his lip curling. "All right. I'm done talkin'. I wanna see your knife."

Gray took the knife out of his back pocket and snapped it open like Lyon's. He held the blade out with one hand, and made a little beckoning motion with the index fingers of his other hand.

"Come at me."

"You know you'll have to kill me if you wanna survive this."

Lyon took a few slow steps back and held his knife out same as Gray, and the two of them started to circle each other slowly in the backstreet.

"I don't wanna kill you, Lyon," Gray said, and he meant it. "But…I'll do what I have to."

They stopped, and for a moment, everything was still except for the breeze blowing through the broken windows of the drafty abandoned factories out here on the edge of town, soughing under the alley. It lifted their hair as they stared cold daggers at each other—

Lyon lunged and Gray leapt back, throwing up an arm to block. Lyon shoved against him, but Gray ground his heels into the gritty asphalt underneath his feet. If he didn't get on the offensive though, there was no way he was gonna live through this.

And for all the dark moments he'd spent, praying, _begging_ for death…he _wanted to live_ through this.

"Do you realize I've been dreaming of this since the day we last saw each other, when you told me how you got Ur killed?" Lyon gnarled, eyes boring into Gray's.

"You don't have to do this Lyon."

"Begging for your life? You pathetic fuck."

"No, I just want you to understand…I never meant for what happened to Ur…."

Ur's face flickered in Gray's mind, the last smile he saw her give before the Delioras killed her…all because of him…because of his anger and his stupidity….

"Face it, you've been praying for death for years," Lyon jeered. "I can see it in your eyes. My coming here's a mercy…."

"Not anymore, Lyon…I'm not…."

 _Natsu. And Erza. And Lucy._

 _And…._

Gray gave a roar and managed to shove Lyon back with enough force that he slammed him back into the opposite brick wall. Lyon gave a cry of pain, but immediately threw himself back at Gray. Gray however managed to get a hold of Lyon's wrists and held him off, leaving them locked again, pushing against each other.

Lyon gave a yell and threw his entire weight against Gray, which didn't knock Gray into a wall, but managed to knock him off balance, and the two of them fell tangled to the ground.

Gray had scarcely hit the ground when Lyon was already yanking himself away.

"No!"

He threw his weight back at Lyon, which made them roll over the cracked blacktop, squirming, their arms becoming interlocked until they each had their knife blades inches from each other's faces.

A feral growl rose out of Gray's throat, sweat beading on his forehead, his heart slamming in his chest, his adrenaline skyrocketing, survival instincts kicking in.

Lyon's knife just scarcely nicked the skin at Gray's cheek, and Gray's knife twitched just shy of slicing through Lyon's flaring nostril. But the cold, sharp point of Lyon's poked Gray, and Lyon's mouth broke into a wolfish grin, all teeth.

 _Shit._

Gray gave another yell and threw his knee up, kicking Lyon in the stomach. Lyon had the wind knocked out of him and fell back, at which point Gray rolled them again so that he was over him and could bring the knife down.

But then Lyon blocked with his arm, as well as his leg, and tried to throw Gray right back off of him.

"Damn it!"

"Have you no shame?"

Gray hissed through his teeth at him.

Lyon seemed to only enjoy it more, the savagery he was bringing out of his opponent. "Remember when we used to fight like this as kids?"

"Lyon," Gray warned.

"Ur watching us… _teaching_ us…." Lyon's glare sharpened. "She _told_ you not to go, you _idiot_! But you never listened! Half the time you treated her like shit! And after everything she did for you! YOU SHOULDA DIED RIGHT ALONGSIDE YOUR PARENTS, YOU FUCK!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Gray yanked them both up and threw Lyon against the wall again, both of them on their knees. But this time, Lyon managed to cling to him and took Gray with him. Gray tried to regain control and drag them both up to their feet, but Lyon yanked him back down.

Then Gray lost sight of Lyon's blade—

An ungodly sharp pain shot through his side, and Gray seized up, choking on his breath. His whole body went limp, the pain burrowing deep inside of him….

He looked up at Lyon, and the way Lyon smiled at him, at the wicked triumph in his eyes, as it dawned on Gray that he'd just been stabbed in the gut. But instead of letting himself collapse backward, Gray took advantage of Lyon thinking he was about to win: he grit his teeth against the pain and headbutted Lyon in the forehead so hard that Lyon gave a cry and fell back, half-conked.

With a pained gasp, Gray yanked out Lyon's knife and then bent over him and put the blades of both knives in a crisscross shape just beneath the pulse of Lyon's Adam's apple.

Lyon, coming back to himself, blinked up at him and quickly grasped his situation. "You fuck."

"Now…cut this shit out," Gray panted. "Just let it go…it's over…and if I see you come near _any_ of my friends…I swear to God I'll…."

"You'll what?" Lyon spat.

In answer, Gray took away Lyon's knife from his throat, held it up so the bastard could see, and before Lyon could utter a sound, jammed the blade into his lower leg.

Lyon screamed, and Gray spat in disappointment: _he'd_ just been gut-stabbed and _he_ hadn't cried like a bitch about it, even with his adrenaline working to block the majority of the pain.

"Fuck, man! Agh! Fine…I'll go, just…gahhhhhh…!"

"Swear to me…! Swear it…!"

He went ahead and jammed the other knife into Lyon's other lower leg.

"Gaaaaaaaaaah! Fuck, I swear, okay, I swear! Agggggghhhhhhhhh!"

At last, Gray yanked both blades out of Lyon's legs. He fell back, gasping for breath and staring at the two knife blades…both of them bloody…one with the name "Lyon" engraved in the handle, the other "Gray".

Ur had been glowing at the looks on their faces when they'd opened those wrapped boxes and saw those pearlescent knives for the first time, back when they were pristine and new.

Then, with an effort, using one hand clawing at the brick under the bridge, he practically crawled up to his feet. With one hand cradling his belly, he tossed Lyon's knife back to him.

"Here…" he gasped.

"Fuck you…" Lyon gasped back.

As far as Gray was concerned though, while he wouldn't kill him, he wouldn't save him either. That was up to Lyon.

Because he'd seen too, in Lyon's eyes, that he too had a part of himself inside that wanted to die.

Even so, he had this crazy idea that Ur was watching over them, shaking her head the way she used to, and in the end, she would look out for them both, same as she used to when they'd both come home covered in scratches and bruises after pummeling each other in the snow.

Gray pocketed his own knife, blood and all, and then picked up his gun and holstered it. Of course, he'd been stupid enough to leave his phone at home to charge it. Regardless, he had to get…somewhere he could get help…if he could make it….

He limped on down the wall, leaving Lyon behind.

"LIKE HELL THIS IS OVER!" Lyon shouted behind him. "GRAAAAAY!"

Gray stopped then, and closed his eyes as he gulped for air. "Lyon…please let it go…."

He heard Lyon give another pained gasp behind him, but he couldn't be sure if it was from his stab wounds or from something else.

Either way, if Gray didn't keep moving…he was gonna bleed out.

Just the same, he only managed far enough to get out of Lyon's sight, before he collapsed on the pavement in between another two buildings just a block away from the hospital on the corner.

The last thing he saw was his own blood mixing with the nearby puddle of water…and just a flicker of blue…and his name…cried out in the voice of an angel in pain.

" _Gray_!"

* * *

Earlier that morning, Juvia had needed some fresh air.

After she'd finished her coffee from Gray, she washed the thermos in the sink and set it on a towel on the counter. Once it dried she'd take it back to Gray. She tried not to think about the increasing possibility that she'd be telling him goodbye as she did this.

He'd asked her not to leave. Despite how closed off he could be, he'd sounded like he'd be really sad if she left.

As she thought on this, she went through her stock of weapons and checked them again, if only to give her something to do with her hands while she thought, other than uselessly pace. She even worked out later on in the afternoon, stuffing her pillowcases with sand from the nearby creek and hanging them from the ceiling so she could kickbox with them.

When she'd worked herself out enough, she caught the sound of pounding coming from outside and, as she stepped over to the window, mopping up sweat off her brow with another towel, she caught sight of Gray outside laying into a punching bag hanging from an oak tree. For a moment she watched him, fascinated by the strength of him.

Then her cell went off.

Juvia looked at it.

 _Jose._

Her thumb hovered over the "answer" icon on the screen.

But years of being trained like a dog took over in a Pavlovian way and her thumb twitched and hit that dreaded green circle before she could think about it for much longer.

"Hey," she answers quietly, still watching Gray.

 _"Juvi baby…."_

Juvia shivered. He was getting impatient. He only called her "Juvi" or "Juves" like that when she started to annoy him, regardless if he still used that same oil-slick tone.

"Jose…."

 _"You wanna fill me in why you haven't blown the old Dreyar fucker away yet and come back to me?"_

Juvia fumbled desperately with her thoughts, trying to find a convincing lie, all while watching Gray beat up that punching bag like he wanted to kill it. She pressed her palm to the glass pane of the window, wishing she could run to him…run to him and just…hide. Something about him made her feel so safe if nothing else.

 _"Your silence is more telling than words, dear Siren. Do you need me to send you a_ reminder _of who you belong to?"_

"N-No…."

 _"Good. Then you listen here…my little bitch…you had better get on this job quick…otherwise I may have to reschool you in a few things…."_

"No…please don't…."

 _"Then again, maybe I will anyway just because I love to hear you beg…."_

"Please don't…."

 _"Aw fuck…I've already got ya begging. Well…guess I can be merciful and give you one more chance. I still have faith that my Siren would never betray me, after all…."_

The phone clicked off. She had been dismissed.

She was expected then to get her act together and do what she came here to do.

Gray finished beating up the punching bag and leaned against the trunk of the oak tree to catch his breath. Juvia watched him, wishing she could cling to his toned body the way his sweat-soaked tank was, while at the same time she clutched the phone to her chest, where her heart beat with both desire and fear.

The hand she still had pressed to the window curled into a fist, and suddenly she found it hard to breathe.

She had to get away before she got too heartsick or gave way to uncontrollable weeping. So she showered again and then pulled on a casual dress and stepped out to take a walk for a bit, her thigh holster lashed to her thigh with her Sapphire tucked into it.

In some ways, maybe she was looking to get into a fight. A real fight to work off her frustration. Punching and kicking sandbags hadn't been enough.

Actually, if she could have Gray, even just for one night, maybe….

God, that was low.

For her, one-night stands were only components of her job, they never had anything to do with satisfying her sex drive. Yet, at the same time, it wasn't _just_ her sex drive…she wanted just one night at least to be spent in the bliss of the company of someone who did seem to care about her, if not deeply enough to love her given how little time they'd shared, then at least enough to bed her gently. To bed her in a way that would please her, to not have the pressure of it being for work block everything out.

That was why she always had to fake it, after all. Because…really…she _was_ faking it.

That was nowhere near as bad as the killing, but it wasn't exactly on her list of experiences she wanted to remember.

What she wanted to remember…was something sweeter.

Before…before what?

If she wasn't going to kill Makarov, she'd have to leave.

No, she couldn't drag someone so good like Gray, or anyone else at the Fairy Tail Bar, like Lucy or Natsu or Erza…who'd have her hands tied by the law if she found out what Juvia really was….

She couldn't drag them into her shit.

It had been a long time since she'd experienced pain this sharp. Not since Gajeel left. And she found herself wondering about him too, imagining that maybe at least, this was her chance to get away same as he had when she'd let him go. Cut and run while Jose still thought that she was in his corner.

As these thoughts whirled in her head, she wound her way through the backstreets of Magnolia, to a neighborhood of little storefronts and corner stores, brightly lit and stark against the night that had emerged around her.

At the corner though was a massive hospital block.

 _Well, at least people'll know where to go if they get badly hurt around here_ , Juvia thought with a bitter smile, remembering many a night where she herself hadn't managed to flee in the aftermath of making a kill unscathed and had to limp to aid as soon as possible without the benefit of be able to call for an ambulance (for whatever reason, Porla hated when his people did that, perhaps because ambulances drew more attention).

Two blocks further down, she turned a corner into a back alley, starting to get tired and was just thinking of heading back to the duplex when she heard a crash and looked up to find someone who had first might've been a stumbling drunk, but she realized a second later that it was someone who was badly hurt.

And that someone was—

"Gray!"

Juvia's blood ran cold, and she dashed across the pavement, down the alley toward him without even having to think about it. Suddenly nothing else mattered except Gray—kind, closed off, but strong Gray—had gotten himself hurt. Undoubtedly he'd had another run-in with Lyon Vastia and this time things had gone even worse than before.

At her cry, Gray had lifted up his head, as though calling out to him had kept him from giving in and passing out. As though seeing her gave him life.

"Juvia…." He dragged himself up to his feet using one hand on the brick wall, his other hand holding his side. "You…." Despite his efforts however, his knees buckled and he slid back down to the ground, panting. "Agh…fuck…."

"Oh Gray!" Juvia managed to reach him just in time, when she tried to catch him instead she just slid down the wall with him awkwardly. "What in the hell happened?!" she demanded, her voice cracking.

Gray, slumped back against the wall, tried to give her that same lazy smile he'd given her that morning, but his face was far too pale for Juvia to take any comfort in it.

"Ah…Lyon…jumped me…bastard…."

"Let me see."

Gray's dark eyes were bright, yet seemed to fade with a feverish thirst. Then, wordlessly, he lifted his hand away from his side, his palm coated in blood.

Juvia swore.

"Coulda been…worse…" Gray tried to point out, but the clamminess of his skin didn't back him up all that well. "I mean…it's not deep…."

"Well either way, you're not getting any better here. Come on." Juvia made to take Gray underneath his arm and help him up.

She stopped mid-lift when Gray gasped in pain.

"Gray…." Juvia didn't think it was possible for her heart to ache as much as it did now.

Gray caught her eye and looked inexplicably apologetic. "I'm sorry…I didn't want…you to get…involved…." His voice broke off into a groan of pain, his breathing ragged and shallow. He was whiter than snow, if that were possible.

Juvia's throat closed up, but she swallowed hard and managed to say, "It's fine. I can take care of myself."

"I know…but I…I mean…still don't…wanna see you…hurt…." Gray panted, his chest rising and falling rapidly. But still he tried to smile at her at the same time. "I don't…want anything…bad…to happen to you…."

Biting her lip, eyes filling, Juvia squared her shoulders. "Well, right now, _you're_ the one who's hurt, so let me help you."

Gray huffed a sort of laugh, even as he wheezed in pain again. "Okay. C'mon then…help me up…."

Juvia nodded and lifted Gray up underneath his arm. Her knees gave for a moment as his weight sagged against her, but she rallied and managed to heave him up, bracing his arm around her shoulders, wrapping her other arm around his waist.

"Do you know…where we're going…?" Gray managed to ask.

"The E.R. on the corner." Juvia gave him a sidelong glance and then looked ahead again. "I'm guessing you knew it was there?"

"Yeah I…knew it was somewhere around here…agh…guess you saw it…while you were out…?"

"Luckily. Because I'm also guessing you'd rather an ambulance weren't involved in all this?"

"Well it…helps to keep a low profile…heh…but…how'd you…?"

"I've been there," Juvia admitted darkly.

"I see…" said Gray, and Juvia swallowed another lump in her throat, as she felt something like thread weave through her heart and then stitch it together with…his.

If she could keep it beating.

Like hell she'd have it otherwise.

* * *

Gray was a bit apprehensive of the doctor who ended up attending him after he came out of the OR. He hadn't required _major_ surgery, but his situation still had to be handled beneath the glare of a surgery light, a group of masked surgeons surrounding him as they stopped the bleeding, examined the depth and severity of the damage caused by the wound, and then patched him back up. Basically, there just wasn't any fuss with putting him under anesthesia.

At the very least though they did give him painkillers while they poked into him.

He was a bit apprehensive though of the doctor who came in after to examine his stitches because of how young she looked. She seemed scarcely out of college, never mind her having graduated with a medical doctorate.

She even wore her blue hair in pigtails, which only served to make her seem even younger.

Just the same, she quickly proved her competence with her very no-nonsense, clinical approach.

"Dr. Wendy Marvell," she introduced herself, her hands in the pocket of her while lab coat. "We get a little stab wound, did we, Mr. Fullbuster?"

"Um, yeah. Somethin' like that," Gray answered warily, as he laid back on the surgery table, bare-chested, propping himself up on his elbows.

He hated having to have to come here. Of course he _did_ have to, otherwise he'd have died for sure, but still, hospitals meant paperwork and nosy questions. And, on occasion, a headache for Erza.

For instance, in the aftermath of dealing with the Lullaby gang by going undercover with Natsu under Erza's request, Gray and Natsu both had come out with more than a few bloody scrapes. Even though they hadn't required even minor surgery, they still had to get treated at a clinic, and they'd still had to answer questions for the record and deal with the paperwork for administration and billing, and Erza still had to oversee the whole thing. Not that she was unhappy to do it, she cared about them the way any big sister would, and wanted to make sure they were okay, but even so, being in a hospital was just exhausting. Gray was more than well-acquainted with that fact.

And this fatigue showed on the face of Dr. Wendy Marvell, which further served to instill a little more confidence in her. Because it wasn't the sort of fatigue where she looked too tired to do her job, or even too jaded to come off as entirely heartless. More it was that she looked like she possessed a heart worn by what she had seen, but even so, persevered.

Gray admired that in people. Again, there was something about Juvia that was like that too.

"Any pain?" Dr. Marvell asked as she picked up his chart and skimmed over it.

"Nah," he lied, but Marvell raised her eyebrows when his breath hitched at the slight twinge his newly sewn-up wound gave him as the painkillers from the surgery were starting to wear off.

"Here," said Marvell, but she didn't sound entirely annoyed or impatient with him. More like a parent saying, "Oh you kids."

She snapped on a set of gloves and prepared a syringe of more painkillers and injected it into his arm. Gray hissed as the needle penetrated his skin, which was a little lame considering, but just the same.

After she disposed of the needle and the gloves, she told him to come back right away if he started to bleed at all. However, when she assessed his stiches for herself, she did seem satisfied that that wasn't likely. And she told him that the additional dose of painkillers she had just injected him with would help with that. In which case she also wrote up a scrip for some narcotic pills that would help him if the pain got bad again while he was at home, advising him to also come back in right away if after the cycle of treatment he was still experiencing pain. That, and he should also come back right away if there was any redness, swelling, or weeping.

Not that Gray didn't already know all of this, but he nodded for her benefit. He thanked her as she handed him the folded prescription and he tucked into his jeans pocket.

After that, now came the part where Marvell would get into how important it was not to get himself involved in knife fights and other forms of street violence and to call 911 the next time he was faced with that kind of danger out there.

Only she didn't do that.

At first, Gray was hesitant to ask why, but Marvell seemed to anticipate this, actually, as she said:

"And don't worry about me grilling you about the circumstances of your injury. I got a call from Chief Scarlet. We've made what you call a kind of…arrangement."

"Oh."

"Nothing involving money either, so no need to feel bad about it either."

And for the first time since first introducing herself, Marvell's mouth quirked just slightly into a small smile.

A smile which Gray returned, silently thanking Erza for thinking of everything, as always.

While Marvell went and entered a few things into the nearby computer, Gray ran his hand over the new bandages on his wound again, oddly comforted by the faint pulsing throb he felt underneath. Not one that hurt, just one that reminded him that he was still alive.

Soon, there'd be nothing but a scar—to add to his collection. At least it didn't feel like he was getting stabbed again every time he took a breath.

Then he heard a gasp from the open door.

Gray looked up and saw Juvia standing there with a nurse who had clearly gone to fetch her. Without taking her eyes off of him, Juvia handed the nurse the empty paper cup of what Gray assumed had been filled with some sort of comforting hot drink that she must've nervously sipped on while sitting out there waiting to hear about his condition.

Apart from the gasp though, when she stepped the room, the nurse stepping in discreetly behind her and going over to speak to Dr. Marvell in a hushed voice, Juvia approached Gray with a more professional sort of air, and huffed much like how Marvell had, and she actually did shake her head. Gray noticed too that over her other arm she was carrying both his shirt and his shoulder holster with his gun in it, his bloody muscle tank having been stripped off and discarded.

"Well, seems you're still alive. Not that I didn't think you wouldn't be, once we got you here. They give you a transfusion too?"

"Somewhere in there," he answered, as she clearly noticed that he was no longer alarmingly white.

Yeah, this girl definitely knew a thing or two about scrapes with death. She hadn't even flinched at the sight of his wound, though her face had pinched with pained concern as she'd breathed out, "Fuck."

After the gun, and everything else, he found himself wanting more and more to…well…shield her, actually. Stupid and cliché as that was, it was something he genuinely felt for her. He couldn't remember the last time—if ever—he had felt a protective urge like this this strongly.

"Hey," he said, his voice sounding like a deflating balloon.

 _Just great._

And then Juvia rolled her eyes, let out a breath and shook her head. And when Marvell and the nurse turned from the computer to address her, she said, "Thank you for your help."

"Of course," said Marvell crisply. "If you'll excuse us, we'll just fetch Mr. Fullbuster's paperwork then?" And she and the nurse stepped from the room. Gray wondered a little anxiously if they thought that Juvia was his girlfriend and they were also doing the courtesy of giving them a moment alone.

Which, in spite of himself, the moment it was just the two of them, Gray avoided looking at her.

But Juvia gave another sigh and came a little closer. "Oh Gray…look at you," she said as she laid his shirt and shoulder holster with his gun over the back of a chair, giving him more of a glimpse of how worried she really had been, experience with guns and death be damned.

Which made Gray raise his eyes again. "What…you mean my lovely little scars all over me?"

Juvia's eyes slid over his chest and toned stomach, as if tracing the thread of all those white pale scars, trying to read the stories in them. Then her eyes alighted on the glittering cross around his neck…his father's cross.

Suddenly self-conscious again, Gray finally decided to try and push himself up into a sitting position, though not without a little smarting protest from his wound, the additional does of painkillers still not having quite kicked in yet.

"Gray…."

"I'm fine…."

Juvia withdrew, and Gray immediately regretted sounding harsher than he meant to.

He tried to smooth it over.

"Sorry," he muttered.

But then Juvia took a step toward him again. "Gray, I…."

Gray met her eyes, and she seemed lost for words. A spark passed between them, the same spark that hard arced between them when Gray watched her sing.

"Thank you," he finally said, voice hoarse. "For helping me out. I mean…if you hadn't been there…I…." He heaved a sigh. Why did he have to suck at this?

He tried again.

"Sorry to scare ya," Gray told her softly. "I'll try not to do it so much."

Juvia took yet another step, and now he could smell her soft rainy scent. Gray's first instinct was to draw away, just out of habit, but something about Juvia, that light in her eyes, like jewel-bright sunlight in the ocean, kept him close. Drew him in even, the way she kept drawing him in, over and over…like the pull of the ebbing tide on the shore.

His eyes dropped briefly on the look of her breasts nestled in her dress, and that spark was stoked, a strong flame slowly devouring him from within and threatening to consume him. A fire that took a hold of him in his chest and in his groin.

He swallowed as he lifted his eyes to hers again, finding it was getting a little harder to breathe again…and he became aware of the way Juvia was breathing too.

Timidly at first, but then with a little more self-assurance, as if she felt she needed to be careful, she reached out and laid her fingertips on his chest, right where his heart was beating…faster.

Without really thinking about it, and just doing it because he wanted to, he reached up and laid his hand over the hand she had splayed over his skin, and there was a sweet and glittering longing in her eyes that could only be described as…magic.

He smiled lazily at her again. It was the first time anyone had ever made him smile like that, like he felt suave and shy and the same time.

"C'm'ere," he invited.

And come she did, as if he'd cast a spell of entrancement on her. She leaned in…and the rain came with her…a sudden fall of rain upon the cracked soil of the ailing, arid desert.

Their lips met, brushing against each other at first, like before, but this time, they came back together. They each of them tested the waters, and Gray's chest got hotter, and he leaned into the kiss, and Juvia did the same. He felt the small hand she had on his chest and her other hand both gently slide around his waist as she pulled closer to him and he shivered.

And he returned her embrace, slipping his arms around her and holding her at the small of her back, and he kissed her again, drinking her like a man dying of thirst. She smelled so wonderful, like her smell of rain and softness. Like rain after a drought…the touches of her skin, fluttering and hesitant as they were at first, were a sweet balm to how much he hurt on the outside and the inside.

They kissed, again and again, rough as the seas, yet at the same time fiercely gentle. Gray even growled a little in his throat, as something as primal yet beautiful as the need to make beautiful love to a beautiful woman and make her feel loved flooded and overwhelmed his heart.

Then she pressed herself up against him, as she responded favorably, gleefully even, to the kisses he was sharing with her, and drew him into her for more, more, more, their warm breaths in between growing ever more shallow and desperate.

Gray's hands wandered up her back, holding her even closer, wanting to pull her inside of him. Riding the wave of desire, he wandered from her lips to her cheek, and then planted kisses along down to the hollow of her neck, feeling her jumping pulse, burrowing in the rain scent of her hair, her soft skin.

Juvia gave a small moan and arched her back slightly, pressing into him even more, clutching him more and more tightly, all while Gray's lips met the skin of her shoulder and the strap of her dress. Then he stopped, catching his breath as he touched his forehead to her collarbone. He felt her pause and catch her breath too, sliding her hands back up to his shoulders and wrapping them around the back of his neck instead, spearing her fingers through his dark hair, clutching him as if she longed to cradle him like that in her arms. This only increased his reinvigorated eagerness to take her into a bedroom, somewhere, anywhere, and see what other sounds he could get her to make.

His heart throbbed in his chest, and he could feel Juvia's heart throbbing too, and his mind fumbled with the ecstasy racing through it, and for the moment the only thing he could do with any coherence was hold Juvia even closer to him, hold her as close to him as he possibly could.

After years of sailing through icy, stormy seas, the waters had calmed beneath the sun, and he had drifted into a place he could truly call a safe harbor. He knew that now.

"Gray?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you…? I mean…." Juvia raised her head and relaxed her arms around him slightly, pulling back to look at him.

Gray followed her lead and did the same, and the two fixed each other with each other's eyes.

Juvia reached up and brushed her fingertips along the line of Gray's cheek, drifting down to trace the line of his jaw. Gray experienced an ache in his chest that Juvia's closeness appeared to remedy, and at the same time made the ache grow more painful.

"I…aw fuck…." Gray licked his lips, mouth dry.

This was a mistake.

He tugged away from her and looked away.

"Gray?"

"I can't…um…."

"You…don't want to…?"

"No…it's not that…."

Then Juvia reached out and cupped his face in one hand, coaxing him to look at her. It was hard to resist her as she idly ran the pad of her thumb over his cheekbone.

"What is it then?" she asked him, her blue eyes earnest.

Gray tried to explain. "It's just that…."

 _It's just that I have a habit of losing people who are important to me. The way I live, even now, could still get_ you _killed. I know you can take care of yourself, but even so…._

"I just can't…."

"Gray…."

Juvia leaned in close again, and he felt powerless to keep her from kissing him again.

"Ahem."

They both froze and then looked round to find Marvell back in the doorway with Gray's paperwork. She had a cross between an unimpressed and amused look on her face.

"Am I interrupting?" she asked ironically.

Gray and Juvia looked at each other and then withdrew from each other again, both of them looking away and going slightly red in the face. Gray, for his part, scratched nervously at his face with his finger.

The corner of Marvell's lip curled just a little. "You might wanna take it easy, Mr. Fullbuster. Your stiches haven't been in for very long."

"Yeah, sure."

"I have your paperwork here." Marvell waved the folder in her hands and then laid it on the table near the door. "Both of you, I hope you have a pleasant rest of your evening, and again, anything happens, don't hesitate to check back in. If you'll excuse me. It was good to meet you." And with a flip of her blue hair she disappeared back into the corridor.

Gray slid off the operating table and grabbed his shoulder holster with his gun in it and strapped it back on, and then pulled on his shirt, leaving it unbuttoned. His and Juvia's eyes met again, and he wished he could say something, anything, so she'd know that it wasn't that he didn't want to be with her, that it was just….

"Shit…." Gray sighed. "Come on," he grunted, feeling for his new cigarettes to make sure they were still in his shirt pocket. "We should head back."

"Back?"

"Home."

"Home…."

Realizing the implications of what he'd said, he cleared his throat and clarified, "To the duplex."

"Oh." Juvia turned crestfallen, aware that he had no intention of them sleeping in the same half of the house.

It was then that outside, the air rumbled with an impetus of thunder, followed by a torrent of pouring rain.


	7. Fuocoso

**Chapter Seven**

 **Fuocoso**

Perhaps it was better this way. Given her reason for being here, she had no right to love , it was just a matter of whether or not she wanted to come clean before leaving.

At least with Gray.

She was so exhausted the night before when she got home (Gray had offered her his shirt to keep her dry in the downpour but she'd gently pushed it away), that after the two of them had shared one last look at each other on the front stoop of the duplex, making her all the more aware of how complicated things had suddenly grown between them, she'd almost immediately crashed on her air mattress the moment she locked her door behind her.

In the morning, she was awoken by the klaxon of her cell. This interrupted not only her peaceful slumber, but the morning left peaceful in the aftermath of the storm in the night.

And there, on the caller ID screen, was Jose's name.

Groaning, she awkwardly rolled onto the floor and gained her feet, whereupon she stamped out of the house in her negligee, shoelessly pounding the grass and dirt damp from last night's rainfall, all the way down to the nearby creek, she wound up her arm and then hurled the jittering, clanging phone into the water. Watching the thing sink, its ring garbled beneath bubbles, she felt the vise around her heart loosen somewhat.

"Enough."

Then she turned on her heel and trudged back to the duplex, paying more heed to where she walked considering she was barefoot. Inside, she stripped and stepped into the shower, and when she stepped back out with her feet as well as the rest of her now fresh and clean, and this only further improved her mood.

The only thing that made her thoughts sink back into the depths of sadness was Gray.

On the one hand, Gray appeared to return her feelings. On the other, he was still averse to an actual relationship. She could see that he was the sort of guy who didn't do relationships, at least not close romantic ones, but even so.

There was that small piece of her that beyond her guilt, beyond her circumstances, she desperately wanted to be with him, if only so she could at least know what it was like to be happy for a little while.

She was allowed to at least want that, wasn't she?

Logically, seeing as how she'd just chucked her phone into the creek, and at this very moment she was more than sure that alarms were going off in Jose's head at the fact that this time she hadn't answered his call. Then again, maybe he was giving her the benefit of the doubt. The _again_ , she doubted that her phone had lasted long enough for him to be able to leave a voicemail message before the water ruined the hardware.

So, _again,_ he was probably at that very moment trying to work out why he couldn't get through to her.

After she pulled on a clean bra and underwear, and then her music note t-shirt and her yoga pants, she hugged herself as panic started bubbling painfully in her stomach. She started to feel slightly sick in fact, even though a moment ago she was ravenous for breakfast.

 _Oh Gray…if I could just stay with you…how I wish I could…._

Her heart ached for it as though someone were slowly wrenching it out of her chest.

Juvia very forlornly and unenthusiastically pulled a box of her granola bars toward her in her little kitchen, but right then, she heard a knock at her front door.

Frowning, she stepped over to see who it was by peeking through the peephole first, an irrational part of her mind born of her fear jumping to the possibility that Aria or Sol or Totomaru, or even Jose himself, was on the other side.

But no.

It was Gray.

Her aching heart leapt, willing itself to live just a little longer.

She opened the door to find him standing there with two mugs of what looked like coffee, a smoldering cigarette tucked in the corner of his mouth.

"Morning." He nodded at her.

Juvia nodded back. "Good morning."

Gray held one of the coffees out to her. She noticed that there was an earnestness just underneath his otherwise standoffish and reserved demeanor.

"Can we talk?" he asked, the cigarette bobbing as he spoke.

Juvia took the coffee he offered her. It warmed her hands that she just realized were rather cold.

"Yeah," she said, "of course we can talk."

* * *

The two of them sat together on the front stoop of the duplex. Gray took a drag on his cigarette, now holding it between his two forefingers as he used both hands to clutch his hot mug of coffee.

Juvia cradled her own mug in much the same way, sans a cigarette. Though something about her gave him the sense that she might be craving one.

So, he asked, "Uh…you wanna smoke?"

"No. Thank you though." Juvia blew timidly on her coffee. "Um…how's your um…injury? Does it hurt?"

"Nah. Painkillers help."

"Good. Good."

Something was definitely off. Gray had a good guess as to what was the cause.

"Listen…" he sighed, with an effort.

She deserved an explanation. It would mean reopening old wounds, but, he had come to a decision about this last night, when he'd lain awake thinking about how sad she'd looked as he told her goodnight and left her alone: that not giving her an explanation of why he was so reluctant for a relationship with her that he otherwise very much craved actually hurt him more than those old wounds—wounds he'd believed could never be outdone in how painful they were.

And she looked up at him when he spoke now, with such open expectation that for a moment his throat closed and he couldn't go on. But he swallowed, took another deep breath, and pressed forward. Though he took another puff on his cigarette for good measure.

"When I was little…" he began, tapping off ash, "I…well, I was living with my parents. You know. Just a normal kid with a normal family. Actually, I was born in a house further upstate, in the mountains. I remember the winters there. So white, and so pretty. My father and I got into so many snowball fights, and Mom always made this special hot cocoa that for the life of me I haven't been able to make myself, not with the same taste as hers. It was the best.

"But…then when I was about eight, we had to move…I guess money got hard cuz…when we came down here…Mom and Dad sometimes seemed a bit sad…especially Dad when he'd get home…. And then…there was this time where I found a gun…in Dad's dresser drawer…."

"Your Silver Desert Eagle?"

"Yeah. That one. Anyway, he got pretty pissed at me…and I mean…I was no angel as a kid, but I'd never gotten him _that_ mad before…. 'Course I realize now he'd been scared I'd hurt myself or worse. That and…well…wasn't long before it became clear that things had gotten so bad that he'd felt he needed a gun as a last resort to protect his family…but…he'd _hated_ that he'd needed it. Just the same, he was willing to risk that…if he could keep me and Mom safe.

"Only he couldn't…."

There it was, the painful lump in his throat as it closed again. He swallowed and soldiered on. Still, it was hard as the memories started flickering in his mind's eye, nearly as fresh as when he'd first lived them.

"This one night…we were all in the kitchen…Mom was making dinner…and Dad was tryin' to help with my homework but…I guess we all just had the giggles or something cuz we were laughing more than anything else…I don't remember what about…I just remember we were laughing…."

Gray's voice cracked and broke and he swallowed again.

"Gray…."

But Gray shook his head. She needed to hear this. Even if he was going to take refuge in his coffee cup while he finished his story.

"And then…there was the pounding at the door…and a voice shouting through the door about 'the money'…Dad shoved me into the kitchen with Mom and told us to hide. And he grabbed the Desert Eagle. Mom said she thought that 'they were gonna give us more time', pleading with my father, but he shouted at her, begged her to take me and hide in the kitchen. The kitchen door swung shut just as Dad lifted his gun.

"Mom crouched with me by the stove. There was a bang, and then the shouts of more men coming inside our house. I remember Mom squeezing me so tight, and me hiding in her shirt, praying those men would go away and stop scaring me and my parents.

"We heard some arguing through the woodwork, before Dad shouted for my mother to take me and run for it. My father's truck—that one there—" Gray nodded to his truck parked in front of the duplex "—was out back. Mom could take me and grab the keys and dash out the backdoor if she were fast enough.

"Mom hugged him even closer as she scrambled to her feet, but froze at the sound of another gunshot, followed by a thud as a body hit the floor. Right after that, the kitchen door banged open, and these three guys, one of 'em with the word 'Deliora' tattooed on his shoulder, busted in and aimed their guns at us.

"They didn't shoot at first though. They demanded to know if Mom could tell them about 'the money'. Obviously now I understand that they were talking about money that Dad had owed them…probably he'd borrowed trying to keep us all afloat, but got into some other kind of trouble trying to keep us alive and safe.

"Anyway…Mom had put me down and shoved me behind her as they tried to question her, and she started crying and demanding to know where my father was, if they'd killed him…and when she wouldn't give them answers they wanted, the one with the Deliora tattoo was like 'Screw it', lifted his gun, and fired. He got Mom in the chest and she fell back against the stove, dead before she even slumped to the floor.

"I screamed and ran to her…she was covered in so much blood…I shook her as hard as I could…there were still tears in her blank, open eyes…but she was gone. I shouted a stream of obscenities my parents would've soundly punished me for at those bastards, but the one with the Deliora tattoo just grinned and aimed his gun again…at me.

"Then three shots fired through the open kitchen door and those guys all fell…and there was my dad, holding his bleeding stomach…so…Mom was dead…and Dad was dying…but…he still picked me up, sobbing mess that I was, and got me out through the back door, like he'd wanted Mom to do with me. He put me in the cab of his truck…I begged him not to leave me, but he told me to be strong…he said, 'I know you'll be a strong man, Gray….'

"But then one of the guys tryin' to kill us staggered out and shot my father in the back and he fell…and he was just…dead. I screamed again. I kept thinking…this couldn't be happening…my mother and father couldn't be dead….

"Then I heard the click of the other guy's gun. I was next. Without even thinking about it, I picked up Dad's gun and managed to get a few shots off…one of 'em hit he guy in the chest and down he went…I was still crying though. I didn't think I could ever stop…I promised Mom and Dad both that I'd find a way to avenge them…and I actually managed to drive my dad's truck away from the house, Dad's gun in the shotgun seat, and…this—" Gray grasped the cross around his neck and shook it a second before he let it go again "—around my neck…covered in blood.

"I crashed the truck though. Right into a ditch on Route 7. That's when Ur found me. Ur Milkovich and…Lyon."

He heard Juvia's intake of breath.

Gray finally looked at her, at her shocked expression, and he actually managed a smile, if a humorless one.

"Yeah. _That_ Lyon. My foster brother, more or less. And Ur Milkovich…the woman who raised him and me both…like we were her own…."

And then he told Juvia about how Ur had taken him and Lyon under her wing as bounty-hunters-in-training, and how she'd been hunting the Deliora family herself for years…and how once Gray had identified them specifically as the people who had been responsible for the murder of his family, he'd been obsessed with taking them down…and how that obsession had led to Ur's death…and then the years of blame for her death that he'd carried with him…how Lyon blamed him nearly just as fiercely…how they'd parted ways after Gray dragged himself home and told Lyon what had happened…the two of them punching each other until Gray managed to get away and drive off in his father's truck—which Ur had actually decided to keep for when Gray got older, since Ur's house was near a junk shop.

"I think Lyon always resented that I had a car at the age of nine." Gray actually got out a genuine laugh on that one. "But Ur could tell it was more than a vehicle for me. It was part of my father's legacy…along with the gun and the cross…. They were all I had left.

"So…yeah…people I get close to… _too_ close to, I mean…they don't tend to live all that long…."

He took one last drag on his cigarette, looking Juvia right in the eye this time. And then he blew the smoke out and ground the burning tip out on the wood of the porch.

"I see," said Juvia, and Gray had a feeling she genuinely understood.

Which did something to lessen the pain gripping his heart.

He cleared his throat.

"See…me and Natsu…we do our bit to keep the streets around here safe…do the things Erza can't with her hands tied by the system…but it's because she works for the system that the bad guys we get are brought to justice. Still…there are times when some gotta die…and there's always a chance that it could me…or Natsu…or Erza…or anyone at Fairy Tail…because we all hang out there…because we're all a family there. You're more than aware of that by now."

"Yes. I am."

Gray raised his eyebrows at her. God, she sounded so fucking sad.

"Juvia…?"

And Juvia turned back to him, a desperation in her eyes, though he could see she was doing her best to hold it back.

"Gray I…I understand…that you're scared… _why_ you're scared…and I…." Then Juvia withdrew again, and again looked away. "See...I was…orphaned…when I was five. I don't remember how my parents died…I just know that they did. I was on the streets…I had no other family that could take me in…. So…this…man…came out of nowhere and… _he_ …took me in. He's…not very nice but…he kept me from starving to death…and…it's because of him…that I'm here today…."

Gray considered her hunched shoulders, and found he could no longer keep his theories to himself. "And this guy…is he someone you're tryin' to get away from? Is he this guy who gave you the Lamborghini?"

Juvia nodded wordlessly. But it seemed to cost her some effort. Gray even thought he detected a tremor to her, in her shoulders, in the ripples in her undrunk coffee.

"And…you say he's not very nice so…does he…hurt you…?" he dared to ask further.

"Sometimes." Juvia curled further into herself, like a hedgehog hiding within itself.

Without giving it much rational thought, he followed his impulse and reached out, and laid his free hand over hers. He couldn't help it. Not in the face of her vulnerability.

She glanced up at him with a sharp gasp, nearly dropping the mug in her hands. Her eyes filled as she looked at him again, and he imagined it was because his own eyes were saying what words could not.

 _If he tries to hurt you again, I'll hurt him first._

She tried to pull away, though it seemed she didn't want to at the same time.

"You're gonna tell me you have to go, aren't you?" he guessed aloud.

Juvia shook her head, more fiercely this time, but her actions gave a different answer. She whimpered like she was on the edge of tears, like a kicked dog.

Which only made Gray hold on tighter. He set aside his coffee cup, and held fast to her hand now with both of his. It had been so long since he'd grabbed a hold of something that he didn't want to let go of.

"Please…please don't leave. I don't…want you to go. Please stay."

What was wrong with him? This was going against everything he'd built for himself, and yet, he couldn't ignore the cries of the ache in his chest. Of course, sacrificing his own happiness was nothing new, but he felt such a strong pull to her that he knew that he could never look at another woman again. Which logically was the best thing for him, but there was something else stirring inside him, spurring him on, arguing that he could fight fate, fight against the ill luck that tended to follow his loved ones.

And the fact that Juvia seemed to be fighting against her own feelings too, even more than against him, gave him the idea that perhaps…when she'd said "I love you", well…maybe she'd been drunk, but that had just meant that was being more honest and open at the time.

"I…I can't," she told him softly, brokenly.

Gray sighed, relaxed his hold on her, but he didn't let go. She seemed for a moment to pull away, but then stopped and let him hold on.

"I understand," he admitted to her. "I…."

Juvia considered him once more, now looking at him as if for the first time. And now her eyes were so much tear-filled as full of a need…her need to hear him out.

Gray swallowed, and then looked down at his hands still clutching hers. "I've…been fighting this…I mean…how I feel…I mean, what I want…because…I just…."

"Oh…Gray…" Juvia croaked.

And when Gray next met her eyes, Juvia was crying. He tried to say something, but could think of nothing. As usual. He was saved the trouble of struggling with this though, as she leaned in and took his lips in hers, her own mug of coffee abandoned.

She lit a fire in Gray's chest, one that coursed through his blood, and any shred of rational thought he'd still managed to retain was scattered and lost to the wind, as he closed his eyes, letting himself sink, relishing in the rush of joy that came from her being close like this. Excitement stirred in his heart and his gut, his breath and pulse quickening as he accepted her invitation by sliding his arms around her waist and pulling her against him.

God he needed her. _Needed_ her.

He only half-pulled away, murmuring against her lips, "Inside."

"Yes," Juvia gasped in agreement, and she pulled away the other half.

Their hands were still linked as they smiled at each other. And then Gray lifted Juvia to her feet, and drew her back into his half of the duplex, their coffees abandoned on the stoop.

* * *

Barely a moment after Gray shut the door behind them, he welcomed her into his arms and she wrapped hers around his neck, her hands sliding up his shoulders. Their lips met for a second time that morning, the both of them moving as if of one mind, if also as shakily as a newborn lamb, stepping together further into the sitting room, until Juvia signaled she'd found the sofa when she felt the arm of it bump against the back of her legs.

Gray laughed as did she, and they pulled away again and simply drank in the sight of each other. Juvia's heart leapt as he reached up and brushed his fingers against her cheeks, running them through her blue hair. She felt herself glow from within, the light and heat coming off of her skin, same as with him. She could feel it, how warm he had become. His eyes glittered with desire, and Juvia reveled in feeling for the first time what it was like to touch someone and be touched by someone for whom she had feelings, even they were feelings that weren't entirely formed yet.

Then he leaned in again, and this time he was slower about it, but even more sensual at the same time when he took her mouth in his and crushed her against his chest, his hands at the small of her back. Juvia rose on her tiptoes, the feel of him literally raising her from within. Feeling her do this, Gray chuckled as though amused, right before he let his hands travel down to her behind whereupon he lifted her up off the floor. She gave a squeal of delight as he held her almost like she was a child, right before she did the very adult and sexual thing of wrapping her legs around his waist, which gave her a good feel for his erection pressing against her. To which her insides responded with a swell of pleasurable, aching heat between her own legs.

She moved from kissing his lips to trailing kisses down his neck as he lifted her even higher, until she was a little above him, and had to hunch over a bit to bury her face into the hollow of his neck, where he smelled not only of cigarettes but of motor oil, and, very pleasantly, of woodsmoke and the merest whisper of sweat that had yet to break the skin. Her heart pounded in her chest, feeling his lips traveling down her neck, and then he pinched the front of her t-shirt between his teeth and tugged at it playfully.

"This needs to come off," he growled, panting.

"Are you going to tear it off with your jaws?" Juvia teased.

"I just might," Gray teased back, and Juvia shivered at the half-serious lust in his voice.

"Jeez, no need for that…just…gimme a minute…."

Juvia broke off her kisses to his hot skin and pulled back long enough to reach down and pull up the hem of her shirt, rolling it up and off of herself and then tossing it away without giving a thought to where it landed.

Gray took a look at her and for a moment seemed stunned at the look of her topless with nothing but a bra. Then he got a feral grin on his face and spun her around, dropping her on the couch. She laughed, barely given time to breathe as he bent over her, caging her between his arms, the cross around his neck dangling from its chain, his chest heaving.

He tried to lean in for another kiss, but she reached up and laid her fingers over his lips, staying him with her hand. He frowned in disappointment until she let her hand trail down to his shirt, whereupon she started to undo the buttons.

When doing this ultimately revealed his bare chest and toned stomach, the free tails of his shirt fallen on either side of her, closing her in like curtains, she caught sight of the bandage for the knife wound from the night before. She carefully reached up and brushed her fingers against it, aware of him watching her do this. Without breaking his gaze from hers, he went and laid his hand over the one she had on his wound, and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"It's all right," he whispered. "I told you, it doesn't hurt."

Juvia felt her eyes prickle hotly. She licked her lips and then swallowed, seeing the way his eyes flickered down to her breasts snug in her bra, the soft and desperate lust in those eyes. The kind that wanted to both give as well as receive pleasure.

Something he initiated by leaning down and recapturing her lips in his.

Oh God, kissing him was so wonderful. He was so damn good at it. Of course, that had to come from years of "practice", but on the other hand, she had a feeling that she was the first woman he ever made feel like _this_. The way he kissed her, it was a slow burn, but at the same time no less desperate and hungry.

No, more than that. It was a _need_ , and not just any need, but one that came from a life constantly lived on the edge of death. The _need_ to reaffirm one's being alive by engaging in the act of making love. To forget the pain and the fear and the sorrow and the blood by wrapping oneself up in another's warm body.

Juvia more than understood that. This time, she knew, she would actually be able to feel that kind of relief sincerely, and not just a shadow of it through those times she'd had to fuck as part of her job.

She arched her back inward, feeling him lift her from within again just with the way he touched her, and while he let go of her hand on his stomach to let it wander up the column of her rib cage, and she shivered at the sensation of his fingers on her flesh, she let her own hands reach up and splay across his chest, where she felt his pounding heart against her palms for a moment before sliding them up over his shoulders, hooking underneath his shirt. Slowly, she prized the fabric off of him as she let her hands wander further down his back.

She pulled him closer as she enfolded him in her arms like this, her breath and shivers quickening as his hand stroking her ribs travelled down to her belly, and then to the hem of her yoga pants—which he proceeded to tug down, simultaneously nudging at her inner thigh with his knee to get her to spread her legs apart.

And spread them apart she did, wrapping them around his hips as before and pulling him into her. Then they broke for air and pulled back to regard each other again, both of them panting, eyes bright and eager and feverish.

"Fuck," Gray breathed, and didn't tear his eyes away even as he helped her finish the job of shrugging off his shirt. He flung that aside with quite as much abandon as she'd done with her own. Bare-chested, the pale morning light shining off the pale white scars that hatched his skin, she traced each and every one she could see with her delicate fingers, taking pleasure in the way he shivered, the way his muscles tightened, the way his breath shortened with how she touched him down to the flat of his belly.

At which point the heat gathering between her legs intensified, and Juvia dizzily found herself already teetering on the edge.

"Please, Gray," she whined, breathless. " _Please_."

"Oh Juvia…." His eyes became wild then, and he came down on her, this time starting with her breasts, trailing kisses softly along the curve of them, languorously, lightly nipping here and there as he made her way up to her neck and then back up to her lips. After all, he too was close to the edge: she confirmed this as she fervently traced her fingers down the button and zipper on his jeans,and felt nearby the hard bulge of his erection that was still there, just underneath the denim.

In her eagerness, her fingers trembled as she pulled that zipper down and undid the button.

Gray groaned into her mouth, a groan that was almost a whimper. "Faster," he begged her against her lips. "Juvia…I need you…." His breath hitched, his voice strained by his barely contained, growing desire.

"Yes…yes…faster…you too…" Juvia panted, helping him finally pull down her yoga pants the same way he'd helped her with taking off his shirt. "Oh _God_ …."

Once she managed to get him unzipped, he pressed further into her so she could in turn pull his jeans and boxers down past his hips, and she let out a gasp like the cry of a shot rabbit when she felt the naked length of him against her inner thigh.

Then Juvia threw her head back against the arm of the couch, reaching back up to twine her arms around Gray's neck and bring him down fully atop her, her breasts against his chest. He buried his face in the hollow of her neck, started to trail kisses along her bare shoulder all the way up to her ear, the lobe of which he took gently in his teeth and affectionately tugged.

It distracted her just long enough so that she gave a squeal of surprise when she suddenly felt him sliding into her, locking into place. Then she cried out as he started in, slow at first, one gentle thrust after another, reaching for that sweet spot that was so, so close.

She was a wave on the sea, moving with him, the rhythm of their lazy yet lustful undulations matching as they came together. She clutched him harder, tighter, as he pushed her closer and closer to the edge, each cry she gasped out louder than the one before it. Tears sprung to her eyes, and she dug her nails in the flesh of his back as she held onto him.

For she would fall and die if she let go.

But then…she died anyway.

Her mind went blank with pure joy as she burst from within, seawater crashing on the rocky shore, droplets glittering in the sun, aware of only that and the scream she gave, caught up in the agony that only absolute pleasure could bring.

And not long after, he gave another desperate thrust and then arched his back, his forehead touched to her collarbone, as he gave a hoarse, broken cry that was almost indistinguishable from a howl of pain. They shuddered within each other, clutching each other, moaning as they both came down from that very high place they had just reached.

The cold metal of Gray's cross that hung around his neck and the chain that went with it pressed against Juvia's skin, but she hadn't even noticed it there as he'd taken her.

Slowly, catching his breath, Gray propped himself up onto this elbows and looked her over, like he was checking to see if he'd hurt her. But she was beaming at him, and the smile her returned to her was charmingly sheepish given the performance he had just given.

"Aw fuck…that was…a little more rushed than I wanted," he panted, even reddening and let his gaze drop to her breasts.

She let him idly trace the curve of one breast again before she said, "We can always do it again. I'm game. That was wonderful. For a first time with someone new."

Gray's head snapped back to her face, his eyebrows jumping into his hair, and then he snorted a laugh, shook his head and sat up, rocking back on his heels. But even after he slid out of her, he stayed straddling her thighs, running both hands along the cool flesh of her legs like he were luxuriating in the smooth feel of ivory.

"I guess we could go again, if you wanted." He gave her a rather mischievous grin. "That _was_ a pretty damn good fuck."

But then he frowned.

Which made Juvia frown too. "What's wrong?"

"Ach…I was pretty careless though. I mean…I didn't even try to find a condom first."

"Oh, well…I'm not worried about that." As she said this, she turned her face aside, staring at the TV set without really seeing it, feeling her eyes glaze over. Then she felt Gray trace the dimpled scars along the swell of her lower stomach with one gentle thumb, and she looked back up at him.

"I didn't think you'd have scars too," he murmured.

Juvia sighed. "Yeah well…they're from a surgery, not some badass knife fight."

The corner of Gray's mouth tugged upward as he gave her a sympathetic little chuckle, patiently waiting for her to elaborate further.

"Anyway," she went on, throwing her hands up above her head and stretching her arms a bit until she felt the joints pop, "it was a long time ago. See I…had my tubes tied. So…if you're worried about something like…getting me pregnant, you don't have to fret about that."

She tried to keep the melancholy out of her voice, but Gray seemed to catch it, judging by the mist settling in his eyes.

He seemed disturbed by it actually, as if he somehow sensed that the decision to get a tubal ligation wasn't one she was happy with.

Which it wasn't. It was something Jose had forced upon her.

An insurance policy of a sort.

Then Gray said, "Well…still bothers me cuz I mean…what if I had an STD?"

Juvia raised her eyebrows at him. " _Do_ you have an STD?"

"No."

"Good. And neither do I."

 _Miraculously enough._

When Gray still looked troubled, Juvia gave him a more pinched expression, slightly nettled, admittedly.

"What? You don't believe me?"

"No, I do," he told her sincerely.

"'Cause I believe _you_."

"I know."

Of course, she had every reason not to, just as he had ever reason not to believe her. They were both pretty much aware of the other having had sex with multiple partners before the two of them had ever met. And yet, one advantage of Jose's handling of her sexuality (namely claiming her body as "his" as a reason for everything he did) was that he made damn sure she stayed clean and untouched by venereal diseases.

And well, given the level of Gray's concern here for having forgotten a condom in his haste to have her, it was pretty clear that he'd managed to be successfully responsible for his own sexual health.

His face relaxed a little then, and Juvia abandoned her bout of annoyance in lieu of offering an apology.

"I just…." Gray glanced away a moment as he tried to find the words, and then met her eyes again. "I don't wanna ruin your life, y'know?"

Juvia couldn't argue with that. She returned his tentative smile. "Yeah, I understand that. I don't wanna ruin yours either."

Gray heaved a sigh—God his chest was beautiful…Juvia felt she could get off just watching him breathe with a chest like that. And then he bent to her righthand knee and kissed it, and then inhaled her scent.

"I wanna be with you. I mean…be _with_ you. Like…."

He sighed again.

Clearly it was hard for him to come right out and ask if he could be hers in more than just someone to have sex with, and conversely if she could be the same for him.

Juvia didn't exactly blame him. She wasn't sure there was a word for what they were—what they had just become—yet. It was too soon for "lovers", and "boyfriend/girlfriend" felt too…conventional.

And anyway…her own personal guilt over why she was here in the first place and everything was starting to set in again.

In her weakness however, before she could stop herself, instead of trying to run away to at least confront it by herself (if she wasn't going to be braver than that and confront it _with him_ ), she sat up and collided with his warm chest so fast and hard it knocked the wind out of him, throwing her arms around him and holding him tight.

"Again…please," she begged him. "I need to forget…things. I need to pretend that this is all my life is for just a little while longer…."

For a moment he was taut in her arms, but he soon relaxed and slid his arms around her, returning her embrace, cradling her close. He was so utterly tender about it that Juvia's breath caught painfully in her throat and once again she came close to tears as she clung to him.

"Sure thing, baby," he whispered, pressing a kiss into the blue hair at her temple. "Cuz I need to forget and pretend all that too."


	8. A Piacere

**Chapter Eight**

 **A Piacere**

Unfortunately, before either of them could say another word, there came a loud pounding on the front door, and Natsu's pissed off voice calling through the woodwork.

"Gray, ya sonofabitch! You wanna come out here and explain yourself?! And I _know_ you're in there, so don't pretend you're still hurt so bad you can't come to the damn door!"

Gray stiffened again, and then let out a snort of laughter, facepalming and then running a hand through his hair as Juvia pulled back to look at him.

"Gray?"

"Yeah I uh…well, I had to tell Natsu that I couldn't come into the shop today—obviously—so I shot him a text…. I was starting to wonder why he hadn't replied. But then…I was kind of expecting he'd react like this. Call it 'tough love'."

"Tough love…."

Gray sighed and made a kind of groaning sound one makes before forcing themselves to do something very unpleasant.

"GRAY!"

"Oh, for cryin' out loud! Fuck, I need a cigarette…."

He scooted off of where he still straddled Juvia's pelvic region, carefully extricating himself from her, zipping up and rebuttoning his jeans on his way to the door. The moment he opened it though, the first thing that crossed the threshold was a fist into his jaw just as Juvia was sitting up on the couch and yanking her yoga pants back up to her hips.

"Gray!" she exclaimed, clutching her shirt to her chest.

Gray fell back, clutching his jaw, and Natsu stepped inside, raising his fist to deliver another punch—yet he didn't.

The fury in his face though was another matter. Juvia half-expected him to start breathing fire like a dragon.

"You _idiot_!" he shrieked at Gray. "What're you goin' around gettin' stabbed for?!"

"I didn't do it on purpose," Gray groused, rubbing his jaw as he managed to straighten himself up. "Just happened."

"C'mon on now, one punch is punishment enough," said another voice, and then Erza poked her head in after Natsu, long red hair done up in a bun: she had a smile on her face that seemed torn between siding with Natsu and sympathizing with Gray's plight.

Natsu growled, glancing over his shoulder at the chief of the seventh precinct, but lowered his fist nonetheless and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. "You had us worried sick man," he grumbled. "And you tried to act like it wasn't a big deal. What're we supposed to think when you shoot me a text that says, 'got stabbed last night, need a day to recover, _thanks_ '." When he opened his eyes again he cast another searing glare at Gray.

Gray glared right back, but there was contrition on in his face too. And then he looked away. "I'm sorry. You can get that Romeo kid in to help today though, can't ya?"

"That's not the point!" Natsu snapped and Gray actually flinched. "Why'd you try taking this guy alone? It was that white-haired dick from the other night, right?"

"Look, he came after me outta nowhere!"

"But you had a feeling he'd come after you, didn't you? And you didn't think about that when you decided to head out _alone_ in the middle of the night?"

"I can take care of myself, Natsu. Don't you think you're overreacting?"

Natsu took another deep breath and finally relaxed completely, all aggression and anger gone. He even looked a bit sheepish over how he'd acted. "I know, man. I mean…I know you couldn't really help it, he ambushed ya and all…but…I just. Sometimes you forget that you got people who got your back. And stuff like this happens _because_ of that."

Erza said nothing, but simply leaned against the edge of the door with her arms folded, shaking her head. It was clear to Juvia who the adult was in this trio of allied forces against the criminal underbelly.

Gray meanwhile grumbled and rubbed the back of his neck. "I know I do. I'm tryin' not to do so much on my own anymore, you know that, right?"

"Yeah. I mean, you've got Mirajane as well as Erza both keepin' an eye out for this guy—" ("Gee, thanks for including me," Erza inserted sarcastically.) "—so…guess I'm bein' kinda unfair. Where _is_ the little fucker anyway?"

"No clue. It was…kinda bloody on both sides. I didn't kill him, but he wasn't exactly in the best shape when I left him."

"And Dr. Marvell took care of you, I'm assuming?" Erza asked, raising a stern eyebrow, clearly adopting her "serious mode", prompted no doubt by the fact that Gray and Lyon's confrontation could have very well ended with one of them dead, if not both. Given what Juvia had heard and learned thus far, she had to assume that when it came to Erza sending her two under-the-table attack dogs out on off-the-record assignments for the police, she had to not only play things very close to the chest, but had to accept the fact that regardless of her intentions, if any one higher up found out she did that sort of thing they'd have plenty of reason to charge her with the corruption that came with most cops that worked outside the law. (You know, the sort of thing that _ought_ to happen to cops that don't play by the rules in action movies.)

Meanwhile, Gray went on. "Anyway, I'm bettin' he's managed to find cover somewhere. Lucky for me on my end though, I had a little help."

And he jerked his head in Juvia's direction, where she still sat on the edge of the sofa watching the proceedings. Maybe that was really why Natsu (and probably Erza too) was angry, because he hadn't said anything until this morning.

Natsu, for his part, blinked before he exchanged a look with Erza, and then then the both of them got a smile on each of their faces, both of which were far too knowing and sly for Juvia's liking. Their eyes both drifted to the sofa at the same time, the cushions of which did look oddly disturbed, and then back up to Juvia who had yet to throw her shirt back on over her bra, and then finally slid back onto Gray and how he was still very much shirtless.

"Oh. _I_ get it." Natsu coughed a snort of puckish laughter into his fist.

Gray's expression went slack as he seemed to realize what his friends were putting together, and then he knitted his brow. "No, you get nothing."

But Natsu shook his head, chortling. "No, no, you're right, I'm sorry, I'll just…leave everything to my imagination. Right Erza?"

"Oh indeed," Erza agreed, before she gave Juvia a mischievous wink, which made Juvia uncharacteristically hot in the face and she hastily went about yanking her shirt back on.

But then she saw Natsu raise his eyebrows suggestively at Gray before he added to her, "Thanks for takin' care of my pal Gray, here. God knows he needs it." And then he winked too.

"Okay, you've made your point," Gray growled, grabbing the edge of the open door.

"Nah-ah, I totally get it. You enjoy your 'day off', Gray…. Oh but first—"

And before Gray could stop him, Natsu yanked Gray out onto the porch.

"Sorry, Juvia, gotta talk business with Gray for a sec," Erza informed Juiva. "Then you can have him back." And grinned at her again, this time in a way that made Juvia wonder if her boyfriend Jellal (whom she still had yet to meet) had a thing for women whose sexy smile was at the same time a little frightening.

Finally alone, Juvia's shoulders relaxed and she deflated with a sigh, burying her now flushed face in her hands and shaking her head with a prolonged groan of embarrassment.

* * *

"Fuck man, at least let me get my cigarettes first!" Gray snapped at both Natsu and Erza once the door shut behind them.

Something which Natsu obliged, silently offering his friend a cigarette from his own pack.

Gray flicked another glare at him before sliding a cigarette out and letting Erza light it for him while Natsu lit up one of his own.

"So," Erza started, lighting up her own cigarette in turn, "here's what's going on. So, I think it's no secret that underneath all this bright and sunny Magnolia has an undercurrent of drugs flooding the streets."

"Yeah, go on," said Gray, sobering up himself.

After all, the hairs on the back of his neck always stood on end, like hackles raising on a wolf, whenever the subject of people dying from drug overdosing came up. After seeing what Lyon had become joining up with Lamia Scale and dealing drugs with them, not to mention the Deliora gang's affinity for trafficking kilos upon kilos of cocaine, it was easy to see how he had little mercy to give to anyone associated with those who profited from the misery that came with dealing in lethal illegal drugs.

"Last couple of weeks," Erza went on, "there's been an uptick of cases of people OD-ing, and not only that, but on something entirely new. This cocktail they're calling 'Siegrain'."

Gray and Natsu paused with their cigarettes halfway to their mouths and looked at each other, and then back at Erza.

"Siegrain?"

"An opioid cut together with a form of LSD. Supposed to send you on a dreamy high. You transcend reality and feel no fear doing so. However, its side effects are proving disturbing. Not just people dying or committing crimes under the influence, but general agitations of some people's psychoses." Erza took another drag on her cigarette, and her expression closed for a moment, no doubt thinking of Jellal and how he struggled still with his PTSD.

Which prompted Gray to ask, if carefully, "Are these…like what Jellal seems to be going through, Erza?"

Erza glanced up at them both, eyes sharp again, though not angry. Steeled rather. "Yes. I think…somehow…he might be taking it. I've…asked him about it, and…he denies it and…I haven't managed to find any around our house but…if this keeps going on…." Then she pinched the bridge of her nose. "I don't wanna send him back to the hospital. He _hates_ it there. He knows he needs to go if his mental health is in jeopardy, but he hates being away. And worse, if I end up having to arrest him and put him in jail…." She heaved a huge sigh and took another feverish sip of her cigarette, hastily tapping ash off the end of it.

"Don't worry Erza, we'll figure this out," said Natsu at once, with his usual confidence and optimism. "Where do you think the scum are dealing? And who? Is it Phantom Lord? Lamia Scale?"

Gray said nothing, but he was very grave as he silently went on smoking his own cigarette.

But then Erza said, "Neither," strangely to Gray's relief.

"So who?"

"Looks like Grimoire Heart. At some of the scenes where we find an overdose victim in their home, we find dust residue of what at first we thought was coke, but turned out to be the sort of candy used to make candy hearts. So we're going on that for now. We have it on record that Grimoire Heart tends to traffic their drugs in candy heart boxes."

Gray's ears pricked up more, and he exhaled a cloud of smoke. "I know that name, Grimoire Heart."

Natsu and Erza looked at him.

"Lyon…mentioned them," Gray explained, dropping his gaze to the porch.

"You think he can tell you anything?" Erza asked. Then shook her head. "No wait, you said you didn't know where he is, if he's even alive. Sorry."

"We can still look into it," Gray offered, flicking more ash away. "There's another bar I know—bit of a dive—and we can see what we can dig up there. Place called The Honey Bone."

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" Natsu was incredulous.

"Yeah," said Gray, "deceiving name, I know."

"Okay, sounds good," said Erza, running the pad of her thumb over a crease in her forehead, her smoldering cigarette held aloft. "I've got Simon and Millianna working on this from my squad at the station. But if you guys can dig up where this stuff's getting in, we can take it from there. I ain't got time for a search warrant on this."

And despite the desperation underneath her voice, there was new hope and determination shining in her eyes.

"All right." Gray finished and then ground out his cigarette against the brick wall of the house. "We can start at Honey Bone and go from there. Sound good?" He glanced at Natsu.

Natsu sighed but then finished his own cigarette and also ground it out in the same way Gray had ground out his. "Sure. I'll get the shop closed up early today and come back here to pick you up at say…three?"

"Yeah. I'll be here."

At which Natsu and Erza shared another impish pair of grins, remembering who was waiting for Gray inside his half of the duplex.

Taking note of this, Gray groaned and yanked the front door open. "Cut it out, it's not what you think," he insisted, before shutting the door in their rather amused faces. Though, if he was being honest with himself, Gray was relieved that even at this point, Erza could still manage to crack a genuine smile at all, never mind that it was at his own expense.

* * *

Juvia had decided since she was here, in a house stocked with food, to cook the two of them breakfast while she waited for Gray to come back. With her caught in limbo between leaving and not leaving, there was still very much the possibility that this would be her last day she could be with Gray. So, if that was to be the case, she wanted to at the very least to get everything she could out of it, which included being able to cook something for the two of them.

She'd made them both very delicious-looking, mouthwatering cheese, ham, and green and red pepper omelets when she heard the front door shut as Gray came back inside.

"Damn it," he grumbled, but then he threw a smile at Juvia poking her head out the kitchen door. "See what I mean? Tough love. Guy can't just say, 'I was worried about ya', he's gotta hit ya first to show he cares."

"Hm, what a charming trait of toxic masculinity," Juvia observed, folding her arms underneath her breasts. But she couldn't help a smile. Until she noted the air of gravitas clinging to Gray. "Everything okay?" She chewed her lip, guessing that whatever he, Gray, and Erza had had to talk about privately out there on the porch had been heavy.

"Yeah. I mean…they're both like this every time I get hurt." Gray shook his head and then pushed away from the door, straightening back up again.

Juvia was just a little crestfallen that it appeared he had no intention of sharing with her what he and the other two had discussed, but then she supposed that if it was private business, it wasn't her place to butt in. That and well…if she wasn't going to be sticking around….

"But then," Gray went on, "I'm kinda the same when it's the other way around. When any of us at Fairy Tail get hurt. I mean…we're family, after all."

At this, Juvia had the kind of crashing ache in her head of hangover regret, as she remembered her reasons once again for why she was planning to defy Jose and abandon her mission, her reason for being here.

The way she turned melancholy didn't run past Gray, and he lost his smile, coming over to cup her face in one hand and get her to look at him. A thrill lanced through Juvia before she could think, the way he reached out to her like this. Her heart started drumming in her chest again, refueling her desire for him, in spite of Natsu's interruption.

"Hey," he said softly, "what's the matter?"

Juvia closed her eyes and came right out with it. After what had passed between them, her soul was getting worn down, it got harder to maintain her outward appearance of having her shit together.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I've never had a family before."

Gray sighed, but then he said, "I know."

Juvia's eyes flew open and she stared at him. "How could you…?"

"Tell?" Gray smiled again, but this time it was wistful, understanding. "Cuz you remind me of me…when I was little…and lost. When I was with Ur and Lyon…I didn't realize until it was too late that I'd found a family again…I was so focused on avenging my parents…so…I tried not to make that same mistake. And I've found my place with everyone who drinks at Fairy Tail for it."

Juvia's eyes prickled, but she was unable to speak.

Gray ran the pad of his thumb over her cheekbone. "You could be part of that too. If you…wanted to. I…really would like that."

So, they were back to before, when he'd told her that he didn't want her to go. It took her saying that she was going to have to leave to get him to admit this, but just the same….

Then Gray sniffed. "Hey, ah…what smells so good?" he asked, as if he were sensing how much he was pushing her toward something she didn't want to talk about.

"Oh…I uh…I made omelets."

"Ah…well, I _was_ gettin' kinda hungry."

The omelet she had tasted like heaven, if Juvia did say so herself, though she was modest of course and so didn't say anything of the sort. Actually more delightful was the way Gray ate his omelet up like it was the first decent meal he'd had in days.

That and it was a joy to have this chance, for once, to have had a man, and then to get up and make him breakfast instead of simply grabbing her clothes, her shoes, and her gun and leaving behind a corpse for someone else to find later. No, this one was alive and breathing and beautiful, and she was quite committed to keeping it that way.

Moreover, to never be a source of pain for him.

On top of that, an easy normality settled between them, just being able to talk to each other about books and movies and other trivial things that were no less precious just for how delightfully normal those pleasurable things were. Before there had been the haze of alcohol and cigarette smoke, but here, it was like when they first met, in the sunshine, and she'd thought he was the handsomest man she had ever seen in her life.

She even managed to forget the Sword of Damocles that was Jose for a little while.

"Hey? Are you all right?" Gray asked her.

Juvia looked up from where she'd started absently chasing dregs of egg white around the rim of her empty plate with her fork, and when their eyes met, she had this thrilling sense, just for a moment, of a foundation of intimacy now built between them, soft and quiet. As if this had been their lives for some time now.

Holding onto this, she managed a smile. "Yeah. I'm fine."

And then he held out his hand to her across the table. She considered it a moment, and then took it in her own smaller one. Whereupon he drew them both their feet, and she felt herself float up to him as he did so. He tugged her close and touched his cheek to hers, whispering in her ear:

"Wanna see my bedroom?"

She sucked in a gentle breath, before she let out a giggle at the way he sounded like a horny teenager.

"Okay," she whispered back, basking in his warmth, bathing in his sunlight.

* * *

Gray led Juvia up into his bedroom, even as he was still a bit chagrined about what he'd said earlier concerning condoms.

 _Way to ruin the mood_ , he'd chastised himself.

Worse still, it had forced Juvia to admit to having a sterilization surgery that she clearly hadn't wanted personally. No doubt Mr. Lamborghini had forced it on her for whatever reason.

Just the same, he managed to roll with it when Juvia kissed him again after he'd shut his door behind them. He was clean, she was clean. Anyone with common sense would argue that they shouldn't take words like "I don't have an STD, trust me" at face value, and yet….

Juvia pushed that all out of his mind along, again, with having to leave her to meet up later with Natsu, all with what seemed like a determination to toss away all good sense and simply enjoy his body as much as she could, and at the same time, invite him to enjoy hers just as much.

Which he wanted very much to do. Immensely.

He'd been with plenty of beautiful women, they both knew that, and he was aware she'd been with many men…but there was something about her….

Like how she could handle herself in a gun stand-off, and yet her hands were so adorably small. Beneath the confident, sultry jazz singer who kept a gun strapped to her thigh just in case she had to protect herself, there was a smart but also tentative person, who in many ways seemed lost the way a child seemed lost.

The way _he_ was lost.

When she smiled though, Gray got that same feeling as he might waking up on a beach at sunrise after a fight, bloody but alive for another day. It hurt, but it was a good kind of hurt, the kind that reminded you were still breathing.

Gray did his best to take his time this go around, snaking his hands up her music note t-shirt and wrapping his arms around her, letting his fingers luxuriate in the warmth of her skin as he pulled her close. She meanwhile leaned up and sort of nuzzled him, coaxed him into nuzzling her back. Seemed she wanted to take things slow too, get to know him better as she slid her arms around him in turn.

It was utterly sweet, a descriptor Gray had never imagined he'd ever be associated with. But there it was, and it was doing something to the heart beating faster in his chest. He touched his lips to her neck and then her cheek, tasting her skin again, his arousal building again. Sea salt. He'd never tasted anything like it until her.

Was it because she'd cried a lot?

He just had this feeling, given the way she described her life. There was an emptiness in her, as much as there was in him, and his desperation to both fill her and be filled was rising again. He did his best to temper it, to savor every kiss he laid on her, from her cheek to her brow, to each of her closed eyelids, to the tip of her freckled nose, before at long last reaching her lips.

The moment he did though, it was like a match strike between them, sparks flying. She responded enthusiastically to him, and his breath quickened as he opened his mouth for her, begging her to come to him.

Then his hands found the clasp of her bra and he started to undo it. The moment he felt it fall free he hooked his fingers under that and made a bid to tug both bra and shirt off of her. She accommodated him by releasing him and lifting her arms up in the air.

She giggled when he got her topless again, this time her breasts laid bare, possibly because of the way he stared at her for a moment.

Her breasts were small too, like her hands, but Gray preferred that, at least to the huge knockers that were always so hyped up. On Juvia, it just underlined how both adorable and sexy she was, as those breasts were a case for her wonderful curves.

His arousal stoked anew, he smiled, rather slyly, and pulled her back into his arms. They kissed again, Juvia giving a little moan to which Gray moaned in response. But then he pulled away from her lips and started trailing kisses down to the line of her jaw, and then her throat, her collarbone, and then down to the slope of her left breast, where he could just detect her pounding heart.

And Juvia clearly enjoyed the lazy way he worked down to one of her nipples and tenderly sucked, seeing as how she, with her arms wrapped around him again, speared her fingers through his dark hair as she pressed him closer, urging him on as he laid kisses there and then in between her breasts, relishing her warmth.

Like before when they'd had each other, he smelled that scent of the lavender soap on her that she must've used in the shower that morning, that still clung to her, and, eagerly, he made his way back up to her collarbone, her neck, her mouth, his feet meanwhile shuffling backward until they reached the bed, where he abruptly spun her around with a growl that made her squeal with delight. He threw her onto the unmade mattress before lowering himself down after her, and he growled again as he slowly crawled up to her like a predator stalking its prey, something that lit a bright lust in Juvia's blue eyes.

And then he dipped into the hollow of her shoulder and actually gave her a little bite, nipping her neck with his teeth, making her breathless with her desire. Oh, he liked that very much.

God, she was just so much fun. She excited him so much, he suddenly couldn't imagine doing something like this with any other woman ever again. The first time had been hot enough, but going with her again like this…it was a bliss he never wanted to break away from.

He shivered pleasurably when he felt her hands underneath his shirt, pulling it off him again, muscles tightening, breath quicker and even more shallow. He felt her fling his shirt away somewhere he didn't much care, nor did she. He was way too hungry for her, nipping her until he reached her jaw where he switched back to kissing her, and the heat of excitement inside him jolted when he felt her give his shoulder a few little bites of her own.

Then Gray explored her body further with his hands, stroking her curves with his fingers until they came down to the top of her yoga pants. He hooked his fingers over the top of those like before and started to pull down again, when Juvia, meeting his kissing mouth again, went, "Mm-hm!" and then with a surprising amount of strength, flipped them both over so that she now had him pinned to the bed.

"My turn to be on top," she insisted, breathless. "It's the rules," she added with a mischievous glint in her eyes that sent another thrill of excitement through Gray.

And the breathlessness of her voice urged his arousal on, but holy fuck, was his erection pressing hard against the inside of his jeans, just like before.

"Is that…so?" he challenged, panting to catch his breath. He returned her sly smile with a smirk of his own.

"Yes…so now you may proceed to strip me again."

"Mmmm…."

And as he did, with a bit of shifting from Juvia, she grabbed a hold of his crotch before she finally offered the relief of unzipping him. And then she guided him back inside of her—he wasn't used to being underneath.

Not that he was going to complain about it in this instance: the moment she started rocking her hips in a slow, gentle rhythm, he was no longer fumbling toward ecstasy, but he could see it clearly up ahead…and he could just reach it….

"Sorry," he gasped hoarsely, "I'm…gettin' close…again…."

"It's okay," she bit out, bending over him and kissing his neck, his jaw. And then she whispered, "I am too," in his ear, and then took his lips in hers.

Gray moaned again and wrapped his arms around her, feeling her soft skin, pulling her closer into him, barely containing himself as he bucked beneath her beautifully undulating hips.

His shallow breathing got harsher, as he tried so hard not to get ahead of her…but it built, and built, and built, and built…and before he could stop it, the fire consumed him, bursting from where they were joined and spreading through his entire body, electrifying his veins as he cried out and clutched Juvia like his life depended on it.

But he was rewarded twofold as she soon let out the sweetest cry he had ever heard in his life, and tears sprang to his eyes and he crushed her to him in his arms while riding her high out with her.

And then she relaxed and stilled, as did he, and for a moment, in the wake of such shattering bliss, they simply held each other, panting heavily, tangled up in each other and the sheets. The air was thick with sweat and sex and that fragrance of sea salt, and Gray's heart was still pounding in his chest and in his ears even as it was slowing down and he was catching his breath.

Then he let his head fall back on the pillow and she lifted herself up onto her forearms so they could look at each other. And there was little he could do to hold back the grin that spread on his face. That beautiful moment of knowing that your lust has been slaked.

For now, anyway.

"How was that?" Juvia asked him breathlessly. "Good? Bad? Better…? Worse…?"

"No. _Best_ ," Gray told her sincerely, idly running his hands along the curves of her naked hips.

And then another tension relaxed in Juvia that Gray hadn't noticed until just then, as she let out a huff, like a sigh of relief, and then slid off of him and rolled over onto her back beside him.

Gray turned onto his side, propping himself up on one elbow. When he tried to look at her, she tried to look away, and all of a sudden she was curiously distant and closed from him, like she'd washed out to sea and toward the horizon, where she was close to disappearing from him forever.

His eyes lingered on her face, traced along the perfect roundness of her breasts and all her other curves, his heart still eager even as it no longer pounded like thunder.

"You aren't really gonna go, are you?" he had to ask. He couldn't help it.

At this, she turned her face to look at him, and she suddenly looked so pale, so breakable. "Do you really want me stay? After you tried so hard to push me away?"

"Tried. And failed. And anyway, you did the same thing."

"I didn't want to."

"Neither did I."

She heaved a sigh and bit her lip, like she was worrying a thought in her mind. She was definitely afraid of something, something that made her feel like she had to leave.

Maybe she thought that guy she was trying to get away from, the guy who treated her like shit from the sound of it, would track her down here.

Well, if he did, he'd be sorry about it. Gray would make sure of that.

Before he could say as much though she reached up and took a hold of the cross around his neck, running the pad of her thumb over the metal of it. And then she let it drop and lifted her lovely eyes to his.

"How badly do you want me to stay?" she asked him. Almost like a challenge.

Well, he was up for this one.

" _Really_ badly."

Okay, maybe not.

But then Juvia's lips spread into a gentle smile. "Show me," she coaxed him. Actually, it was more like she begged him. There was such a desperation underneath the reemerging lust in her voice.

Heat fluttered in Gray's chest again as he returned her smile with his own, and was very glad to show her just how much he wanted her to stay where his words failed him. He'd never been all that good with words, anyway. It was like she knew that.

Or she just needed to feel him again.

Not that he argued with that either.

He bent over her and took her mouth in his, crushing his lips against hers, and she started to open up for him once more, giving a surprised and pleased squeal at how fiercely he kissed her, how every touch from him was a plea for her not to leave him.

And with that they tumbled and twisted between the sheets for a third time.

* * *

When Gray woke up it was a little before two. He squinted at the sun through the blinds in his window, the fiery warmth on his face, and took a moment to put his foggy brain back together.

He hadn't been drunk. At least not on alcohol.

No, he'd found something sweeter.

Lying on his stomach and facing the wall, he heard a deep and soft sigh beside him, and the shift of another, smaller body in bed with him.

He smiled.

Juvia.

Turning over, he found her there, close beside him, curled up on her side, swathed in his sheets, filling them with her rain and sea salt scents. Just sleeping, her blue eyelashes sweet crescents over her cheekbones.

She really was very pale though.

It was a little worrying, actually.

But she breathed fine, easy. And otherwise she didn't seem ill.

Maybe it was just him.

Just the same, he also remembered with a pounding in his head that he'd have to leave her for a bit soon. And after the way he'd told her over and over between breathless kisses that he didn't want her to leave him.

He would be back, though. He'd come back for her, like nothing was wrong.

Because now he couldn't imagine ever not trying to find his way back to her.

He wanted to hear her sing again, hear her laugh, taste her, feel her, always.

 _What the hell's wrong with me?_ he suddenly thought in self-reprimand. _This'll just open her up to getting her killed._

At the same time though, he was tired of suffering alone, and once more he told himself that this time, he'd fight whatever grudge Fate seemed to hold against him in snatching away those he loved and got too close to.

 _Loved?_

 _Did_ he love her?

He wasn't entirely sure, but he knew he wanted to be with her, and he supposed that was a start.

Very gently and quietly so as not to wake her, he leaned over and kissed her cheek, and then her jaw and then her bare shoulder. And then he had to tear himself away, though he did so like he would do so slowly peeling off a band-aid—the kind of peel that tore off a few bits of skin in the process. Then he dragged himself away and forced himself up into a sitting position, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, sheets around his waist.

He took another look at her sleeping form before heaving another sigh, and then reached over and grabbed his clothes.

After he yanked on a muscle tank, he grabbed the pack of smokes by his bed, pulled one out with his teeth and lit it. He smoked it, freehanded, as he sat back on the edge of the bed and pulled on and laced up his boots. In the time it took to do that, he finished his cigarette and stubbed it out in the ashtray.

Then he ran a hand through his scruffy dark hair and glanced over at Juvia again, curling into herself a little more as she let out another little sigh in her slumber.

He couldn't help smiling, and he leaned over and kissed her cheek again, and this time whispered in her ear, "I'll be back. Wait up for me, baby."

* * *

The moment Juvia awoke to the slight chill, she knew she was alone in Gray's bed.

She was crestfallen at this for a twinkling, even as she hoped she was wrong and reached over. But only found a scrap of paper with a note scrawled onto it.

 _Be back later._

Well, at least he'd left with that.

Though she had to wonder where it is he might've gone. Hopefully nowhere dangerous.

In the meantime, she came to more of her senses as she slowly sat up, and gingerly at that, given how sore she was between her legs. Of course, he'd been as gentle as gentle could be when he'd managed it, but you could only do what they'd done so many times before it got rough on that part of the body regardless of how gentle you were being.

Actually, he'd been a beast in bed, but that had made everything so much more delicious.

Spearing her fingers through her tangled blue hair though, she came back again to her anxiety, and the slowly sinking sensation of knowing that the smart thing to do was to leave, get out, right now, while she still could and while Gray and everyone else at Fairy Tail was still safe. She hoped.

She considered Gray's note, pinching the small square of paper between her thumb and forefinger, before she laid it aside on the nightstand next to the digital clock that read "3:37 pm" and set about getting her clothes back on _again_. Then she started searching about for her phone out of habit, only then remembering with the sensation of a brick to the head that she'd launched her phone in the creek much earlier that morning.

That really _was_ a stupid thing, but on the other hand, a very satisfying way to declare her severing her ties with Jose, at least from her point of view. She was well aware that Jose still felt she was leashed to him.

As she put her small naked fee to the floor and tried to think what to do immediately next, considering she wasn't supposed to show up at Fairy Tail until five for her singing act later that night, she heard the slam of a car door outside. Her ears pricked up, but she was very on guard as she quickly dressed and then padded downstairs.

Peering outside through the peep hole, she saw that not only was Gray's truck still parked in front near her own Lamborghini, but there was a third car parked there that she knew very well. Putting aside the theory that Natsu or perhaps Erza had probably swung by and picked up Gray in their own car to take him to wherever he'd gone off to, she tiptoed away from the front door and slipped out the back, slipping back into her own half of the duplex through her own back door where she could strap on her thigh holster and arm herself with her Sapphire after loading it with a full clip.

Before she went back outside then, she switched out her music note t-shirt for a blue dress that went just past her thighs (one she normally wore with leggings) as a means to hide the fact that she had a gun on her (though given who was outside, they more than likely wouldn't be fooled, but old habits and all that).

The moment she opened her own front door then and stepped out onto the porch, she easily screwed on a grin for the dandy in the fine camel suit smoking a cigarette as he leaned against his bronze station wagon, whereupon she greeted him as brightly as ever.

"Sol, _darling_! It's been far too long."


	9. Ruvido

(A/N: Natsu's gun now a Beretta 92FS, not a Glock and this has been corrected in previous chapters. Berettas have hammers, right?)

 **Chapter Nine**

 **Ruvido**

"Cigarette?" Sol offered , holding out a pack of Galoises.

"You and your French ciggies," Juvia teased as she took one and let Sol light it for her.

Sol shrugged as he lit himself one. "What can I say? _Je suis fran_ _çais._ "

They both took a drag and exhaled streams of smoke before Sol got to it.

"So, you are out on a zhob for old Zhose?" Sol tapped some ash off.

"I am," Juvia told him. Why lie? It wasn't like he knew the details, and anyway, jobs were always the only reason she'd ever be outside the Phantom Lord compound on her own.

"Going well?"

"Oh, you know it. They don't call me the Siren for nothing."

Sol clucked his tongue playfully. " _Quelle malveillance_."

And Juvia giggled coquettishly but doing so felt so foreign to her now. Then again, acting like this had never really been _her_. It was just…out here…she'd been able to act more like herself than she had been able to in ages.

Then Sol said, "You know…you do seem a little bit different. I cannot, 'ow you say, 'put my finger on it', but zere is definitely somezing."

"Perhaps it's all in your head then."

" _Ah, peut-_ _être que oui_."

"And you? How did the exchange go with Oración Seis?"

" _Tr_ _ès magnifque_. I got a very good price for ze product. Zhose will be pleased."

Juvia wasn't surprised. Sol had always been the smoothest talker, which was why he primarily handled sales of Phantom Lord's drug stock. He could make very high asking prices sound wonderful with the way he wove words together. Having the suave French accent helped too. Not to say all francophones were automatically smooth-talkers, but Sol definitely knew how to use what he'd been born with.

Just the same, Juvia kept on her guard. Sol had tracked her here, despite his being unaware that she was on a job. She couldn't be sure whether or not if Jose hadn't called him to make a pitstop and "check" on her. That sounded like something he would do in fact, he was very partial to pitting her, Sol, Totomaru, Aria, and Gajeel (when he'd been around) against each other when it suited him. So far it hadn't resulted in anyone dead, just Gajeel going A.W.O.L. with orders from Jose to kill him on sight…since Juvia had conveniently "lost track of him".

Juvia shivered as she remembered the cold metal of the barrel of Jose's gun nestled between her breasts as she worked up the courage to pass that lie onto him, and finally, _finally_ got him to believe her (enough) to let her off the hook and not punish her.

Moreover, she was reminded now, as she smoked quietly with Sol while they leaned against his car, how much the four of them were all bound together as Jose's tops and yet had a mutual distrust for one another. All loyal to Jose, but to each other? It was so cold compared to the warmth she'd found with the people who hung out at Fairy Tail.

Once they found out that she was no longer loyal to Jose, Sol, Aria, and Totomaru would gang up on her without a single qualm. Actually, if Jose had sent either of them out to kill Gajeel, Gajeel would definitely be dead now. Jose had only asked her because he knew how much it would hurt her, and it was meant as a test. Of course, she'd failed, but as far as Jose had been concerned, she was still worth his keeping his faith in her.

"Anyway," Sol went on, tapping off more ash, "when do you finish up 'ere?"

"In a bit," Juvia lied. "I have to make sure there aren't any loose ends to tie me to Phantom Lord before I carry out my objective."

"Ah. And suppose you tell me 'oo ze target is? Per'aps I could be of assistance to you?"

"What? You think I can't handle a little old kill? Have you forgotten how many I've racked up?"

"Ah, _oui_ , _oui_ , you are ze best of us, next to Gazheel, _Mademoiselle Sir_ _ène_ ," Sol conceded, waving the cigarette in his hand. "I zhust zought…never mind." He took one last drag and then dropped the rest of the cigarette in the grass and ground it out with the toe of his snazzy shoe.

Juvia took a step away from the car when he turned and opened the driver's side door. "Well, I shall see you when you return triumphant to ze compound, _oui_?"

" _Mais oui, mon cher_." Juvia winked and Sol flashed her a grin before ducking into his vehicle.

Juvia finished her own cigarette as she watched him pull out and drive away, and she realized then that at this point, even if she went A.W.O.L. like Gajeel, it wouldn't guarantee Makarov's safety. Or anyone else's who hung out at Fairy Tail.

Including Gray.

That and even though that meant that eventually she would have to tell Gray and the others the truth in order to protect them (though she'd avoid that for as long as she could), she actually felt better about doing things this way. Perhaps making a run for it now and never coming back would more effectively spare everyone's lives from Jose's wrath, but the more she considered it, the more it felt like the coward's way out.

And she was tired of basing all of her decisions on fear.

Even if Gray hated her, deciding she'd rather fight for his sake, as well as the sake of everyone else who hung out at Fairy Tail, gave her a surprising amount of strength she hadn't realized she'd had inside her.

Even if Gray hated her—and he would, undoubtedly—she would fight to protect him and those he cared about.

Because that sort of thing came with caring about other people: you're on their side and have their back even when they hate you.

* * *

Honey Bone was definitely still the dive Gray had claimed it to be based on memory, though it'd been years since he'd been here. Not since he'd come here once with Ur and Lyon while Ur was taking them out in the field in her training them to be bounty hunters like her.

Contrary to the warm and inviting, almost idyllically British-pub style that was housed within Fairy Tail Bar, Honey Bone was very seedy in how it was dimly lit and smoky, with all of its surfaces having at least a little bit of grime right down to the glasses marked here and there with questionable smudges, and, to complete the whole thing, along with this sense that everyone glared at you upon entrance if you weren't a regular, and even then no one here who was a regular was much of a friend to anyone else, it also held the faintest pungency of stale beer mixed with barf and piss.

If there was a place that was any less charming, Gray had yet to see it.

Honey Bone was indeed an ironic name. At least the Honey part was, anyway.

And indeed, when he and Natsu took the steps down to the bar's basement level entrance and pushed their way inside, heads turned, their faces appearing out of the smoke, squinting at the sunlight that came through the door as though they'd start hissing like vampires when it touched them.

The door swung shut, and without a word, Gray took out his mother-of-pearl handle stiletto and flicked it open, before he flung it at the nearest dart board and landed a bull's eye with it. He remembered distinctly how Ur had done the same thing with her own personal knife when she had entered with him and Lyon, and despite her having the look of a single mother who had clearly lost her way with her two brats, the moment she'd showed this off, it appeared to work the same as some initiation test, and she didn't receive any further negative attention. Though Gray also remembered still getting mean looks from some of the patrons behind her back.

Things played out now like it did then. He and Natsu were left alone, everyone going back to their personal business in the bar, murmuring over the rock 'n' roll playing at a minimal volume on the radio speakers, as Gray went and yanked his knife out of the dart board, Natsu following him.

"Hey, was that how you tell people not to mess with ya here?" Natsu asked him in a low voice.

"Basically." Gray considered the look of his dark eyes reflected in the blade of the stiletto before he closed and pocketed it. "Okay. Let's see if we can get the owner to spill his guts. Not literally of course. If we can help it."

"Hey, c'mon, I ain't a sicko who's into that stuff," Natsu grunted and Gray smiled.

At the bar, Gray and Natsu both asked for a couple of beers on the pretense of getting chatty with the barkeep.

"You guys got any of those candy hearts?" Natsu asked as he pinched a few greasy peanuts out of a greasy dish and popped them into his mouth. "I could really go for some of those."

Gray palmed his forehead. That was more on the nose than he would've liked, but that was Natsu. Subtlety wasn't exactly his forte, but thankfully he made up for it tenfold in his prowess as a fighter and gunman. Otherwise he wouldn't be here. But seeing as how Gray was the one who was a former bounty hunter, it made sense.

The barkeep raised his bushy, grouchy eyebrows at them as he went about twisting a rag in a shot glass (which given the state of the rag was indeed doing little to actually clean it).

"Candy hearts?" The barkeep scoffed. "You're real funny, you know that?"

"You know…." Natsu winked. " _Candy hearts_."

The barkeep tossed the rag over his shoulder and leaned his palms on the bar, leaning in so close that he and Natsu were practically nose-to-nose. "Listen, dickhead, I dunno what you're insinuating, and sure this place ain't the Ritz, but I don't allow shit like _that_ anywhere near here. You got that?"

"Huh? But…."

"Natsu…."

"Oh come on, Kain, don't be such a grump," said a sultry young voice nearby, and Gray and Natsu looked round to find a young woman with bright pink hair tied up in a large ponytail and wearing a billowy yellow blouse, ripped jeans, and a rugged pair of leather boots.

The barkeep, Kain, raised an eyebrow. "Are you…vouching for these two then?"

"I am," said the pink-haired woman, taking a sip of her own beer. "I mean I don't imagine they're here to cause trouble. Are you boys?" she added to Gray and Natsu, and they both shook their heads.

"Not at all, ma'am," said Natsu.

"Well then." The woman tossed Kain a smile. "You can leave them to me, okay?"

Something passed between her and Kain, an unspoken understanding, before Kain let out a sigh and took a step away.

"I'll leave you to it then," he said, and went back to ineffectively cleaning shot glasses.

The woman meanwhile turned back to Gray and Natsu with a flirty grin. "Well, what brings you two here then? Candy hearts you said you were after?"

Gray and Natsu exchanged glances and then Gray said, "Yeah. I mean…if you get what we're talking about."

The woman glanced sidelong at the barkeep's back before she answered. "Depends. How much do you know about you _think_ you know?"

"Enough," said Gray. "My friend and I are just lookin' to score. The stuff we usually get's gotten too tame, and we wanted to kick things up a notch tonight. You know. Headin' over to Club Tartaros later."

" _Oh_." The woman fluttered her eyelashes. "I see."

Club Tartaros had a fairly large reputation for being the perfect blend of partygoers both rich and poor. And in the depths of that hellish orgy, the time old ritual of snorting coke in the bathroom. Erza had been working to crack that place wide open for years without success.

The woman considered them another moment and then held out a tiny hand for them each to shake. "Meredy Milkovich."

Gray nearly choked on his beer, but managed to pass it off as him just getting some of it down his windpipe on accident. Even as he waved a hand at the other two not to worry, his mind was reeling.

 _Milkovich?_

So…was she a relative of…Ur's…?

Then he caught Meredy's eye, at the way she was studying him, and cleared his throat. "Pleased to meet ya. I'm Lyon Silver."

"Happy Igneel," said Natsu, providing his own fake name.

Meredy raised an eyebrow but Natsu just grinned and she seemed to accept it enough not to question it. "So, first time for you guys here, right?"

"For me, yeah," said Natsu.

"Not for me," Gray put in, twisting his beer bottle in his fingers. "I came here once when I was little."

Meredy blinked in sincere surprise. "When you were little?"

"Yeah, my…foster mother…was a bounty hunter." Gray met her slightly stunned gaze unflinchingly. "Don't worry though: I didn't follow in her footsteps or anything like that."

"Oh?"

"Yep. I just drift now. Same as Happy."

"What about you, Meredy?" Natsu asked, swinging his beer lazily around by the top of the neck like a rotating pendulum. "I'm guessing you're a regular, since you seem tight with the barkeep and all."

"Yeah, I've known Kain since I was little. He's a good friend of my mother's, you see." Meredy flashed a winning smile before taking another swig of her own beer. But as she did, she gave a Gray surreptitious look that he couldn't quite place, but one he didn't trust either.

And then she set aside her beer and asked them, "Well, now that we're all a little better acquainted, would you like to follow me? I think I can hook you up with some of those 'candy hearts'."

That was fast. But if there was indeed a cache of Siegrain here, and they could get a hook in, they'd have what Erza needed in no time. All they needed was to get out with at least one heart-shaped box.

Meredy led them round to the back where the men's and ladies' rooms were respectively and pointed to a section of wall between the two. This turned out to be a secret door that, when slid open, revealed a staircase that led to level below this one, further down in the ground than the bar was.

At the bottom of the stairs, they were faced with a small concrete-walled room full of crates. One of the crates was open, and inside of it were stacks of red heart-shaped boxes. So unassumingly looking like packages of candy.

"Here's where we make the medicine," said Meredy.

In that same moment though, there was a click as she had put the end of a Sig Sauer P320 she'd had on her to the back of Natsu's head.

"Lose the gun," she threatened when Gray whipped out his Silver Desert Eagle and aimed it at her, Natsu going still and slowly raising his hands in a gesture of surrender. "I mean it. I will blow this fucker's head away if you don't."

Gray exhaled out of his nose, trying to remain calm as dropped his gun and shoved it away from him out of easy reach with his booted foot. At the same time, he had no doubt in his mind that Kain the barkeep was more than aware of what Meredy was doing here, and was totally on board with turning the other cheek, if he wasn't at least directly involved.

"The knife too. Don't think I didn't see you throw that thing."

"Fine."

Gray held the knife out at arm's length and dropped it onto the concrete floor with a clink.

Meredy glanced at the knife though, and she slowly closed her eyes. "Damn you," she muttered. "I was suspicious of you on principle, seeing as how it's part of my job and everything, but now…." She lifted her hard eyes to Gray's. "Now I know who you really are…I think a slight change in protocol is in order."

Gray frowned, trying desperately to think of an out even as he genuinely was curious as to what Meredy was talking about. "How did you…?"

"The knife," Meredy sighed. "It was just like she said. It _looked_ just like she said. A stiletto with a mother-of-pearl handle…and the name 'Gray' carved into it."

Sucking in his breath, heart pounding, briefly losing focus, Gray croaked, "Who…?"

"Ultear. Ultear Milkovich."

"M- _Milkovich_?"

"Yes." Meredy glared daggers at Gray. "Ur Milkovich's daughter, her _only_ child."

Daughter? Ur had had a daughter? But….

And then he remembered again, that night he'd found her crying over some stuffed animal…had that belonged to…?

"Gray Fullbuster." Meredy shook her head and chuckled humorlessly. "Which means your friend here must be the infamous Natsu Dragneel. Erza Scarlet's bloodhounds. Of course. It was only a matter of time before you came around sniffing. But so much the better for me."

"What the fuck are you going on about, lady?!" growled Natsu.

Meredy ignored him even as she went and pressed the muzzle of her gun right into his back, for her cold glower locked onto Gray's. "All right. I'll start with killing your partner Dragneel here. You get to watch him die, right here, right now, and maybe… _maybe_ you'll know even a fraction of the pain you caused Ultear." A crystalline fracture broke in her eyes, and in her voice, Gray heard a mixture of anguish and hatred culminating in the threat of rageful, sorrowful tears fiercely held back.

Sadness sunk into Gray's heart like a dull blade. "Because it's my fault…that her mother died. That about the size of things?"

"Yeah. That's about the size of things."

"Fine. So…you want to kill me on her behalf?"

"To punish you for what you've done. Though if I'd let Ultear get her hands on you, I can promise you your death would be ten times worse then what I'd do to you."

"Lucky me. I get to add the two of you to my growing list of people who want me dead."

Meredy jammed her gun hard between Natsu's shoulder blades, at the same time grabbing him by the wrist and yanking him towards her, causing him to swear in pain. "Anything you wanna say before I blast a hole through this idiot?!"

 _Juvia…I won't die here…I promised…._

"Just one thing," said Gray, neurons now firing in flashes of brilliance, and in the moment that he kept Meredy in anticipation of what he would say next, he used that to his advantage and leapt forward before she realized what he was really planning on doing all along.

His forehead connected with hers and she gave a yelp of pain and fell back, releasing Natsu and dropping the Sig Sauer P320. Natsu wasted no time in taking up his Beretta and aiming it square between Meredy's eyes.

"Stupid of _you_ to think you could take us on," said Natsu with a vulpine grin.

"Hmph." Meredy actually pouted and then quick as lightning roundhouse kicked the gun out of Natsu's hand from where she was lying on the ground.

As she made a grab for the Sig Sauer though, Gray hooked her underneath her arms and yanked her up, holding her back.

"Let go of me, you fuck!" she spat at him venomously.

"Natsu!" Gray yelled.

Natsu swiped Gray's knife and tossed it over before grabbing his Beretta and Gray's Silver Desert Eagle.

"Now," Gray hissed in Meredy's ear, snapping the stiletto and pressing the blade to her milk-white throat, "you wanna tell me who's this Ultear who's supposed to be Ur's daughter?"

"Fuck you," was all the answer he got out of her.

Then Natsu held Meredy at gunpoint. He had the Sig Sauer in his other hand, having handed Gray back his Desert Eagle.

But Meredy, quick and slippery, socked Gray in the stomach with her elbow while at the same time she kneed Natsu in his. As Natsu crumpled and Gray staggered back, gasping for air and blinking tears out of his eyes, she ripped the Sig Sauer out of Natsu's hand, spun around and aimed it at Gray.

"Shit!"

Natsu aimed his Beretta in kind at Meredy and squeezed the trigger. But Meredy dodged and fired the Sig Sauger at Gray.

Luckily Gray was fast enough to dodge too, and the bullet from Meredy's gun blasted a hole in the cement wall.

He wasted no time scrabbling up the stairs, and sure enough he got Meredy hot on his heels. At the top, he twisted around and aimed his father's gun right at Meredy's heart, his own heart cold as stone in his chest, Ur's face flashing in his mind's eye just for a moment.

He lined up the sight just as Meredy aimed the Sig Sauer at him for another shot.

And fired.

* * *

It was getting late. Lisanna and Elfman were well into their comedy set, and yet Gray and Natsu hadn't shown up. Normally they were one of the first people to arrive when the bar opened around five in the afternoon. Up next was Mirajane and her pop covers and then Juvia would be up with her jazz. And her hope from earlier that Gray hadn't had to go anywhere dangerous with Natsu that afternoon came back to bite her.

Unable to help herself, she had to ask Erza if she knew anything. She sidled up to her at the bar in the dark while the rest of Fairy Tail erupted in laughter at Lisanna and Elfman's next joke.

"Hey, Erza," she said, and Erza twisted around in her seat with her Strawberry Amber beer.

"Hey, Juvia." Erza greeted her brightly enough, but Juvia sensed something on edge in her, which put her even more on edge.

"Um…I know it's not my business to pry seeing as how…Gray and Natsu do certain…things for you to help you with your off-the-record policework but…you wouldn't happen to know anything about where the two of them are?"

"Yeah, I'm kinda worried too," and Lucy appeared on Erza's other side with her pink cosmo in hand. This was actually her third glass, which was more than she usually drank, considering how hard cosmos hit. Which meant she was nursing a growing anxiety for her boyfriend. "Natsu said he'd text me later and I haven't gotten anything."

Erza glanced between Juvia and Lucy, and for a police officer, she seemed to have a difficult time keeping guilt off of her face. Then again, maybe it was because this was such a personal issue. Then she glanced away. "I'm worried too. They were…supposed to call in. But…I was kind of hoping that they'd still show up here…that maybe there was just something wrong with their cells…." She looked sincerely apologetic, and Juvia felt for her. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to have to face you two with something like this."

Juvia and Lucy exchanged glances, and then looked back at Erza. Then Lucy reached over and laid a hand over Erza's.

"It's okay, Erza," she assured her. "Natsu always tells me he understands the risk that comes with doing the things he and Gray do to help you and the police out. And this isn't the first time those two've worried the crap out of us."

Juvia frowned. "So…this sort of thing has happened before?"

Erza and Lucy nodded soberly.

Yet Juvia felt she shouldn't be surprised, considering what she now knew about the kind of service Gray and Natsu provided for Erza. And it was a noble service, she could hardly fault them for doing their bit. Nor could she be angry with Erza, because again, this had been Gray's and Natsu's choice to offer this kind of service to her. And again, Gray and Natsu had every right.

Moreover, it wasn't like Erza wasn't putting herself at risk in all of this. She did orchestrate the whole thing, but once her hands were unfettered by the system thanks to the breakthroughs Gray and Natsu were able to give her when the occasion called for it, she would leap into the fray with unabashed fear, from what Juvia understood. All the more reason that the waiting was clearly tearing her up inside as she now abruptly excused herself to have a cigarette outside.

That and…she and Lucy had known Gray and Natsu much longer than Juvia did, so…who was she to judge?

Still, these things did nothing to ease the twisted knots of anxiety in the pits of Juvia's stomach. She wasn't even sure she had it in her to go on tonight. Not if she was still uncertain about whether Gray or Natsu were both all right.

The rest of the bar erupted in uproarious applause as Elfman and Lisanna finished their set, and Mirajane took off her apron. She and Lisanna switched places so she could go and head onto the stage. Calculating then that there was about twenty minutes at least before she had to go on, Juvia turned to Lucy to ask if she wanted a smoke too, only to find her friend digging into her bag for a pack of smokes. When their eyes met they realized they were both thinking the same thing and snorted nervous laughs.

Outside then they joined Erza, who wasn't entirely surprised to see they'd decided to escape outside too, taking a pensive drag as Juvia and Lucy both lit up.

But while Lucy seemed content to leave things unprodded, Juvia couldn't help herself and simply had to ask, "Erza, I understand that what you're having Gray and Natsu do is technically confidential to the police, but…I have to ask if—this doesn't have something to do with…possible drug pushers?"

Erza frowned. "Why do you say that?" she asked after a moment.

"Well, I've heard things…" Juvia answered in evasive half-truths. "I mean I don't live under a rock, I'm aware that these are the favored haunts of gangs like…Raven Tail…Phantom Lord…." She waved the hand that held her cigarette, easily slipping into her casual persona of innocent ignorance.

"Yes, that's true." Erza glanced at Lucy and then seemed to resign herself to something. "Okay. I'll at least say this. Yes, they are looking into some drug pushing, specifically this dangerous cocktail going around nicknamed 'Siegrain'."

"Siegrain?" Lucy raised an eyebrow.

But Juvia experienced a bit of a revelation. The name sounded familiar, and she realized she'd heard of it before, down the grapevine, a new drug cut by none other than Grimoire Heart, one of the few gangs Jose knew better than to cross if he could help it. Apparently, the name had come up during one of their exchanges with Oración Seis, who also dealt with Grimoire Heart but were arguably on better terms with them than Phantom Lord was.

She was getting ahead of herself though. She couldn't let on that she knew too much about these things. It just eased her in some capacity to have an idea of what Gray and Natsu were getting into. Gray had told her he had once been a bounty hunter, so again, it wasn't like he was a stranger to this sort of dangerous work, but just so, those nervous knots kept twisting around and around in her stomach and she puffed on her cigarette, one ear keeping tabs on Mirajane's set inside the bar as she also kept track of the time on her watch (at least she didn't have to depend on her phone to keep the time, which reminded her, she really needed to get a new phone) while her other ear zoned in and out of Erza giving Lucy a basic explanation of what Siegrain was supposed to be.

She'd smoked her cigarette down to the nub by the time Erza finished that explanation, and Mirajane was starting to wrap up her set. Juvia's heart started pounding, feeling just for a moment like she was going to throw up—

"Yo."

Juvia and Lucy, and even Erza, all jumped at the sound of Natsu's voice behind them.

"Natsu!" Lucy exclaimed, and unreservedly bounded forward and threw her arms around her boyfriend, who appeared none the worse for wear as he laughed and spun her around, trying to tell her that he was fine in between her peppering his face with kisses.

Same with Gray, much to Juvia's intense relief—save for a bandage on his shoulder. And, unable to help herself, she too bounded forward and threw her arms around Gray, hugging him close. It really was so good just feel him in her arms, from the moment she collided with his chest and pressed into him, feeling that adrenaline rush, that need, to give herself proof that he was alive and well.

At first, he stiffened on a reflex: he wasn't used to having someone rush up to him and embrace him like this, after all, least of all in front of other people. He relaxed though as he seemed to remember that they'd just spent the better part of earlier that day having sex and he should at least try not to be so tense about it.

Just the same, when he pulled away so he could look her in the eye, he did blush a bit, which was actually quite endearing to Juvia, to see something so boyish in a man who dealt in guns and death. The heat in her own cheeks alerted her to how flushed she herself was in exhibiting such PDA with him.

He gave a reassuring smile all the same.

"Hey," he said quietly. "You weren't worried about me, were you?"

"Well, yes. I mean…Erza had you go on one of her assignments." Juvia's eyes slid to the bandage on his shoulder, at the spot of blood that showed through the white.

Gray followed her glance and frowned in chagrin. "Yeah, it did get a _little_ rough, but nothing we couldn't handle." Then he regarded her with a bit more concern, something that made Juvia's throat grow tight. "Sorry. I didn't wanna worry you or anything. But it's fine. Like I said, Erza has us do this kinda stuff all the time. No big."

He was trying to make her feel better, and Juvia couldn't help how she glowed inwardly at that. It took her back to those moments she'd spent with Gajeel, her only true friend in Phantom Lord, the one who had always looked after her, and she'd always looked out for him in return.

She smiled, and Gray smiled back, and it was really all Juvia could do not to dissolve into a puddle if she was being honest. And she didn't want to ruin the moment by pressing him right now with questions.

"Lucy, I swear, I'm fine!" Natsu laughed as Lucy continued to pepper him with kisses.

At which Lucy finally pulled back and play-pouted at him. "I know, but sometimes you get hurt when you do these little errands for Erza, so excuse me for worrying about my bae."

Natsu shook his head, but he was still grinning. Until he caught Erza's eye over Lucy's shoulder, and they shared a wordless communication. Juvia looked up at Gray and saw him do the same thing. Then he noticed Juvia watching him and tried to smile again.

"It's fine. Just gotta give Erza the four-one-one. We'll do that later though."

"So, it _is_ true," Lucy teased, hands on hips as she looked between Juvia and Gray, while Natsu snickered into his hand and Erza laughed behind her hand like a childish schoolgirl. "You guys _are_ a thing now…."

Juvia had no idea Lucy could look so sly, but she wore the look well.

"Hey, guys, cut it out," Gray grunted, avoiding looking at any of them and suddenly getting a surly set to his brow.

But Juvia was no less happy than she was before. "Oh Gray…."

"Hey, Juvia!"

Everyone looked round and saw Levy McGarden had stepped outside. When she saw them all though she was smiling, even if she did look harried.

"There you are! Mirajane's finished her set and we're all wondering where _you_ are!"

"Oops! Sorry, I should get onstage." As she pulled away from Gray though, he took her hands once in his and gave them a reassuring squeeze. He was smiling again, but it was small and shy, and it was just for her. As if he'd known that before she'd been a wreck on the inside about having to go on when she was so anxious about him.

Now though….

Now she felt so much freer than she could ever remember feeling in her entire life. She truly felt unafraid of the shadow of Jose that had loomed over her for so long, as she finished off her set by breaking out with a rendition of Leslie Gore's "You Don't Own Me" (which wasn't technically jazz, but whatever). The music moved within her so powerfully, the lyrics burned in her throat and she had tears of joy in her eyes.

 _"You don't own me!_

 _I'm not just one of your many toys._

 _You don't own me!_

 _And don't tell me what to do!_

 _And don't tell me what to say!_

 _And please, when I go out with you,_

 _Don't put me on display!_

 _I don't tell you what to say,_

 _I don't tell you what to do,_

 _So just let me be myself!_

 _That's all I ask of you!_

 _I'm young, and I love to be young,_

 _I'm free, and I love to be free,_

 _To live my life, the way I want,_

 _To say and do whatever I please!"_

It had been so long since she'd dared to feel things like hope, but she felt it now, so powerfully that for those small few moments it possessed her. So much so that when she finished, her forehead was clammy with sweat from the stage lights, and she was even shaking a little as she stepped off the stage to the clamorous applause.

And there he was, her sunshine Gray, hanging out at the bar with Natsu, Lucy, and Erza, and he slid his arm around her so easily though in the shadow of the bar. Then again, he kept it around her even when the house lights came up and the bar filled once more with energetic chatter as everyone broke off, milled about drinking and laughing, playing pool, cards, the like, which of course included Laxus challenging Bickslow to another arm-wrestling match, Freed cheering Laxus on quite enthusiastically. And Gray just smiled that smile of his as he nursed a beer and everyone else came by to tell Juvia how awesome her set was.

Then she shivered at the sensation of his hand wandering down from the small of her back to her lower hip, feeling him through the sheer fabric of the blue dress she'd put on for that night. She twisted around to look at him, and he just gave her a look that was like smoldering ice, and her breath and her heart caught in her throat as everything stilled, those dark irises full of soft yet searing promises of what he had in mind for them to do later, if she was up for it.

She was so glad, so very glad, that she was deciding to stay after all.

She couldn't let herself forget though that again, the truth of her reason for coming here would be revealed. In the meantime, she was happier than she ever could've imagined she'd ever be, and she would savor that for the dark time to come when she would have to come clean.

"You made it!"

Juvia and Gray glanced round at Erza's exclamation, as did Lucy and Natsu, along with Levy, Droy, and Jet who were also hanging out at the bar with them, along with Mirajane and Lisanna behind the bar pouring drinks and ringing people out.

They caught sight of Erza grasping the hands of a pretty woman with long dark hair with a thick white ribbon tied into it. She had on a short leather jacket, jeans, and leather boots, and appeared to have a very friendly relationship with Erza.

"Do you know her?" Juvia asked, and then blinked in slight surprise at the way Gray was staring at the woman. She did experience a small stab of jealousy, wondering immediately if she was an ex of some sort given the way he stared at her, but then she quickly realized it was more a look of bemused recognition.

"I've seen her around," he finally told her, "but I've never actually met her," and then took a swig of his beer.

"Hmmm." Juvia looked back at Erza and the woman who had just arrived as they came over back to the bar.

"So Simon's with Jellal?" Erza was asking the woman.

"Everything's just fine, Erza," the woman assured.

"Well, I'm just so glad you could come out, I was hoping I'd finally get a chance to introduce you properly to everyone now that the gang's all here." Erza winked at Gray, Natsu, Lucy—and Juvia too.

"I only wish Jellal could be here too," the woman said. "But you mustn't feel too bad. He's making really great progress," she added hastily, seeing the crestfallen shade that had fallen across Erza's eyes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up."

But Erza managed a smile. "No, it's fine! Everyone here's been anxious to hear how Jellal's been doing."

"Let me guess," Natsu cut in, "this is Jellal's infamous therapist."

"Yes, that's right." Erza gestured to the woman beside her with a wave of her hand. "And I can finally introduce you guys since you're all here at the same time. Everybody: Ultear Milkovich."

There was a burst of glass and beer that splattered against Juvia's legs as the bottle in Gray's hand slid out of his suddenly slackened grasp. Bewildered, she skittered away from the broken bottle, as did Lucy and Natsu, Levy nearby giving a yelp.

"Man, what the hell?!" Natsu groused at Gray.

But Juvia looked up at Gray and alarms went off at the way he'd frozen, staring now in shock at the woman Erza had introduced as Ultear Milkovich, the blood drained from his face.

And Ultear Milkovich meanwhile met his gaze with a grin that to Juvia was decidedly very wicked.

Right before she reached inside her jacket and whipped out the Smith and Wesson handgun that she pointed right between Gray's eyes.


End file.
